I got the funniest note about one of my limericks on OEDILF. The workshopper made a suggestion for one of my lines, which he didn't think sounded quite right. However, he didn't think his suggestion sounded quite right either, so he said, "but it's less not quite right than the current line 1."
1. But, it's less "not quite right" than the current line.
2. But, it's better than the current line.
3. But, it's a cut above the current line.
I prefer the first sentence. It says exactly what its author intended to say. (I would've punctuated it as I have above, though.) The second sentence is not the same thing at all. (I know we've discussed double negatives as not quite being the same thing as positives before on board.) The third setnence is slightly better than the second one, but not very.
The first is rather similar in tone and style to Richard's quip of its being pointlessly convoluted, except I would say that it was purposefully convoluted. In other words, chillax, folks!
Oh, Arnie, how many times do you have to right on this board?
The fact is, I agree with Zmj. While, I admit, it is a bit convoluted, Alkahuna's comment was right on target. I just can't imagine saying it in a better way.
I have a problem with using 'better', which is the comparative of 'good'. The workshopper's view was that the limerick was not good in either version (though the later version was an improvement).
I would think what you'd want to say is "less awkward" or "less inaccurate", depending on whether the flaw is one of expression or one of content.
