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Picture of bethree5
posted
1. A nubile lass in Topeka
Found menfolk all eager to seka.
They gather en masse
For a sight of this lass,
Since unclothed she finds joy as a streka.

2.I once knew a beautiful chica
Who hailed from the town of Topeka
Though she was illegal
Her “assets” were regal
Though penniless she was ¡muy rica!

3. An Italian went off to Topeka
To find-a a new bella fica*
And he found a real dish
At her job selling fish
And he said, "Signorina, you reek-a!"_________
*Italian slang for beautiful female bits - from figa, fig

4. An inventa who lives in Topeka
Says "I'm fighting your viruses Zika.
I'll brew kava Kuerika
From Costa that's Rica
And maybe I'll get what I seeka!"

5. The tall corn-fed gals in Topeka
Can leave a short guy feeling meeka
I'd ask for a date
But I look like shrimp bait
My odds in Topeka are bleaka

6. A hippie who lived in Yreka
Once traveled back east to Topeka
When he lauded John Brown
All the rednecks did frown
And stuffed his bum full of paprika.

7. When I met them, I just yelled, "Eureka!",
The five sister Spice Girls of Topeka -
There's Pepper, Paella,
And Ginger, Nigella,
But the hottest of all is Paprika.

8. Rosita went off to Topeka
Eduardo went up to Goleta
But The Trumpster's big mouth
Ordered both of them south
To the Mexican town, Costa Chica

9. There once was a chef in Topeka,
Who hollered out loudly, "Eureka!"
"This recipe's great;
I'll serve it at 8:00!"
(Though - mistaking cayenne for paprika!)

10. There once was a girl named Fredricka
Who wanted to go with Enrica
To the south of France
She told her, “No chance!
All I can afford is Topeka!”

11. Some folks claim there's gold in Topeka,
That it's older and even antiqu-a
Than stuff found on Pike's Peak
Though we've heard not a shriek
Of "It's gold and it's mine! Yay, Eureka!"

12.They’ll serve you hummus in a pita
At a café in Topeka
If brave, you can try
Hash potato pie
Filled with onions and paprika

Question:
Please vote for your favorite

Choices:
one
two
three
four
five
six
seven
eight
nine
ten
eleven
twelve

 
 
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Picture of Greg S
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I have cast the 1st Vote, and voted for No. 3. Had to check out that "fica" really did mean what the author suggested and according to my research it did, although more simply put fica = pussy.

Don't know if it was deliberate or accidental, but either way, I love the fact that the last 3 words are a homophone of "Eureka".

You eked out some pretty good ones there Bethree, considering how limiting the A-rhyme was.


Regards Greg
 
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I've now cast a vote, having given up on anyone showing up at the chat.

Although I didn't vote for # 10, I would have had lines 4 and 5 worked together.

Few people know who John Brown was, so I doubt #6 will make sense to anyone who doesn't know US history.

Gotta agree with Greg - good ones all! Well worth the wait!
 
Posts: 5609 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
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I just voted for the first time. Yay! There were some really good ones. I voted for 8 though. It made me laugh!
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Geoff:
I've now cast a vote, having given up on anyone showing up at the chat.

Although I didn't vote for # 10, I would have had lines 4 and 5 worked together.

Few people know who John Brown was, so I doubt #6 will make sense to anyone who doesn't know US history.

Gotta agree with Greg - good ones all! Well worth the wait!


I don't live that far from Harpers Ferry. So I know the history of John Brown Smile

This message has been edited. Last edited by: sattva,
 
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quote:
Originally posted by sattva:
I just voted for the first time. Yay! There were some really good ones. I voted for 8 though. It made me laugh!
Sattva, you've fallen victim to the same trap I often fall into. I can't figure out whether the number goes with the check box above or below the line. It appears that you've voted for seven, not eight. I'm sure the writer of #7 won't mind, though! Smile

BTW, in all her confusion betree5 omitted one of my submissions. Oh, well... Roll Eyes
 
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I am really confused now. To me, it looks now like I voted for #9 hmmm
 
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I voted for #9, and since it only has one vote, I assume it's mine. This system IS bewildering to me! Anyhow, can an administrator do something to get this straightened out? If not, no biggie, since we don't have any money on the winners! Big Grin

As for why I voted for #9, it gave me a visual image of the poor fellow who ordered the food. OYWWWWW!

Geoff the bewildered
 
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<Proofreader>
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Whatever number you voted for, the result has it under the number instead of next t it.
 
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As ever I am utterly baffled by this "I don't understand the system" stuff. How it looks on the RESULTS is irrelevant. When you VOTE the numbers are listed with a check box RIGHT BY THE SIDE OF THEM. The one you checked is the one you voted for. You cannot possibly get it wrong.

I say again how it looks on the result may cause confusion for about two seconds but how does that matter? By the time you can see that, you have voted and the VOTING procedure is perfectly straight-forward.

Perhaps this is how we account for the rise of a certain Republican nominee. No one understood the voting system.

At the moment number five has two votes and numbers three, seven and nine have one each. To get that people have checked the boxes RIGHT NEXT to each of three, seven an nine and two people have checked the box RIGHT NEXT to five.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 8752 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
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I probably should have put my reading glasses on first!
 
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Picture of BobHale
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It's not you. We have this discussion over and over again. How, exactly, does anyone find this confusing?



"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
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I am with Bob. Voting is totally non-confusing. Only the results look a little confusing, but it doesn't take more than a few seconds observation, to realise the bar-graph sits above the Vote it belongs to. In fact you only have to look at the first one or the last one to work that out.

On another matter when I voted for #3 I didn't realise that the word "a" was repeated in line 2, as in "find-a a new ...". I assume of course it was just a typo. My only reason for mentioning it is that I think it is amazing how the mind can read straight past such things and instantly see what was meant, without even noticing the repeated typo.


Regards Greg
 
Posts: 991 | Location: Melbourne AustraliaReply With QuoteReport This Post
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The more I think of it, the more I think it is a cursor thing. Sometimes, mine seems to have a mind of its own. I probably just got the wrong circle. As for the result part, I can see now how it works. I think also a lot comes down to the fact that I am not a detail-oriented person. I never even caught that extra "a" that Greg S. noticed. I think if I vote again, I will be more careful. I already know how the results are displayed. So that shouldn't be a problem either. Sorry!
 
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Interesting. I saw the additional a in 3, and concluded not that it was a typo but rather that an additional syllable had been placed deliberately to make the line scan properly. Don't fault yourself over that one.

The confusion in the Poll display comes not in the Voting screen but in the Results. Which entry got how many votes is presented as one, two, three, etc, BELOW the bar representing the votes. Intuitively we expect the number to be to the left of the bar, or above it, and we tend to misidentify which goes with which.
 
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Picture of BobHale
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quote:
Originally posted by haberdasher:


The confusion in the Poll display comes not in the Voting screen but in the Results. Which entry got how many votes is presented as one, two, three, etc, BELOW the bar representing the votes. Intuitively we expect the number to be to the left of the bar, or above it, and we tend to misidentify which goes with which.


Which affects the voting how? People always say that they didn't intend to vote for the one they voted for. I fail to see how that's actually possible.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
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I move for a recount using paper ballots. If it's good enough for Florida, it's good enough for me.
 
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I am trying to remember why I joined this forum. Let's see, a little fun, a little brain activity, a pleasant atmosphere. Hmmm, rethinking.
 
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Don't leave, please!!! I should have kept my mouth shut.

You DID have some fun writing a limerick, didn't you?

Yes, Bob, you are correct. I'm an imbecile.
 
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It's all just banter between friends


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
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Picture of Greg S
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quote:
It's all just banter between friends

Absolutely agree. We have only a few contributors here, from various locales around the world, and the last thing any of us would want to do, is disenfranchise a rare newcomer?

Perhaps we say the odd thing or two, now and then, that could cause someone offence, but if we do, we really don't mean to. It is perhaps just because we have become familiar with each other over the years and feel we can "have a crack" at someone, because we know it will be like water off a duck's back to them, but what we fail to take into account when we do that, is that a 3rd-Party observing that might not see it that way, and decide they don't want to be part of it.

So sattva, as Geoff said, "Don't leave, Please!!!"


Regards Greg
 
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Thanks everyone! I am obviously overly sensitive right now. I will try to just relax and enjoy getting to know you all.
Kind regards,
sattva
 
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Oh, good! I sent you a PM. We are a good group here, and I think you can see that we love toying around with limericks. Wink
 
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Picture of bethree5
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Sattva I have had that aggravating cursor issue ever since my new Acer laptop. I am depressingly lo-tech & hi-tech hubby too work-worn to help. Luckily I was visiting gadget-friendly sis last year: she whipped out an extra cordless mouse & gave it to me-- presto! Added benefit: now that I'm back to a mouse for 1st time in yrs, no more wrist & finger pain.

Sorry if we sometimes sound cranky, we're just idiosycratic. Im surprised I didn't get a severe spanking-- Geoff, I missed one?! Yikes! Would you be so dear as to issue it post hoc?

May we have some more votes pretty please? Kalleh, can you get Shu to vote? Arnie how about you?
 
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Sure, I'll try. I wish Shu would send in more limericks. He is really talented.
 
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I submitted the last one too late, I suspect. It wasn't much good, and, given that #5's lead is unassailable, let's just do the revealing of who wrought what!

A severe spanking??? I had no idea you were into that sort of stuff! Eek
 
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It wasn't too late Geoff, I jusr missed it in my packing rush & then it got buried by the usual daily crush of email spam. Luckily I caught sattva's later.

Here is the missing limerick from Geoff:

A horny Brazilian, Rosita,
Feared she had come down with Zika
So she bought lots of rubbers
Then heard anguished blubbers
From hombres from home to Topeka

I like it!

Will publish details when I get my laptop set up-- now that Im unpacked.
 
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Originally posted by Kalleh:
Sure, I'll try. I wish Shu would send in more limericks. He is really talented.


Amen!!
 
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Picture of Greg S
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A horny Brazilian, Rosita,

If it had been in the game, and her name was Marika, so it properly rhymed with Topeka, I may have voted for it. Why didn't more of us think of Zika as a rhyme - nice one.

But it has given me an idea:

A U.S athlete named Marika
So feared that she might catch the Zika,
That she forewent her dream
And did not join the team
In Rio, and stayed in Topeka.


Regards Greg
 
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Here are the stats, folks:

#5, the corn-fed gals, got 3 votes – that was by yours truly. I regret that I cannot accept tra la tra la I’m on vacation doncha know.

Runners-up with 1 vote each: #3, Geoff’s fishmongering fica. #6 another by Geoff, the hippie from Yreka. #9, Kalleh’s bumbling chef from Topeka.

Others, providing perhaps gasps of awe or appreciative chuckles or snide snickers— but no votes: #1, Proofreader’s nubile streaker. #2, bethree’s illegal chica. #4, Haberdasher’s inventive recipe for Zika. #7, Greg’s homage to the Spice Girls. #8, Geoff slams the Trumpster. #10 by newbie sattva, Fredricka’s cheap vacation. #11, Proof seeks gold in them thar Topeka. #12, sattva’s lim makes me hungry! Gimme somma dat!

Well sattva you’re off to a great start. I would suggest only tightening up the metre, & -- optionally—never hurts to be a tad racy or off-color.

To whom shall I pass the baton for naming our next location? Geoff & Kalleh, please duke it out.
 
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Ahh - my No. 7 got a vote too by the way? But since Geoff had 2 runners-up and another potential vote winner that never got uploaded to the game, he should take it away.


Regards Greg
 
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Actually, Greg, I may have gotten three votes. Sattva said she voted for #8, but there's no vote for #8 registered. Sattva, did you intend to vote for #8?

BTW, I did indeed intend the homophonic pun in #3. I wasn't sure how many readers would remember that "eureka" means "I have found it," thereby creating the pun. Also I relied on Italian stereotyping by adding a vowel sound to words ending in consonants. If one isn't aware of such stuff #3 falls flat.
 
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As we have so many runners up, I propose we welcome new member sattva by allowing her to choose the place name for the next game.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
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quote:
Originally posted by BobHale:
As we have so many runners up, I propose we welcome new member sattva by allowing her to choose the place name for the next game.

Yes, I agree!
 
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Sounds like a great plan!

Sattva, you just name a place and have the contributors send it to you in a PM. Then, when you have enough and get ready to post the poll, we'll give you a little lesson in that. Posting the poll isn't hard, but it's a bit fiddly (at least the way I do it; there might be an easier way).
 
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I did try to vote for Geoff's Trumpster one. Just thought that was so apropos. I also, decided NOT to argue about whether I should pick the next place and just do it. Thank you all for asking me. I just posted it. I thought people would have fun with it.

I notice that I have become quite conscious of my grammar here. I have forgotten most of what I ever knew and realize that I know little compared to most of you. Please forgive all the mistakes I will make along the way!
 
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I also, decided NOT to argue about whether I should pick the next place and just do it.

As Greg from Oz might say, good on yer, mate! Big Grin
 
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As Greg from Oz might say, good on yer, mate!

Actually that would be "good on YA, mate".


Regards Greg
 
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I stand corrupted - er, corrected. For a moment I thought I was in politics.
 
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I noticed that the last contest ran over three weeks. Is that the usual amount of time for keeping these open?
Thanks!
 
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Depends on how tough the ryme is.
 
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It also depends on whether the usual posters have posted, whether the game's originator (In this case, you) is too busy to post them promptly, etc. Sometimes life gets in the way of fun, y'know!

How many have you got so far?
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Geoff:
It also depends on whether the usual posters have posted, whether the game's originator (In this case, you) is too busy to post them promptly, etc. Sometimes life gets in the way of fun, y'know!

How many have you got so far?

Geoff, I answered in the St. Joe thread!
 
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