On the assumption that we want to continue - the dwindling number of contributors raising that possibility - I offer a vacation in
CANCUN, Mexico.

Pronounced can-COON.

Lots of possibilities for rhyming here, from the graphic to the geographic, with room for the crude and the lewd and whatever turns you on, Dude.

Oh, I like it! I haven't been to Cancun, but have heard good things about it. Thanks, Hab!

Mine's in

Received...

Canned coon? Almost as awful as poached possum.

A canner, exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked to his Granny:
-A canner can can
-Anything that he can,
But a canner can't can a can, can he?

Keep those cards and letters coming, folks...

We shouldn't need Telescope Hubble
To see that this thread has no trouble
But we do need more verses
With smirk, pun, or curses
So send 'em all in on the double!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

All this "Can he, can't he, can a can, canny canner man" stuff has reminded me of a quality tool manufacturer's slogan, an Aussie company called Sidchrome, who have been using the same slogan since the early 1960s, namely:

"You canna handa a man a grander spanner than a Sidchrome".

I've been busier than a one-armed paper hanger (isn't there a better one than that?) at work lately - but I'll try tomorrow maybe?

Mine's in - and it is not bad, if I do say so myself. At least I had fun writing it.

I must have suffered a stroke or something; I can't rhyme anymore! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

quote:

I must have suffered a stroke or something; I can't rhyme anymore! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

If you write limericks by trade,
And rarely, if ever, get paid,
If you lose your rhyming
Or worse still your timing,
You may as well go and get laid.

I can't - I'm married.

We have so far contributors four's
And while that isn't hay [he assures]
I would say you can tell
That we're moving quite well
But we also would like to have yours!

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:
I can't - I'm married.

That reminds me of a joke... [But then, doesn't everything...]

...guy woke up with a huge hangover after a night out drinking with the boys. He couldn't remember how he got home from the party.

He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on the side table.

He sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He took the aspirins, cringing when he saw a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, J."

He stumbled into the kitchen and sure enough, there was a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him.

His son was also at the table, eating. He said, "Son, what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home three in the morning, drunk as a skunk. You tripped over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw-up in the hallway, and you got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So why is your mother in such a good mood, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replied, "Oh, THAT! Well, when Mom dragged you to the bedroom and tried to take your pants off, you yelled, 'Hey lady, leave me alone! I'm married!'"

Pa-da-POM.

And as long as you're telling jokes:

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

It's okay to wait until Sunday *
And we'll do jokes again, maybe, one day,
But send your CANCUN
Lim'ricks in very soon
'Cause I'm going to post them on Monday. **


*(but no later)
**(which will make nearly three weeks since this round began)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

Shu had a good one - I need to needle him a bit more to post it.

Send it on!

C'mon, Shu, don't hide that light of yours under a barrel...

LAsT CALL !!