Ran across this item about Canada on language log and it made me think about something that happens to me all the time in China.

I say "sorry" or "thank you" (or their Chinese equivalents) and Chinese people look at me in bewilderment or openly laugh.

Until I came to China I hadn't realised just how much I said them. I don't think I'm especially atypical of my nation but once you are in a context where it's drawn to your attention you start to wonder.

For example in the early days here a typical transaction in a supermarket with a non-English speaking cashier would go something like this.

Me: <mimes shopping bag>
Cashier: <hands over bag>
Me: Thank you
Cashier: <scans and hands over item 1>
Me: Thanks
Cashier: <scans and hands over item 2>
Me: Thank you
Cashier: <scans and hands over item 2>
Me: Thanks
.
.
.
.
<some time later>
.
.
Cashier: <points to total on register>
Me: Thanks <hands over money>
Cashier: <returns change>
Me: Thank you, Goodbye

Over here thanking someone, even once, in these circumstances, is unusual because it's assumed that you don't need to thank someone who is doing their job. I used to buy bread at a streetside bakery on my way home and I would always say, "Thank you" when she handed over the bread and again when she handed over the change. And she laughed every time.

It's similar with "sorry". I've stopped saying "sorry" when people bump into me but I still say it when, inevitably on crowded streets, I bump into someone else. They always seem puzzled by it and I've never had anyone say it to me. It isn't rudeness, it's a different cultural norm.

Thanks for listening, and sorry for taking up your time.

bú kèqi

I think I must be Canadian...I am always saying "I'm sorry." It's kinda ingrained. I've noticed that sometimes people will say, "You don't need to apologize for it; it wasn't your fault." I just think it's polite, but some people are quite reticent to say, "I'm sorry."

It's a very British thing to say 'Thank you' and 'Sorry'. The Canadians are not so different.

Lynne Murphy of the Separated by a Common Language blog has mentioned the difference between American and British forms of politeness a few times.

There's an interesting lecture of hers on YouTube that is worth watching.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: arnie,

quote:

Over here thanking someone, even once, in these circumstances, is unusual because it's assumed that you don't need to thank someone who is doing their job.

I've noticed the difference between British and American politeness several times when watching TV or films.

One example is, when ordering a meal, an American would say to a waiter something like "I'll have the chicken", whereas a British person would say "I'll have the chicken, please". The American version really seems rude to me, although I know full well it's just a difference between our cultures.

quote:

I'll have the chicken", whereas a British person would say "I'll have the chicken, please".

I've often heard "I'll have the chicken, slut," but that may just be due to the places I frequent.

I don't think that's correct, arnie. I would always say "I'll have the chicken, please" or something similar. Fellow Americans?

[Speaking of Americans, and off-subject, I was on a helpdesk call because our wireless wasn't working. My helpdesk person was from India, and as he was completing the work he had to put in the continent I was in. He said, "The US is in South America, right?"