This received in e-mail.

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however; realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1. SAY: You could use more training. (INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.)
2. SAY: She's an aggressive go-getter. (INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.)
3. SAY: Perhaps I can work late. (INSTEAD OF: When the f___ do you expect me to do this?)
4. SAY: I'm certain that isn't feasible. (INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.)
5. SAY: Really? (INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!)
6. SAY: Perhaps you should check with... (INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.)
7. SAY: I wasn't involved in the project. (INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.)
8. SAY: That's interesting. (INSTEAD OF: What the f___?)
9. SAY: I'm not sure this can be implemented. (INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.)
10. SAY: I'll try to schedule that. (INSTEAD OF: Why the h_! __ didn't you tell me sooner?)
11. SAY: He's not familiar with the issues. (INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.)
12. SAY: Excuse me, sir? (INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.)
13. SAY: So you weren't happy with it? (INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.)
14. SAY: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. (INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.)
15. SAY: I don't think you understand. (INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.)
16. SAY: I love a challenge. (INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.)
17. SAY: You want me to take care of that? (INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?)
18. SAY: He's somewhat insensitive. (INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.)

Thank You,
Human Resources

Here we go with that blasted Human Resources again. No wonder!

In the TV series "The Apprentice" the other night one of the team leaders when challenged about changing his mind about the details of their task said something like

"All projects have a divergent and a convergent phase. We have no achieved our divergent phase and are beginning the convrgence."


And remember this is the British version, not the US one!
Sort that one out if you can.

I think what he's saying is that the project's coming together before it fell apart. Better than the converse, I suppose.

Did the British program come before the U.S. one? I'd ask you how they differ, though you probably don't know about ours. Actually, I have seen very little of it.