Wordcraft Home Page    Wordcraft Community Home Page    Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  Potpourri    Managementspeak
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
Managementspeak Login/Join
 
Member
Picture of arnie
posted
I well and truly blotted my copybook during a meeting at work today.

A colleague talked about "progressing upcoming deliverables" and I burst out laughing. The juxtaposition of these three dire examples of managementspeak just set me off. The boss wanted to know what I found so funny, so I had to explain that, as a lover of the English language, I found such phrases risible.

Later, I apologised to both the boss and the perpetrator of the phrase and I hope no lasting damage was done.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
Posts: 10940 | Location: LondonReply With QuoteReport This Post
Junior Member
posted Hide Post
Good for you.
I would have laughed too!
But: had to think about what it meant.
Supply keeping up with demand?
 
Posts: 15 | Location: New ZealandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
quote:
Later, I apologised to both the boss and the perpetrator of the phrase and I hope no lasting damage was done.
I am sure, knowing you, that there was no lasting damage. I, however, got into trouble recently with a "grammar maven" discussion by my boss, who, by the way, thinks that you should never start a sentence with "however." It must be included within the sentence as I did above. He learned this from his English teacher, and so it's Gospel!

Lily, I had the same question. What the heck did she mean?
 
Posts: 24735 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
<Asa Lovejoy>
posted
I would have requested a translator. Big Grin
 
Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
quote:
had to think about what it meant.
Supply keeping up with demand?

No, it just means making progress (progressing) on the stuff (deliverables) you still need to do (upcoming).
 
Posts: 1242 | Location: San FranciscoReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bethree5
posted Hide Post
A local NY newscaster commented that Home Depot really knew how to turn a phrase when it announced yesterday that it would "slow new-store growth."
 
Posts: 2605 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of arnie
posted Hide Post
quote:
it just means making progress (progressing) on the stuff (deliverables) you still need to do (upcoming).
Yes. The particularly ridiculous thing was that someone else had already talked about that in plain English, and he was agreeing.

I believe I may have managed a small victory, though. When I apologised to the guy who said the phrase he said that all he really needed to say was "I agree" and he realised didn't really need to translate it. He might even engage his brain before his mouth at future meetings; we shall see.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
Posts: 10940 | Location: LondonReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bethree5
posted Hide Post
Having survived a decade as a female in still-nearly-all-male mega-engineering companies of the 1970's-80's, I found fluency in management doublespeak to be a pre-requisite of getting around ornery critters of every stripe. My dh is still with one of those institutions, and we both get a kick out of Dilbert, who tells it like it is.
 
Posts: 2605 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
See here for an almost infinite number of Management-speak phrases. http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html


Richard English
 
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
First time I've heard 174,240 called near infinite.

Actually, as a mathematician I feel obliged to point out that the phrase "near infinite" is nonsense. There can be no finite number that is near infinite because no matter what finite number you choose there is an infinity of numbers bigger than it. And that's before we get into the idea of multiple infinities. (I can recommend some good books if you are interested.)


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9422 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Of course, one can speak of "almost infinite" in a rhetorical sense. In programming, I get confused by the concept of a maximum integer, typically 2^31 - 1. There is also a minimum integer, typically -2^31. The other day I was talking about an algorithm working on the "Traveling Salesman problem", with something like hundreds of cities, which I said would take "forever" to solve. In truth, assuming P is not equal to NP, one can construct problems that would take the entire universe trillions of years of solve, meaning that they will never be solved.
 
Posts: 886 | Location: IllinoisReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Caterwauller
posted Hide Post
2 weeks ago was "Take Your Child to Work Day", and it happened to be a day when I had marathon meetings. The first was a system-wide managers meeting, and I figured he'd be pretty bored. I was tempted to make him some Lingo Bingo cards to keep him interested and paying attention.

Another story - my library gutted the PR department a few years ago, and the new folks came in talking all the time about "branding" the library. I happened to be sitting next to one of my African-American colleagues at one of the meetings when they were explaining their concept of "comprehensive branding of all library programs and locations." She said "don't talk to Black people about branding!" I responded "moo".


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
Posts: 5149 | Location: Columbus, OhioReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of wordmatic
posted Hide Post
Ah, "Branding." It just means to use the same logo on all your letterheads, publications, web sites, etc. And the same "color palette." Not the same colors. The same color palette. We've been branding higher education for a number of years too, and it still brings up images of steers on ranches getting letters burned into their hides for me.

WM
 
Posts: 1390 | Location: Near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted Hide Post
quote:
First time I've heard 174,240 called near infinite.


I confess I didn't scroll to the bottom of the list and do the maths - but even if the number is not "near infinity" (and I agree that the phrase is technically nonsensical) I think the expression conveyed my meaning clearly enough. It is a large number of phrases to generate and to try to use.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata  
 

Wordcraft Home Page    Wordcraft Community Home Page    Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  Potpourri    Managementspeak

Copyright © 2002-12