A reputable newspaper-columnist [oxymoron?] has formally proposed that Illinois, in recognition of its long tradition of profiteering politicians, should adopt a new and appropriate creature as the state mascot.


What Illinois needs now is a mascot embodying our political spirit, a special creature that lives in the shadows and sidles up to victims and—before the prey truly comprehend what's happening to them—drains them of every drop of blood.

Such a creature, which should now become our new State of Illinois animal, is none other than:

The chupacabra.

In Spanish, chupacabra means goat-sucker, for its alleged habits of creeping up to goats, chickens, sheep (exactly!) and other barnyard animals, sucking out their blood. Its mythical range is said to extend from South America, into Mexico, even Crete. There have been recent unconfirmed sightings in the southwest U.S.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: shufitz,

Shu mentioned that would be a good avatar. Wouldn't it, though?

I think it's time to change my pretty flower to something a little more edgy. This may be it!