A few days from now, on Halloween, strange and fantastic creatures will prowl the night. What better time to recall some of the comical odd creatures of folklore? [Admittedly, the words presented here will not be quite as reliable as those under other themes.]

The gillygaloo was a bird of colorful plumage and fine melodious song, native to the remote forests of Wisconsin, that was unusually well-adapted to nesting on the steepest of slopes. The gillygaloo laid square eggs so that they wouldn't roll downhill.

Accordingly, these eggs were a valuable commodity for the lumberjacks. When hardboiled, they made excellent dice.

There are reports that a galoopus bird of southwest Missouri laid similar eggs. I cannot say whether this is a separate species. Probably not, for reports tell that the galoopus bird was black and was as large as an eagle.

The luferlang is easy to identify by the tail in the middle of its back. It can run in either direction, and its bite is almost certain death.

Accordingly, be cautious during the biting season, which usually occurs on July 12. Particularly avoid green clothing, which tends to arouse the creature further.

Conversely, an orange-colored handkerchief conspicuously displayed will invariably afford full protection. Alternatively, keep in mind that the luferlang is terribly frightened of seeing itself. Carry a big mirror at all times, so that in the event of luferlang attack you can hold that mirror in front of you. This is most effective.

"Carry a big mirror at all times, so that in the event of luferlang attack you can hold that mirror in front of you. This is most effective."


Now THAT is a self-esteem problem!

The goofus bird, wishing to know where it's been, flies backwards. It also prefers to sleep upside down, so it builds its nest upside down, shaped something like an igloo with the hole underneath. No one is sure why the eggs don't fall out.

Somewhat similar is Wisconsin's goofang, a fish that which swims backwards to keep the water out of its eyes. One deduces that its eyes must be hypersensitive. It is about the size of a sunfish, only bigger. It is related that the sandhill perch, which swims backwards through dry desert streams, to protect its eyes from dust.

Speaking of fish, I should mention the upland trout, which is such so delicious a pan fish that tenderfeet are often sent into the woods to catch them. However, the upland trout is extremely difficult to catch, because it builds its nest in trees.

Accordingly, be cautious during the biting season, which usually occurs on July 12. Particularly avoid green clothing, which tends to arouse the creature further.

Hmm, maybe I should come on in the Halloween chat as a luferlang. My birthday is July 12th!

Or do you think Shu might actually be a luferlang in disguise??

The squonk lives only in the hemlock forests of Pennsylvania. As if it didn't have enough trouble already, its habitat is now greatly reduced.

And trouble it has indeed, for the squonk is an extremely ugly quadruped, with badly-fitting skin covered with warts and moles. It is quite aware of and upset by its terrible appearance, and so is extremely reclusive, makes every attempt to avoid being seen, and constantly weeps over its sad fate.

An expert hunter may therefore be able to track a squonk by following the glistening trail of tears by the light of a full moon. However, those few who have captured and bagged a squonk have been disappointed. The captured squonk will weep constantly within the sack, and the hunter, upon returning home, finds the bag is much lighter.

When he opens it he finds nothing but perhaps a bit of salt water and a wet spot on the canvas. The squonk, desperate to avoid being seen, has dissolved in its own teardrops. . This gives rise to its formal scientific name, Lacrimacorpus dissolvens, from the Latin for 'body', 'tears', and 'dissolve'. It also gives new meaning to the phrase, "dissolved in tears".

The rubberado is rather like a porcupine, but its quills and flesh have a rubbery consistency. It travels not by walking or running but by bouncing from one spot to the next, and some say that it laughs each time it lands. Rubberado flesh is difficult to eat, as the teeth cannot get a grip, but can be eaten in the form of a stew. The stew is quite tasty, but if you eat it, you can expect to bounce and laugh for the next several days.

The augerino, a large corkscrew-shaped worm, burrows underneath the dry lands of the American southwest. It intensely dislikes water and therefore aggressively attacks watercourses, draining the water out of irrigation ditches and canals. Quite a nuisance to humans.