Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply |
Member |
CJ wrote this delightful limerick that is one of my favorites: Much more than the sound of a schwa, But not as robust as "Aha!" This word is used best At the sight of a breast When you look, give a smile, and say "...ahhhhh!" However, in his author's note he posted this limerick from the woman's perspective: Much more than the sound of a schwa But not as robust as "Aha!" Like a guy with no gut And a beautiful butt, When you look, lick your lips, and say "...ahhhhh!" The woman's is so much tamer than the man's, and I'd like for a real woman to write one that's a little off-color. Any suggestions? I haven't come up with one, but I am trying! | ||
|
Member |
How about this: Much more than the sound of a schwa But not as robust as "Aha!" As at the conclusion Of sexual fusion When you mutually gaze and say "ahhh". Richard English | |||
|
Member |
Well, I like it, but I should have been more specific. I really think it should be written by a woman since it is to be the female perspective. I think what I don't like about CJ's limerick is that instead of writing about a sexy aspect of a man, he writes about a negative-made-positive aspect of a man ("guy with no gut"). That's not sexy. I have been thinking about it. How about: Much more than the sound of a schwa But not as robust as "Aha!" Like a guy who is fit, With an ass like Brad Pitt, When you look, lick your lips, and say "...ahhhhh!" The fact is, I don't much like Brad Pitt...he is to much of a pretty boy to me. But many women love him. A woman likes a great ass, and they don't call it a "butt."This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh, | |||
|
Member |
So why can't a man try to write from a woman's perspective or, as is the case here, from a couple's perspective? Or do you not agree with me that sex is much more fun when there's someone else involved ;-) Richard English | |||
|
Member |
You were specific. You said, "I'd like for a real woman to write one that's a little off-color." That's why I was surprised to see Richard answering it. Or maybe there's something he's not telling us. Tinman | |||
|
Member |
how bawdy do you wish it to be? Is this to demonstrate a particular word? Which one? ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Member |
Richard, CJ wrote the breast limerick, obviously from a man's perspective; he then wrote another from a woman's perspective. How does he know a woman's perspective (unless the brain in the jar has an 2 X chromosomes ). His female perspective limerick certainly didn't do it for me. CW, this particular limerick will remain behind a curtain, meaning that there is a firewall (not sure that's the right term) to protect it from kids' eyes. Therefore, I suppose it could be very bawdy, though I haven't seen too many really bawdy ones there so I don't know. I had thought about the word "hung," but it doesn't rhyme with very sexy words (stung, dung, lung, etc.) Gimme whatcha got, and I'll try! Oh...the word that CJ's defining is "ahhhh." | |||
|
Member |
I realise that - but I suspected there would be few entries unless someone started things off (and so far I have been proven correct). Incidentally, until I becaame involved with the OEDILF project I'd have said that limericks were the preserve of men. However, there are some very good women limerick writers on OEDILF and I therefore stand corrected. It remains to be seen how many there are on Wordcraft. Richard English | |||
|
Member |
It most definitely is . . . He may be as old as your Pa . . . and inclined just to fondle and paw but if he is fit and can handle your clit, you are likely to finally say "...ahhhhh!" Or maybe this? He may be as old as your Pa . . . and say things that will stick in your craw but if he is hot and can find your g-spot, you are likely to finally say "...ahhhhh!" No doubt there are problems with these, grammatically and so on, but maybe they will get you started? ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Member |
Scorching, CW! | |||
|
Member |
Hmmmm, scorching for sure. And they need a little workshopping...but maybe... Thanks, CW. I knew you'd come through! | |||
|
Member |
Grammatically suspect but sexually perfect Richard English | |||
|
Member |
I think I'll put that in my profile from now on! ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Member |
Don't even listen to him, CW. Limericks were never meant to be in complete sentences, and most limerick experts agree on that. Besides that, your grammar is fine anyway. Your meter also can work, though I tend to stress the "say" in line 2 of the second limerick. My biggest suggestion would be with the rhymes. In the first limerick, "Pa" and "ahhhh" rhyme to me, but I say "paw" more like the vowels in "ought." Also, you would need to move the "and" in line 3 to line 4. With the second limerick, similarly you'd need to remove the "and" from line 1 and put it at the beginning of line 2. Also, to me "pa" and "ahhhh" rhyme in the second limerick, but "craw," again, I say more like the vowels in "ought." They may rhyme for others, though. See how fiddly we can get? People who aren't used to it can take the workshopping too negatively. It's just meant for quality improvement and in most cases the workshopping greatly improves the limericks. I have seen a few (one of mine, in fact) that have miserably declined because of workshopping, however. | |||
|
Member |
Thanks, Kalleh - I'm fine with this, actually. I think I'd prefer sexual perfection over grammatical perfection, given the choice. Honestly, it's a fair representation of my outlook on life! I don't bother much with following grammatical rules - particularly in this sort of situation where it is meant to be humorous or casual. I'm still thinking about the rhyme issue - it might take a while for me to resolve it. ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Member |
Hmm ... just how old is your husband, anyhow, CW? Tinman | |||
|
Member |
LOL - he's about 8 years older than me . . .but it's just a poem. It's not autobiographical, necessarily. ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Member |
Damn cheek! Richard English | |||
|
Member |
Damn cheek? Not sure what you mean. When writing our lim'ricks we try To write so creatively by Our rhymes and our meter, Though grammar may peter Cuz standards are really so high! There's humor, too! | |||
|
Member |
Ask any UK English speaker. Richard English | |||
|
Member |
Incidentally, is there a difference in meaning (or sound) between the word "aaah" and the word "ahhh"? Richard English | |||
|
Member |
The difference ‘tween ‘aaah’ and ‘ahhh’ Is truly and madly bizarre. A question ridiculous, Childish and frivolous, Why don’t you ask your Papa? | |||
|
Member |
Sadly, without the intervention of a Medium, I can no longer speak to him :-( But, thinking about it, I believe that the former is likely to be a sound of understanding or revelation, whereas the latter is more a sound of pleasure or contentment. Richard English | |||
|
Member |
So Pearce, as a "UK English speaker," what did Richard mean by "damn cheek"...since he wouldn't tell me? | |||
|
Member |
Cheek means 'impertience' in that context. (And stop calling me, Pearce. —Ceci n'est pas un seing. | |||
|
Member |
Indeed it does. However the meaning of saying "Damn cheek" to someone, like anything else is really context dependent. You might mean "you are an arrogant jerk and have no right to say that to me" or you might mean "because I like you I'll let you get away with that" or you might even mean "I know you are right but you'll never get me to admit it". All depends on who you are talking to and the situation. Looking at the context here I'd say it means "that might be considered impudence by some but as you're my friend I'll treat it as the off the cuff humourous remark I'm sure you intended it to be. Don't let it happen again. " Isn't English a nice concise language at times? "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
|
Member |
If not impertinence. {the real Pearce} | |||
|
Member |
RE. Sorry you took my feeble rhyme literally. Incidentally, Conan Doyle used Media to good effect, or at least he thought so. Personally, I'd steer clear. | |||
|
Member |
However the meaning of saying "Damn cheek" to someone, like anything else is really context dependent. When I came out of the other end of the linguistics sausage machine at university, this is what I was left with: 1. "Meaning is neither in words nor in people, but somewhere in between." 2. "The meaning of all words is context sensitive." Not terrible original or brilliant, but I considered it worth the price of admission. —Ceci n'est pas un seing. | |||
|
Member |
As someone else is paying for my course, I too consider this to be worth the price of admission. "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
|
Member |
Another way of writing "damn cheek" is "harrumph!". Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. | |||
|
Member |
Well, I hope Richard didn't mean that! Sorry, Richard! | |||
|
Member |
Is not the plural of Medium (in this sense) Mediums? As my father died some 12 years ago I now longer mourn him - though I still miss him, of course. But your posting did not offend me in any way, so please don't concern yourself. Richard English | |||
|
Member |
That's pretty near to my comment's meaning, which, as has been amply demonstrated by the sagacious comments here, is very context-driven. Richard English | |||
|
Member |
I like the phrase "damn cheek" and laughed when I read it. I assumed it was a light-hearted ribbing. I have a friend who will sometimes call me a "cheeky mare". Does this have the same set of mixed messages? I never realized that "damn cheek" could be actually anger-driven. Is that common? Maybe I've watered it down in my own head because of the quaintness of British phrases. ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Member |
CW. Before I take offence on behalf of all good Brits, what do you mean by quaint? | |||
|
Member |
Cheeky mare! Calling our phrases quaint! Damn cheek! Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. | |||
|
Member |
[QUOTE] Glad you agree Arnie. Thanks for taking offence on my account! | |||
|
Member |
hehehe I figured that would get a rise out of you. <smiling broadly> Hmm . . . by quaint I mean . . . charming, interesting, classy, unusual, and a bit colorful. Oh yea, and eminently sexy, of course. ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Member |
Funny that, CW. I seem to remember an unusually explicit limerick you wrote. Obsexed? | |||
|
Member |
Other nations have sex; in England we have hot-water bottles. (How to be an alien, George Mikes) Richard English | |||
|
Member |
Yes, but she was rising to a challenge to write a bawdy limerick. Normally she is the most reserved librarian you can imagine. (NOT!!!!) | |||
|
Member |
Originally posted by pearce: The difference ‘tween ‘aaah’ and ‘ahhh’ Is truly and madly bizarre. A question ridiculous, Childish and frivolous, Why don’t you ask your Papa?
Who committed a dreadful faux pas. She loosened a stay Of her décolleté, Thus exposing her je ne sais quoi. | |||
|
Member |
Probably.
Both are probably reasons Kalleh thought asking for a woman to write a bawdy limerick would yeild some results.
LOL - pity, that. ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Member |
There's ahhhhh and there's aaaaah. What's the dif? I'd say ahhhhh is appropriate if I am watching a slow Sultry striptease, although I'd use aaaaah!! if I fell off a cliff. | |||
|
Member |
I think Chris captured it perfectly: "ahhhh" is a (contented) sigh -- emphasis on the back of the throat guttural -- whereas "aaaah" is a (desperate) yell -- emphasis on volume in the front vowel "a". D | |||
|
Member |
This one is not very bawdy and not original, but ... A woman, athletic and handsome, Got caught in a sleeping-room transom. When she offered much gold For release, she was told That the view was worth more than the ransom. These are original ... certainly not bawdy .. FWIW ... For to deed the past is not dead And the past of to read is not red Grammarians who find us Often serve to remind us That the past tense of to lead is led The past tense of to heed is not head And some leading pipes are of lead Are we thinking metallicly? Should we write it Italicly? The past of to lead is ... led | |||
|
Member |
Yes, I think you are right, Froesch. That's why I had loved CJ's original "ahhhh" limerick. However, then it got all complicated because of women objecting. I finally signed off on the whole workshop. Nice, Jer, and thanks for the reminder on "led." | |||
|
Member |
Oh well, guess my limerick wasn't what you were looking for. LOL Didn't think it would be. No harm done. ******* "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama | |||
|
Powered by Social Strata | Page 1 2 3 4 |
Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |