In today's language column, Nathan Bierma salutes Gelett Burgess, a humorist. Last week marked his 140th birthday. He developed the words "blurb" and "bromide" in is 1906 book, "Are you a Bromide?" In his 1914 book, "Burgess Unabridged," he listed 100 words, including a full page of commentary and an eight-line poem for each (sound familiar? ) Does anyone have that 1914 book? It sounds fascinating. Below are some of those 100 words that Burgess had hoped would catch on:

agowilt: "sickening terror." The feeling you have the instant you have done something without considering the dire consequences. "The minute after you throw the burnt match into the waste-paper basket," Burgess wrote, "the agowilt comes."

alibos: blatant lie or exaggeration. When your boss or your curfew-defying teen tells you a whopper today, you know what to call it.

bimped: to be jilted or cheated out of something. The would-be husband of the runaway bride or the customer who gets a nickel back instead of a quarter can say, "I got bimped."

bripkin: one who puts forth mediocre effort. "The bripkin invites a girl to the theatre, but he takes her in a street-car -- on a rainy night, too!" Burgess explained.

cowcat: "a person whose main function is to occupy space." Of the many possibilities, Burgess suggested, "Your wife's relatives?"

diabob: garishly ugly decoration; kitsch. Burgess rhymed, "This object made of celluloid, This thing so wildly plushed, How grossly Art has been annoyed, How Common Sense has blushed!"

frime: a reliable, thoughtful person. "The frime knows when you are hungry, when you are thirsty and when you would be let alone," Burgess wrote.

gloogo: a person who displays notable loyalty and devotion to a task, thing, or another person.

"You are a gloogo if you read Burgess Unabridged all the way through," Burgess wrote.

gubble: meaningless social chatter.

huzzlecoo: private conversation between friends, business people, or flirts.

igmoil: a bitter dispute over money.

jirriwig: a traveler who ignores, or is indifferent to, dazzling surrounding sights.

kipe: to scrutinize with jealousy or contempt. "Up and down, from hat to heel, women kipe each other insolently as they pass," Burgess wrote.

lallify: to delay; to painstakingly extend. "The preacher, barren of fresh thoughts, lallifies his meager sermon," Burgess wrote.

looblum: something enjoyable but harmful. "Human nature," Burgess wrote, "woos the looblum."

mooble: unremarkable attempts at greatness. "Moobly novels are written by -- well of course you know already," Burgess said.

oofle: "a person whose name you cannot remember."

paloodle: person who provides unwanted advice or information.

quisty: useful but not beautiful.

quoob: person whose behavior is constantly out of place. "If you are a natural born quoob, you are the only one of all the audience to applaud, or cheer," Burgess wrote.

rizgidget: state of indecisiveness.

skyscrimble: to go off topic, obliviously or evasively.

tashivate: "to reply without attention." What readers of this article may currently be doing to their chattering spouses.

unk: a gift that is not wanted or appropriate.

vilp: one who wins or loses in bad form, either gloating or making excuses.

whinkle: disingenuous or manipulative politeness. Burgess wrote: "How whinkles the pallid clerk at his employer's jokes."

yowf: "one whose importance exceeds his merit."

Wouldn't these be great for the Bluffing game?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

Judging by the definitions, some of these proposed words were needed words. However, none seem to have caught on. Could it be that, in 1914, there were already existing words that sufficed?....
diabob-- kitsch
quisty- utilitarian
skyscrimble- dissemble
unk- white elephant

Could it be that other words developed to fill the voids?....

bimped- screwed
cowcat- benchwarmer
gubble buzz...

Could it be that Burgess's words failed because you can't tell the English language what to do or where to go?

Does anyone have that 1914 book?

I know of Gelett Burgess (1866-1951) because of his association with nonsense verse / limericks (cf. Edward Leary and Lewis Carroll / C. L. Dodgson). The book I looked at was called The Purple Cow and Other Nonsense, which was reprinted by Dover, and some of his novels are available at Project Gutenberg.

quote:

Could it be that Burgess's words failed because you can't tell the English language what to do or where to go?

I suppose. Much like my frustration with epicaricacy.

Yes, zmj, Burgess is responsible for the Purple Cow verse:

I never saw a purple cow;
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.


He was driven to create this verse in self-defense:

Ah, yes! I wrote the "Purple Cow"
I'm Sorry, now, I Wrote it!
But I can Tell you, Anyhow,
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!

[Edited to take out my inane comment that Burgess wrote the latter verse in 1996. In fact, he died in 1951. I am so sorry!]

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

I don't feel that Burgess was trying to coin words to get them into the language, but to have fun with his language. He died before 1996, but it's nice to see he's still writing. (Ah, so now, you admit you made up this e-word nonsense. I see.)

Thanks for keeping me honest, zmj. Bierma had written that The Columbia World of Quotations (1996) had reported this. I had misread it. I am so sorry, and thanks, zmj, for setting this right. I will edit that post above so as not to confuse people.

The fact is, Humorist and illustrator Frank Gelett Burgess was born Jan. 30, 1866, in Boston and died Sept. 17, 1951, in Carmel, California.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,