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I always like Chicago Tribune's Mary Schmich's poems. Here is her latest on Donald: Small Favors And once again I’m flogged and flayed By ranters, runts and ravers By losers who go loco When I ask for little favors. OK, I had a phone call with The leader of Ukraine (A country that tried very hard To poison my campaign.) I asked that guy — their president — To check into young Biden An evil man, just like his dad Let’s see what rot they’re hidin’. A simple favor, very small There was no quid pro quo (Not fair to count withholding stuff, Like piles of U.S. dough.) A friendly call! A perfect call! And perfectly routine Yet never in our history Have there been attacks so mean! Some whistleblower made a stink With rumors — second-hand! — About my interference With elections in our land. Well, I’m not scared of tattletales Or teensy-weensy whistles And let me just remind you, folks, I’ve got some giant missiles. I’m the leader! I’m the king! Ask Rudy — he’s my jester — He always says the just-right thing To make the country fester. See, festering’s my strategy I keep my people mad I keep my people so confused They can’t tell good from bad. My tax evasion, sex assaults Attacks on civil rights? Hey, nothing sticks to me, my friends I thrive on feuds and fights. I always get away with things! There’s no end to my reach! And Democrats are gonna lose Their battle to impeach. That’s I-M-P-E-A-C-H Who says that I can’t spell? But even though I’ll beat this thing It makes me mad as hell. Pelosi and her pals are nuts They’re liars and they’re zealous They can’t believe my great success! They’re mean because they’re jealous. Impeaching me’s a joke, a scam I’m being so harassed You’d think I’m worse than Tricky Dick A villain from the past. You’d think I’m worse than Clinton, too — I’m talking nasty Hill — I hear her email’s in Ukraine Now that should send a chill! So do me a small favor, folks, Keep focused on her mail Keep chanting we should lock her up That SHE should go to jail. Impeach your greatest president? Ridiculous! Not fair! To quote that Swedish Greta girl: I don’t know how they dare! How dare they call me treasonous? How dare they call me fool? How dare they say that I’m not fit To govern, nay, to rule? (Folks say I mocked that happy girl That climate-crazy Swede But hat I said was super-nice — Just check my Twitter feed.) Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. Pelosi’s crying “cover-up” And Liddle Adam’s lying The lefties in their crumbling House Are failing though they’re trying. I MEAN THEY’RE TRYIN’ TO KILL US, FOLKS! TO KILL THE GOP! WE’VE GOT TO STICK TOGETHER NOW TO SAVE AND HONOR ME! BY “ME” I MEAN OUR COUNTRY! THIS IS NO TIME TO BE SAPS! YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS SERIOUS — I’M TYPING IN ALL CAPS! Some say my fall is overdue While others call it tragic But let me guarantee you, folks, I’ll work my special magic. I’ll do just what I’ve done before Make chaos grow like weeds And when the next election comes You’ll satisfy my needs. Just do me a small favor, folks, Do not believe fake news Do not believe the Dems who say They’re tightening the screws. It’s Biden who’s the villain here He’s unfit for my job Yes, he’s the one who should be flayed And strung up by the mob. Remember I’m your leader I’ll protect you from what’s foreign! But hold on — did I hear you say … My real opponent’s Warren? mschmich@chicagotribune.com | ||
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I do wonder who his "real" opponent will be - and then what dirt he'll dig up. I suspect it will not be Biden. | |||
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Wow, Schmich covered a lot of bases in those quatrains! Here's my double-dactyl version: Rumpuster, rumpuster Donald J Trumpister Fires off a tweetstorm Behind which he’s hidin.’ Bribes prez Ukrainian Missiles he’s tradin’ ‘em! (Sub-parenthetically Whispers, “Get Biden.”) | |||
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Mary Schmich really should be on WC. She loves writing poems. While cleaning out my drawer at work, I found this DD I wrote at a conference a few years ago. It must have been related to a case study were were doing (hint: a handoff is the report you give before you leave your shift): Higglety Pigglety Doctor Veronica Needs to get home so her Hand-off is bad. Cardiologically, Edith's forgotten. The System is failing us This is so sad. The patient must have had a cardiac event related to a bad report the nurse coming on was given. Or something. | |||
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