I was once told that evil had vanished from the world because the Devil was dead.

This came about because of a notice in a local laundry which said "Satin dyed here"

Richard English

"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."
~~ Groucho Marx

I must say, I always thought that myself!
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No, Groucho was wrong. The Latin term for neck is cervix.

Very interesting, Asa. In the future, whenever I hear a woman referred to as being "frigid", I'll think of cerveza fría.

But I digress.

quote:

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Kalleh: "Hello. We curl up and dye."
Richard: ""Satin dyed here"

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Those familiar with the saying, "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die," will appreciate the motto of an overweight group for their last-blast party:

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.

And since we're talking about drinking...:

I recently saw this on the German beer called Warsteiner, which, by the way, really isn't bad (though nothing like Fuller's 1845):

Because life is too short to drink cheap beer.

I found a school report that my daughter had written when she was 7 (she is in law school now!); it was about what she thought her life would be like:

I will either have a wonderful husband, or I will be a widow. Hmmm, the implications of that...!

Just seen on a newsgroup: I am NOT a complete idiot! A few of my parts are missing!

The presenter of the TV series Robot Wars, Craig Charles, referred in one episode to robots "beating the scrap out of each other". A very nice turn of phrase, I thought.

"beating the scrap out of each other". A very nice turn of phrase, I thought.
____________________________________________
GEAR! GEAR!

My father once said to a bank manager who was arguing about extending company's overdaft facility, "...Mr X, nobody's perfect but you're the nearest to a perfect bloody fool I've ever met..."

He didn't get the overdraft!

Richard English

A common phrase here in the states is: "Friends don't let friends drive drunk." As you enter New Orleans there is a big sign saying, "Friends don't let friends eat frozen fish."

Or "Friends don't let friends vote Republican."

And here's another variation that puzzled me until someone finally clued me in to its meaning: "Friends don't let friends ride rice burners."

Ever see that one before? Any guesses as to its meaning. (correct answer in a few days)

Urban Dictionary gives 47 definitions of "rice burner". The one I like best is the first:

quote:

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Any heavily modified Japanese car used for street racing. Usually found with a Riceboy inside, an awkward teenage boy with a penis as small as his acne problem is large.

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Close enough.

The mildly racist advice quoted above refers to Japanese motorcycles and is popular with biking afficianados who favor the Harley-Davidson.

Times change. In my youth a rice burner was any Japanese car, but that was in the 1960s.

Asa Flatus Senex

"Why can't you share your bed? The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone."
~ Michael Jackson, entertainer

"I fooled some the most brilliant people in journalism."
~ Jayson Blair, former NY Times reporter

"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of the Iraqis."
~ Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, former Iraqi Information Minister

"I feel sad, which is not a typical emotion for me."
~ Martha Stewart, businesswoman

"It's the most difficult [decision] I've made in my entire life, except the one I made in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax."
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger (on his decision to run for governor in California, and he won!)

"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
~ Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense

"Shut up you monkey! Curse be upon your mustache, you traitor!"
~ Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri (Iraq's former V.P., talking to the Kuwaiti Minister of State for Foreign Affairs, during an emergency summit of Islamic nations in Qatar.)

"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna. But it says chicken. By the sea.
~ Jessica Simpson, Performer

Are there any 2003 memorable quotes from the U.K.?

There is a good selection here as well as various international ones.

Strangely none of the sites I hit quoted my favourite (I might get it slightly wrong from memory), Tony Blair claiming that the Iraqis "have weapons of mass destruction deployable within forty five minutes."

Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life ?
Can't I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive the brute off ?
Read all about my travels around the world here.
Read even more of my travel writing and poems on my weblog.

[This message was edited by BobHale on Fri Jan 2nd, 2004 at 3:50.]

Thanks for the international flavor, Bob. My favorite of yours is Nelson Mandela's. Of mine, I love Jessica Simpson's!

Quote "..."Do you know who I am? I bloody demand that he's upgraded. Don't you know he's a millionaire?"

Liz Hurley throwing a strop to get her lover upgraded on a flight..."

Sadly the over-paid and self-important celebrities will still continue to get their complimentary upgrades to a class that they could readily pay for from their millions, whereas the underpaid, hardworking and honest check-in clerk probably got the sack!

Frankly, it's a b.... disgrace that the overpaid and over-exposed few should, by their status, get for nothing that which the majority of us cannot afford.

It's blackmail, of course, but blackmail that the airlines seem all to happy to succumb to.

Frankly I wish I'd been in the checkin queue so I could have riposted, "...If he's a millionaire then he can afford to pay - now put up or shut up...!

Richard English

Oh, I really agree with you, Richard. For the rest of us, they will never allow an upgrade. I was on one flight where the flight was completely filled and the first-class section was empty. Still, they would allow no movement.

"Throw a 'strop?'" Dictionary.com defines "strop" as "A strap, especially a short rope whose ends are spliced together to make a ring." What does it mean in this situation?

This is a British English word that gained currency around the middle of the last century (when I was at school) and it means a person who is awkward, argumentative or difficult. Most agree that it comes from the adjective "obstreperous".

To "throw a strop" derives from stroppy and simply means to behave in an awkward or argumentative manner. (And yet another meaning of the verb "to throw").

Richard English

You have to have a sense of humor for this one; thankfully my sister does.

My sister, a psychiatric nurse, lost her husband a few years ago to a very rare disease that I believe we have discussed on this board--Pickwickian Syndrome. He was fine one day, and in 2 or 3 days, deteriorated quickly. When my sister asked how her husband was doing, the attending physician said, "He is unraveling like a cheap K-Mart sweater."

And, who says that bedside manner is a lost art!

Reviving a thread times 2!

One of the funniest comedians around has died: Alan King.

Here is one of my favorite stories about him, and it is relevant to our mixed American/British audience here:

"He also worked as the opening act for such music stars as Lena Horne, Billy Eckstine, Patti Page and Judy Garland, whom he joined in a command performance in London for Queen Elizabeth II.

After that show he was introduced to the queen and, when she asked, 'How do you do, Mr. King?' he said he replied: 'How do you do, Mrs. Queen?'

'She stared at me, and then Prince Philip laughed,' he recalled. 'Thank God Prince Philip laughed.'"