I think this should be easy enough. I doubt that there can be much discussion on how to pronounce the word, anyway.

Although the area is now subsumed into Greater London, I was born in the county of Kent.

Let me have your limericks by PM please!

Now arnie I've already sent
You a limerick of your county, Kent.
I worked and I worked
(Became a bit irked!),
So if I don't win I'll lament! (Or perhaps you'll repent! )

Kidding of course, as I am sure you know.

I thought I'd give this one a try. I just sent Arnie my first PM.

I was unable to get onto the site at all yesterday. I'll take a look at this limerick maybe tomororow.

So far I've got two from jerry thomas, and one from each of Kalleh, bethree5, and Seanahan. Bob and Richard are still missing. Any more entries?

Mine should be with you now

I've now received three limericks from Bob and one from Richard. He's titled the PM "Limerick 1" so I infer there are more in the pipeline. Any more contributions?

Another now received from Richard. Last call! I'll post the results in the next couple of days (Deo Volente).

We're waiting with bated breath...

Well, now, it's been particularly difficult choosing a winner. As each PM came in, on reading the limericks I thought 'That one', then reread the earlier limericks and wasn't so sure any more. I won't have the temerity to criticise the entries; I'll just name the winner.

Kalleh's entry was:

There once was a woman from Kent
Who looked like she always was spent.
Her hair was a mess,
She'd huge spots on her dress;
Bromhidrosis pervaded her scent!

bethree5 sent in this:

To his teddibly Brit gihl from Kent
Who claimed “dahling I rihlly just ken’t
‘Amazing Grace’ thing
while thucking your thing,"
Jok cried : “ Darlin’, ’at’s pish an ye ken’t!”

Seanahan's effort was:

I once dated a young lass from Kent
So much money that night that I spent
My true love I proclaimed
But my heart she disdained
When she said to go off and get bent.

jerry thomas sent in two:

A perfume producer in Kent
Has a problem in paying his rent
His aromas, we're told,
Don't bring in enough gold
His formulas lack common scents.

and

A poet named Arnie, from Kent,
Is pleased, for his youth has been spent
In worthwhile enterprises
Without which, he surmises,
His get-up-n-go would have got up and went.

Two from Richard:

The organ of Charlie from Kent
Was curved, and it dexterously went.
Though with girls' genitalia
He could be a failure --
If theirs were of sinister bent.

and

A frustrated lady from Kent
Told her fellow, "Of course I consent!
Though it's perfectly true
That I said 'no' to you
You should have known that was not what I meant!"

BobHale submitted three:

There was a young lady of Kent
Who said "Should that really be bent?"
Said her beau, "Expertise,
Is what's certain to please –
To a greater or lesser extent.

There was a young fellow of Kent
Who whispered this mournful lament,
"I am deaf, dumb and blind
But somehow I still find
I can guide myself purely by scent."

Quite a lot of the people in Kent
Say their money is too quickly spent
But still, there are a few
Who can save a bit too,
A small but significant percent.

And the winner is ...

Richard for his frustrated lady from Kent effort!

Up you step, Richard, to take the prize and suggest another place name!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: arnie,

Well thank you, Arnie. I confess I myself preferred the dexterous man and his problems with those girls who had sinister genitalia! But each to his own.

So, continuing my ramble around Sussex, I will suggest the name of my nearest international airport, Shoreham (the oldest licensed airport in the UK, I am given to understand). http://www.shorehamairport.co.uk/default.asp

The airport, and its associated seaside resort, are both pronounced SHAW-rum.

SHAW-rum? Not SHORE-um? Would an American also say SHAW-rum? I'm just curious.

Shaw and shore are very close in UK English but when the word is used to form another word, as here, the distinction is unnoticeable.

I would imagine that the US inclination would be to pronounce the word as Shore-ham - but the "h" is always silent and the "a" barely sounded.

quote:

Originally posted by Richard English:
I myself preferred the dexterous man and his problems with those girls who had sinister genitalia!

An epitath: [I'm synthesizing several verions here, because I don't like anything I could find online.]

Here lies the body of Twisted Rick,
The only man with a corkscrew pri*ck.
All over the world he relentlessly hunted,
To find a gal who was spiral-c*nted.
He ended his search in far Glamorgan
When he found a girl with such an organ,
But the night they were married he fell down dead,
'Cause the love of his life had a left hand thread.

I confess I had heard this rhyme previously and it was my inspiration. But mine was my own creation.

It's a game anyway, Richard. This isn't the OEDILF. Even if it weren't your own creation, it would be fine.

How's about a new thread with Shoreham? I am probably going to use the American pronunciation.

New thread started.