Language Log recently posted about this message on a CD case: "Unit Automatically Becomes Portable When Carried." In a Google search they found the same company's camera case says, "holds all digital cameras small enough to fit."

Are there others you can think of?

I've always liked "void where prohibited", which is actually a fairly succinct way to say, "offer not valid everywhere", but has always amused me.

I remember seeing (I think it was on some kind of pen) "Guaranteed for lifetime of product".

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

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I remember seeing (I think it was on some kind of pen) "Guaranteed for liftime of product".

Although this seems at first stupid, "lifetime" guarantees, rare though they are, need to specify what lifetime they are referring to. Is it the lifetime of the original owner, is it the whole time that the product is in the ownership of the original owner, or is it the lifetime of the product?

Bear in mind that many products will last indefinitely if they are maintained and their components replaced as needed - and their eventual disappearance may simply be a matter of preference or expediency, and not because they are worn out. Many people replace clothing when it goes out of fashion, not when it wears out - and any lifetime guarantee associated with such clothing will be until it is no longer wanted.

So a guarantee that promises to maintain a product for its lifetime isn't as curious as it might at first seem.

So in what way would it differ from the statement "this product will work until it fails", which is of course an entirely meaningless statement.
After all you can define its "lifetime" as "the period for which it works".

(And I think we discussed this once before.)

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After all you can define its "lifetime" as "the period for which it works".

Of course. And in that instance the guarantee would be worthless. But it could also mean that it is guaranteed for the normal lifetime (which would need to be specified) or the length of time that the owner wished to keep it for, or even the period for which it is designed to work (not the same as a normal or average lifetime). Some products are designed to work for a specific period; a toner or ink cartridge is designed to last until it runs out of ink or toner and, if it failed for other reasons before running out, a manufacturer would probably replace it.

What the manufacturer of the product you cite meant was that his product was guaranteed, and would be repaired free of charge, during its expected lifetime - but I agree, as shown the meaning is is unclear.

I encounter this kind of doublespeak with warranties where I work. One manufacturer states that its machines have a "five-year warranty." However, the fine print mentions that items covered under the Environmental Protection Agency's requirements are covered by a two-year warranty, per government fiat. Items subject to normal wear such as air and fuel filters are not covered unless they're physically defective, so essentially what's covered for five years is the piece of paper with the warranty declarations.

Many years ago a brand of cereal marketed to children included a toy in the box, and advertised, "Free (for extra charge)."

I rather found what Richard said to be doublespeak. After all, if the washing machine broke, the company could say, "Well, it was at its normal lifetime." How would you know? As for the length of time the owner wished to keep it, well, they are out of luck with Shu and me! We keep our appliances, cars, etc., until they no longer can be repaired. I do know that many think an appliance should be replaced in 10 years, but I consider that balderdash.

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I rather found what Richard said to be doublespeak. After all, if the washing machine broke, the company could say, "Well, it was at its normal lifetime." How would you know?

As I said, the lifetime would need to be specified if a guarantee of that nature were to be meaningful.

One manufacturer of video tape - I genuinely can't remember which one - didn't guarantee its tapes "for ever" and ran a series of advertisements of an animated skeleton (voiced by Derek Guyler) continuously replaying a tape. I did once send back a faulty tape to them and they replaced it, by return, without charge to me.

Now that video tape is obsolescent I suspect that their guarantee will soon be of little importance.

This isn't a tautology, but I've always thought those tags on couches, chairs, pillows, etc., are interesting: DO NOT REMOVE UNDER THE PENALTY OF LAW! I used to wonder, when I was a little girl, if I'd go to jail if I tore it off.