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WARNING: Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any WOMAN. A date rape drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large "kegs." "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking "beer" men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female. | ||
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I see I have little to worry about then. Of those sources you mention I would drink only from bottles - and then only those which bear the inscription "Bottle-conditioned". Proper beer is stored in a cask (not a keg) and is served by a hand-pump, not a tap. Richard English | |||
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Somehow, Richard, I knew you would make this joke educational for us all. Thank you so very much for not disappointing me!  | |||
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"A man's gotta believe in something ! I believe I'll have another beer." ~~~~ jerry | |||
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The words keg and cask have acquired different meanings in UK English in the past fifty years (since the advent of chemical fizz). Originally the two terms were interchangeable. Nowadays a keg refers to a metal pressurised container holding chemical rubbish such as Budweiser. A cask, which may be made of wood or metal, will be unpressurised and used for dispensing Real Ale. Wooden casks, indeed, cannot be used to dispense pressurized fizz. In the USA the distinction has not applied since few US drinkers were even aware that there can be different kinds of beer. However, since the revival of brewing in the USA the distinction will, I suspect, become evident. As evidence, look at http://www.cask-ale.co.uk/~sparkys/index.html where there is information about a proper pub in New York which not only uses handpumps but also differentiates between keg and cask ales. A tap was originally used to describe the faucet on a cask but is now commonly used to describe the valve on one of the hideous shiny metal fonts that grace the bars of most US drinking establishments. These devices invariably dispense chemical fizz at temperatures approaching absolute zero. A handpump is the essentially British method of beer dispensing. The pump (and it is a genuine suction pump which has no electrical parts) is operated by a truncheon-shaped handle on top of the bar. The beer itself will be stored in a cellar, in its cask, and will be drawn up to the bar by the pump. This method of dispense ensures that the beer is kept a a proper temperature and is not contaminated by smoke or other atmospheric pollutants that are endemic in most bars. For pictures of handpumps and casks look at http://www.jug-and-bottle.freeserve.co.uk/caskbeers.htm Some might wonder why we do not call a cask a "barrel". This is simply because, although a barrel is a cask, not all casks are barrels. A barrel is just one particular size of cask and the full range of sizes is: Pin 4½ Gallons Firkin 9 Gallons = 2 Pins Kilderkin 18 Gallons = 2 Firkins Barrel 36 Gallons = 2 Kilderkins Hogshead 54 Gallons = 1½ Barrels Puncheon 72 Gallons = 2 Barrels Butt 108 Gallons = 2 Hogsheads Tun 216 Gallons = 2 Butts These sizes are Imperial, not US. For a good description of casks and their uses go to http://www.fatbadgers.co.uk/Britain/casks.htm Incidentally, although it is not generally known by passengers, the Gross Registered Tonnage of a ship has nothing to do with its weight or displacement. It is a measure of the useable space in the vessel as calculated by the number of tuns it could accommodate. Richard English | |||
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I'd just add a couple of things to that. quote: Some beer is dispensed from a cask at above bar level. This of course does not require a pump as the beer is dispensed by gravity. This is always the method used at British beer festivals. Whether or not Richard would call this a "tap", I don't know (I just drink the stuff - I'm not an expert). quote: I sincerely doubt that. -273 degrees Centigrade ? quote: Some breweries use electric pumps in their tied houses. This is a convenience to enable them to dispense accurately measured amounts. The casks are still unpressured and the beer is still "real" beer. Some CAMRA members frown on the devices and most traditional pubs do use hand pumps but "essential" ? Not really. quote: true, but there are now two distinct varieties of pressurised containers for keg beer. The more usual is containers pressurised with carbon dioxide but there has been a growing trend towards "nitro-keg" containers pressurised with nitrogen. Personally I find (when I'm unable to get real ale) that nitro-keg is slightly less unpleasant and tangy than its carbon dioxide counterpart. Vescere bracis meis. Read all about my travels around the world here. | |||
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Just to clarify, I said that tap was originally used to describe the faucet on a cask - I should perhaps have said "only used to describe". It is still used in this manner. Approaching absolute zero - I was using exaggeration for the sake of emphasis here! But even so, I submit that the temperature is still approaching absolute zero, even though it probably still has 273 degrees to go before it gets there. I did not say that handpumps were essential, I said they were essentially British. And that's quite a different thing! Electric pumps are used but they are not common. There are several reasons.They can break down, they deliver the beer at a constant speed and pressure and cannot therefore be used to control the head, they are slower, they can be mistaken for keg fonts and, most importantly, they do not offer the exercise to the pectoral muscles that is so useful in developing the buxom figure of the British barmaid! In fact, although it is not accepted as accurate by trading standards, a properly set up handpump (often know as a beer engine) will deliver exactly half a pint on a full pull. Kegs can be pressurised by carbin dioxide or nitrogen and, since it is less soluble in water, nitrogen pressurisation is less offensive than is carbon dioxide pressurisation. It's rather like being hit over the head by a wooden mallet - it's less unpleasant than being hit with a metal hammer. Richard English [This message was edited by Richard English on Sat Feb 15th, 2003 at 9:42.] | |||
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First a fun comment--then to more seriousness. Recall CJ's comments wondering, since there are 5,000 different beers in the U.K., if he by happenstance hit upon a correct name of "Hog's Butt"? Well, I had to laugh as I read Richard's last link. It doesn't specifically talk about "Hog's Butt" beer, but it does refer to (speaking of beer casks) a Butt being equal to 2 Hogsheads and a Tun being equal to 2 Butts.    As most of you know, I have been searching the entire Chicago area for 2 beers--Hog's Back T.E.A. and Fuller's 1845. As luck would have it, apparently I got the very last pint of Hog's Back in the entire Chicagoland area. None of the Chicago beer distributors are going to carry it again, I am told. I also found that the Fuller's is on back order at all the major stores in Chicago and that "we are at the mercy of our English distributors"; no one knows when or if any of that will come in. In the process of speaking to the "expert" beer personnel in all of the stores that I called, it was quite apparent that I knew more about beer than most of them did! Most (though the beer distributor of Sam's Liquor in Chicago was an exception) had never heard of bottle-conditioned and in fact asked me what it was! Remember, on a scale of 1 - 10 (1=know nothing; 10=Richard's beer knowledge) before reading this site, I probably would have scored about a 2 on a beer scale. I merely knew that Budweiser tasted like carbonated water--and that was about it. Richard, you have taught us an awful lot about beer-- Thank you![This message was edited by Kalleh on Sat Feb 15th, 2003 at 21:43.] | |||
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Kalleh, I could mail you a few bottles, but, first a question for Richard. Does Fullers have to stay cold? The only way to make it stay cold would be to pack in dry ice, but then it would probably get too cold. | |||
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quote: So, 2 butts to the tun. Yep, I've seen some butts that were about half a tun! quote: I disagree, Kalleh. Carbonated water tastes better, though I don't care for it, either. Tinman | |||
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A question for all the people who (quite rightly) dislike Bud. Have any of you ever been unlucky enough to try Old Milwaukee. It'll have you remembering Bud with fond nostalgia. Vescere bracis meis. Read all about my travels around the world here. | |||
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No. On the contrary. In order to finish its fermentation in the bottle it needs to remain at room temperature. However, once that process has finished, the beer is stable and will keep for a year or more and the ambient temperature makes little difference. Like wine, it is sold in liquor stores at whatever temperature the shelf happen to be. When serving, though, Fullers needs to be be at a temperature of around 45 degrees Fahrenheit. Serve it cooler if you wish, but don't freeze it. Richard English | |||
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Richard, you use the term "imperial gallon". Am I correct in understanding that this measure does not differ from just plain "gallon"? If that's the case, which term is used in ordinary day-to-day British speech? Also, I noticed you spelt the name Fullers without an apostrophe. Upon some research, I found that a fuller is "one who fulls cloth"; that is, who "makes a garment full, as by pleating or gathering". Is that the source of the name? | |||
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I used the word Imperial to indicate that I was referring to British, as opposed to US measures. The Imperial gallon is equivalent to 1.201 US gallons and US subdivisions of gallons are similarly smaller than are British Imperial measures. We do not talk about "Imperial Gallons" (or pints or whatever) in England any more than you would talk about "US Gallons" over there. However, I believe it is as well to offer a "translation" when we are talking across cultures; there are enough possible communication pitfalls without introducing the additional possibility of confusion over units! A "fuller" is indeed one who fulls cloth and I suspect that this is where the name arose in antiquity. Trades gave their names to many people and the more popular the trade the more popular the name, it seems to me. Hence the large numbers of "Smiths" we have around the place. Richard English | |||
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Oh, Shufitz, I noticed that you used the term "spelt", instead of "spelled"; you are becoming an endearing Brit, as well! | |||
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quote: Well, he has to maintain your affection! In "The Writer's Art", James J. Kilpatrick discusses euphony. Tinman | |||
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