This isn't one of our more scholary threads, but I was intrigued when someone here at my conference asked if I wanted to get some retail therapy with her. After a double-take, I realize she meant shopping. I thought this was just a phrase she had made up, but it's in Wikipedia, and amazingly it's in the OED, though it is labelled as "humorous." Here is that cite:
quote:
retail therapy n. orig. U.S. (humorous) the practice or an instance of shopping to cheer oneself up; shopping regarded as a leisure activity.
1986 Chicago Tribune (Nexis) 24 Dec. 2 We've become a nation measuring out our lives in shopping bags and nursing our psychic ills through *retail therapy. 1998 Cosmopolitan (U.K. ed.) Aug. 249/2 (caption) Stop for a reviving cafe au lait or glass of wine (or both!) at Place de General de Gaulle, before setting off for more retail therapy. 2001 Mirror (Electronic ed.) 2 Jan., She can rely on retail therapy for some relaxation. And..she won't have to struggle home on the bus with all her shopping.
It has over 880,000 cites on Google. It must be real. Have you heard of it?
I can't stand going shopping myself - most of my Christmas presents are bought on Christmas Eve, for example - but I know many people (mainly women) look upon it as a form of relaxation, so I understand the phrase.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
If it's that common, you'd think I'd have heard it before. The lady who told me about it had just heard it herself from a patient who had been very ill for several weeks. When this patient was finally discharged from the hospital, she couldn't wait to get home and get some "retail therapy."
I can't stand going shopping myself - most of my Christmas presents are bought on Christmas Eve
I would go even further than Arnie; I think shopping is the most foul, time-wasting and truly horrid activity ever devised. If someone were to start a company that would, on payment of an appropriate amount, take care of all my shopping (especially that for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas [doubly so for Christmas)] and other such occasions) then I would be an early customer.
I find it quite incomprehensible that some people (mainly women, it seems to me) actually seek out opportunities to go shopping when they could be doing something really important and creative (like going to the pub, for example).
Richard English
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UK
I am one woman who doesn't enjoy shopping, unless it is one of those quaint little shopping districts in some historic town and I am on vacation. That is why I do as much of my birthday, Christmas, wedding, etc., shopping as possible online.
My sister enjoys shopping, though, and first used the phrase "retail therapy" in a conversation with me four or five years ago. As she lives in NZ, maybe it's a phrase that's caught on more in commonwealth nations. WM
Posts: 1390 | Location: Near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
word, intresting you should say that because like Richard, arnie, and Bob I have always thanked the Creator for having made shopping a kind of recreation for many if not most of the feminine gender as I too cordially hate the practice
I'm neutral on shopping, tending more to the liking it side than the hating it side. It really depends on what I'm shopping for, I suppose. Food and drink is top of the list, I'd say. I've always enjoyed going to the grocery store, starting when I was quite small. These days I look forward to visiting a nice open air farmers' market and bringing home some delicious fruits, vegetables, etc. Books, DVDs, and CDs are fun to browse through, but I tend to buy most of my media through the web. (That's still shopping in my opinion.) Mrs Zmjezhd and I have enjoyed shopping together since our first dating days up until our soon-to-be 20th wedding anniversary. It's a good way to discuss what's happened during the workday, and it's fun to decide what to get for dinner. Shopping for clothing is OK, because I tend to get in and get out quick. Then I go watch people, drink a cup of coffee, or wander about aimlessly checking out shops I've never been to. Hardware stores and other kinds of specialty shops have always been fun. I especially like to shop in foreign countries or cities here in the States where I've never been ...
The funny thing is, I'd never noticed this aversion (seemingly greater amongst the UK contingent here) to shopping which seems predicating on revisiting hoary stereotypes of the "fundamental" differences between men and women. (I've known people, both men and women, who hate shopping, but I'd never noticed before a need to rationalize it along gender lines.) It's right up there with girls are more details oriented and boys see the bigger picture, women use more words than are necessary per day than men do, and other such pop psych nonsense with which one is bombarded seemingly daily on the Web and in real life. It seems to me quaintly old-fashioned in a rotary dial, 78 RPM, CRT TV way. Sort of like consciously modeling one's life on Andy Capp or the Lockhorns (two ancient newspaper comics). Since my college years I've enjoyed co-ed socializing more than solitary or unisex drinking.
I go shopping to buy things I need, and the less times it takes, the better. Many women of my aquaintance go shopping for enjoyment - they might not even buy anything in the end - it's the comparing and selection process that they enjoy.
It might be pop psychology but it is the belief that the shopping experience is generally quite different between men and women is shared by, and used as part of their business model, by many (maybe all) retailers.
I recall a TV item where a senior strategist for a major supermarket group said, "Never forget, the shopping experience is quite different between men and women".
I am sure that there have been many studies on this and this one http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-10898677_ITM has some interesting references. Their summary seems to imply that the differences are a myth - but on fuller reading I am not sure (although I have not checked all the references) that this summary is correct. Many of the references cited seem to suggest that there are significant differences.
I am sure a poll on this site would tell us what the views are of our disparate group.This message has been edited. Last edited by: Richard English,
Richard English
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UK
I would have thought you'd have heard it on your favorite TV show, Friends!
Well, it's not my favorite TV show, though I do like it. I apparently didn't see the show that you refer to. In all fairness to my never having heard the phrase, there were several of us at a nursing conference who hadn't heard it. Apparently it has come up recently in rehabilitative nursing.
Yes, Arnie, I remembered that thread. It was fun!
I really enjoyed Zmj's description of shopping, and it shows how shopping isn't merely going to the mall and buying clothing, which is how most of you seem to be defining it. In fact, it seems that Bob does enjoy shopping ("Except for shopping for books, DVDs or music, of course!")...that's truly shopping. One of my favorite shopping expeditions is to shop for books. From my experiences with CW, she enjoys it, too. Richard, surely you love shopping for beer.
I also think the woman/man shopping differences are a bit overplayed, but I suppose that's my opinion based on a rather limited life experience.
It depends how you define shopping. To me the expression means going from place to place, comparing prices and values, making judgements about which is the most suitable as compared with other products in other shops or even towns. It might also involve, in some situations, bargaining to get the best price. That I do not do.
If I wish to buy beer I go to a shop - usually only one that I know has a decent range - and buy the brews I want and maybe some new brands I want to try. I pay the price asked and leave. That, to me, is buying things I need, not shopping.
Richard English
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UK
My point exactly. Now we are getting somewhere. You do enjoy shopping for beer. I recall our trip to the grocery store when you were here. To me that is shopping. I don't think shopping has to be
quote:
going from place to place, comparing prices and values, making judgements about which is the most suitable as compared with other products in other shops or even towns. It might also involve, in some situations, bargaining to get the best price.
I hate bargaining to get the best price too. Yet, I do enjoy shopping for certain things. I think most everyone does, though in different ways, of course. For instance, I bet CW loves to shop for yarn and like materials. That wouldn't interest me at all. See my point?
If shopping is simply going into a shop, selecting a product, paying for it and leaving - then I do go shopping. But I call it "buying" or "purchasing".
But I doubt that many of those who profess to enjoy shopping would agree that the simple act of purchasing is "shopping" in that word's fullest sense. Indeed, the expression "shopping around" describes an activity that might not even end with a purchase.
Richard English
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UK
Originally posted by Richard English: If shopping is simply going into a shop, selecting a product, paying for it and leaving - then I do go shopping. But I call it "buying" or "purchasing".
Really? So when you and the missus pop off to the supermarket for the weekly food run you tell people "we're just off buying or purchasing". You don't say "we're off to do the shopping"?
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
Really? So when you and the missus pop off to the supermarket for the weekly food run you tell people "we're just off buying or purchasing"
WE don't. That's Margaret's job. If I need to buy food I just go to the nearest place and buy it. If I were asked I would say something like, "I'm just going to the Co-op to get some beer" (or whatever the essential supplies happened to be).
Richard English
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UK
If shopping is simply going into a shop, selecting a product, paying for it and leaving
Oh, Richard, sometimes you can be a little pigheaded. You most definitely shopped in Sunset when we were looking for beers. No doubt in my mind. The goal of that visit was not to "select and purchase" but to shop around to see what they had.
I think it's becoming a matter of semantics. I sometimes don't understand why people (here especially) insist they don't like shopping.
I have to vote with the men this time. I have always found shopping completely enervating. All the visual distraction. All the noise. All the people. All the decisions!! Help! However I will agree with Kalleh that in very limited circumstances-- in my case, shopping for art supplies, or for antique illustrated children's books-- it's a luxury.
Posts: 2605 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!
You most definitely shopped in Sunset when we were looking for beers.
If Sunset was that supermarket we went into on the last day of my first visit I remember it well. I went into the shop, went to the beer section to see what they had, discovered they had nothing worth drinking and then, once you had bought what you wanted to buy, left. Had I not been with you I'd have walked straight out once I found there was no good beer.
Inevitably there must be some element of checking and selection in any purchasing activity, but that to me will be minimal and doesn't equate to "shopping" or "shopping around" to my mind. Its a nice distinction but an important one.
Richard English
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UK
Okay, all of you. Nobody here, but me (and z), shops. The rest of you "select and purchase." That must be the distinction.
I suspect the word "shopping" has a strong emotional attachment to it. Many men don't like to admit to shopping (remember, shopping can be of anything, from groceries and art supplies to books and beer) because it is thought of as feminine. Women, on the other hand, tend to think that shoppers are those frilly, girlie types who like to go to the mall and try on every piece of clothing in the entire place.
