ALPINE - 2004 election
POSTSCRIPT - afflicted with side effects
STELLAR - Kowalski (played by a New Englander)'s plaintive cry
PEDIGREE - if the shoe fits...
RENOVATION - applause for a small bird

begetting: establishing a blighted urban area
realign: a procession of small ostrich-like birds

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:

RENOVATION - applause for a small bird

Or the Wren laid an egg

SINCLAIR - there's a snake living in the drainpipe...

homo erectus: a horny gay male

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:
SINCLAIR - there's a snake living in the drainpipe...

Or an obvious error in France

AGGRAVATE - the New York tourist group is growing impatient standing in line for their turn to get into the Taj Mahal

MUMBAI Where the Indian flower peddlers live - or is it what your mother does with her credit card?

EXCRETE When a cretin leaves home

EXCRETE is also a former Greek island resident.

SEVERAL - pertaining to a well-known Potions Master

MICROSOFT Why there is Viagra

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
MICROSOFT Why there is Viagra

That's a tired one...

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:MICROSOFT Why there is Viagra That's a tired one...

Hardly worth mentioning

Oh? I'd not seen/heard it. I guess I lead a sheltered life.

quote:

Hardly worth mentioning

That was my idea of a pun "hardly"

So does "flaccid" mean a weak acid?

No, no, acid-treated linen!

I'm glad you aren't ambivalent about which table cloths to use. No flaxuating, unless you're in Hempstead, where the tablecloths might make you act funny.

concoct: a prison rape

CAULIFLOWER - what grows by Lassie's tombstone

Old King Cole: Nat's father
infidel: A deviant Cuban sex act

ELECTRONIC - dismay at Reagan's successful bid for the Presidency (may be updated for modern politics, if you dare)

RUMP What drinking rum makes you do

DUMBELL A not very bright old unit of measurement

barbell: what Ken rings to summon his girlfriend

BARRIER - where the good liquor is kept

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
barbell: what Ken rings to summon his girlfriend

Ken is apparently not Jewish or he'd use a batbell.

Finitions

Technic ally, this is not a "redefinition" post. I came across this unusual dictionary. Before you visit it, be warned -- it is not PG.

REDEFINITION - like this one (that's pronounced "red e-finition") (paraphrasing Geoff above)

SOMALI Ever-so-Timbuktu-ish

GABON Country for long-winded people. (We should send all the politicians there!)

Kenya: No, I can not.
Zimbabwe describes Zimbab's urination.

OUAGADOUGOU - Don't you wave your pet's droppings at me!

BURKINA FASO - a small opening in which your Muslim wife hangs her outer garment

Upper Volta Where West Africa's electricity is generated.

CHAD Where Dubya went when he heard they were hanging.

badminton: the reason coins are rejected

INTERACTION - giving odds on the next funeral

Interpol: survey for the dead
interment: funeral candy

ET IN TERRA PAX - "...and they buried the plague victim"

quote:

IN TERRA PAX

Fear of IKEA products.

INTERACT - bury the whole show

Hey all! Love this game, let's get it going again.

OK this one's like shooting fish in a barrel... because the corresponding English word derives from French 'se tromper' (to make a mistake) with connotations of wrong, cheat, even snake-oil salesmen, who would blow a trumpet to attract passersby to their wares

TRUMPETS Donald's offspring
STRUMPET Donald's wife

...of course, "trumped up" and "trumpery" don't even need a joke!

public dump: defecating in the street

I thought of this after reading about the TV reporter who needed relief during a shoot. So he walked into a nearby yard, dropped his drawers and had at it. He got arrested for public defecation. Had he rung the doorbell of the house, the owner said she would have let him use her toilet.

impasta: a fake noodle

pedophile: someone who's into sexy babies

bison: what an American buffalo mother says to her calf as he leaves for school

What is large, gray, and doesn"t matter? An irrelephant.

What is large, gray and cools your house? An
elephan.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

translate: Caitlyn's pregnant?

tsardines; Nicholas II's favorite food.

trump: to win by playing a card from the trump (higher value) suit, but now colloquially also to win by having more money

overtrump: to win by playing a higher value card from the trump (higher value) suit, but now colloquially also to win by having more money than Donald

undertrump: to play a lower value card from the trump (higher value) suit than one already played, but now colloquially also to compete against Donald knowing you can't win because he has more money, but you play the game anyway because it's good for PR and you have got so much money anyway, you don't really care if he beats you or not

no trumps: a game in which there is no higher value suit, or now colloquially a game in which you don't have to compete with Donald

trumpet: as a verb, to proclaim widely or loudly, or now colloquially to sing your own praises as widely and loudly as Donald does

trumpery: the ritual foolery displayed by Donald

All of you who live outside the U.S. must think we are crazy. While you know Trump (how could you help it?), you likely don't even know much about Bernie Sanders, the socialist who is giving Hillary Clinton a run for her money. Oy vey.

Oy vey? So he might say - he's Jewish, after all. He downplays it, though. So, no matter who wins it'll be a first: A woman, a psychopath, a sociopath, or a Jew.

I have a Bernie sticker on my car's bumper - in the middle of a county full of christian rednecks!

PSYCHOPATH: The road around Washington, D.C.