USEFUL PHRASES FOR WESTERNERS
BACKPACKERING IN THE MIDDLE EAST
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Kbar Khali-Kili Haftir Lotfan.
Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.

Tikeh Nuneh Ba Ob Khrelleh Bezorg Va
Khube Boyast Ino Begeram.
The water soaked breadcrumbs are delicious,
thank you. I must have the recipe.

Ekr Gabul Cardan Davat Parh Gush Divar
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to
lie down on the floor with my arms above my head
with my legs apart.

Maternier Ghermez Ahlieh Ghorban
The red blindfold would be lovely.

Balli, Balli, Balli
Whatever you say.

Auto Arraregh Davateman Mano Sephaheh- Hasti
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to
travel in the trunk of your car.

Cashal-Eh Fashal-Eh Tupheman Na Degat Man Goftam
Cheeshayeh Mohemarir Behmeshvarehma.
If you will do me the kindness of not harming my
genital appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by
betraying my country in public.

"Ekr Gabul Cardan Davat Parh Gush Divar
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to
lie down on the floor with my arms above my head
with my legs apart."

Am I the only one taking this quote the wrong way?
I know I'm new here, so please don't take offense. Perhaps it's just me that needs help...

quote:

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Am I the only one taking this quote the wrong way?
I know I'm new here, so please don't take offense. Perhaps it's just me that needs help...

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Jim, this is all in fun. I got this in an email along with some other jokes and is NOT to be taken literally.

By the way, welcome to the board!!

Thank you M'Lady, it's a pleasure to be here.
I've heard wonderful things about this place, and when I read that quote, my natural tendencies to find the dirty side of everything took over!

quote:

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I've heard wonderful things about this place, and when I read that quote, my natural tendencies to find the dirty side of everything took over!

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You know, it never occurred to me to find a dirty meaning to that particular translation......and that is not at ALL like me!

quote:

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You know, it never occurred to me to find a dirty meaning to that particular translation......and that is not at ALL like me!

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It sure isn't!

re translations:

In our chat, museamuse mentioned that a poet, whose verse she was translating into english, complained that in her effort to preserve his rhymes and meters she had sometimes altered his meanings.

The Italians have a proverb, "Il traduttore è traditore," or "traduttore-traditore" - A translator is a traitor.

A sign in a Swiss hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

A sign at a Thai donkey ride:
Would you like to ride on you own ass?

In a laundry in Rome:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

A sign in a Paris hotel:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

A sign in a hotel across the street from a Russian cemetery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

A sign in a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

From the brochure of a Tokyo car rental firm:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

A sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Sign in a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.

Poster in a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

Sign in a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

A Russian language instructor gave to his first class of the day a list of common English phrases and asked them to translate them into Russian. He asked his second class to translate the answers back into English. "Out of sight,out of mind." came back as "Invisible lunatic."

I've always enjoyed the eccentric use of English around the world and while I feel a little guilty for laughing at someone's valiant linguistic efforts I can't help smiling at some of them.
I still remember visiting a monastery in China where a hand letered sign told me the price for "Everywhere to be looking around tickets" and I'm chuckling even now about the restaurant in Kathmandu advertising its food with the slogan "Try the real test of Tandoori !".

The prize for sustained creative use of English has to go to the regulations posted in my room in the hotel in Luang Prabang in Laos. I've included it in full below.

Lao people's Democratic Republic
Peace Independence Democracy Unity Prosperity

Regulations to link the guest who come to stay.
Staying at hotel or guest house to attach inside and foreige country guests.Come to stay.

In order to tidy the sociality and safety - peace to the guest who come to stay also in sure to the way policy nation wided tourism in Lao PDR.


1. Touris, visiting of the guest had to back the hotel or guest house before 12 o'lock.


2. when you check in the hotel or guest house you have to bring your passport, document to the reception section or the reception.


3. Guest house will not be responsible for your valuable to be lost in the room, if necessary please deposit in the receptionist.


4. Prohibit to bring any procession into the hotel or guest house that illegality.
Including other weapons exception the officer authorities military who's allowed to get alicence to hold agun only


5. Disallow to apply another dopes and betting in the guest house or hotel.


6. Every tim you get in and get out locked your room then bring the key room to the receptionist before you leaving of the room.


7. checking out of your guest house, hotel always before 12 o'cloc in the afternoon and inspected all your belonging before you get out of room.


8. Forbid to get everything in the room that belonging to hotel, guest house, whenyou checking out hotel or guest house.


9. Please to meet your guest at the reception in a room that guest house,hotel had provided. Awesome received or lead the guests in to room before you yet allowed from the staff of the hotel,guest house


10. If any one not to perform this regulation will get penalty to put on trial by law.

Luangprabang
Immigration and foreigness mancegemant.
02 APR 1999

Vescere bracis meis.

Read all about my travels around the world here.
Read even more of my travel writing and poems on my weblog.

The following came verbatim from asking dictionary.com's Translator service to translate its translations back and forth .... and so on ......



1) In French:

T'as une tête a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts

In English:

Have you a head has to make jump the manhole covers


2) In English:

Have you a head has to make jump the manhole covers

In French:

Vous avez que une tête doit faire à saut les couvertures de trou d'homme

3) In English:

You have that a head must make with jump the covers of inspection pit

In French:

Vous avez qu'une tête doit faire avec le saut les couvertures du puits d'inspection

Writing next week's article for my weblog I went back through some old journals and came across this. It's another list of Hotel Rules, this time from the Lan Kum Hotel in Chiang Rai.

Wellcome to lan kum hotel quests are requested to co operate
witthe hotel's directions here under

1. please deposite the valve belongings with our hotel safty box
2 we will not be resonsible for any artesies lost or stolen in room
3. iffleage arties are not allowed in the room or within the
premises of the hotel
4. any danger caused to thehotel property during the pestrol of
stay shall be respnsible by the guests
5 gambling are prohibit in the room
6. please do not disturb the heighbours
7 check out time in twelve hours

thank you"

I have absolutely no idea what number three means. Any suggestions?

Vescere bracis meis.

Read all about my travels around the world here.
Read even more of my travel writing and poems on my weblog.

quote:

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Originally posted by BobHale:
3. iffleage arties are not allowed in the room or within the
premises of the hotel

I have absolutely no idea what number three means. Any suggestions?

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Possibly "Pilferred articles are not allowed..."??

AKA "Thou shalt not use this hotel as a storage facility for your stolen swag."

Just a guess.

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
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Funny, but the last time a chambermaid tried to flatten my underwear, quite the opposite happened!

This is from an old Toyota diesel engine fuel filter, part number 23303-64010: 1: When warning lamp is lightening, drain water by turning on cock and operating hand pump. I'll bet their underwear isn't flat either.

My husband is in the (continuing ) process of restoring an old British motorcycle. (A 1972 Triumph Bonneville, Richard.) Every now and then he comes to me with a chuckle as he is reading the manual and trying to interpret what things mean.

Today the manual told him to use a mole wrench. Not having a clue, at least this time there was a photo, and it turns out it is what the USn's would call a vice grips or a locking jaw pliers.

Now, tell me, does a mole have a locking jaw?

the manual told him to use a mole wrench.
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If the mole wrench slips, your hubby's going to need a moleskin! BTW, have any of you ever actually felt a mole's fur? It's incredibly soft and smooth!

does a mole have a locking jaw?
____________________________________
Only if the mole steps on a rusty nail.

I have a pair of moleskin plus twos that I wore for fell walking in my younger days. The cloth is not made from actual moles, but is so soft that it feels like it.

Unfortunately the waist seems to have shrunk so I can no longer get into them, but I still keep them in hope.