So - whom you voted for:
A Jolly Good Fellow from Rye
(Which no one could ever deny)
But with ladies? No fun;
He would see them and run,
Because he was ever so shy.
Train north from NY on the fly:
I spotted a matron from Rye--
Her pearls and sweater-set
Said ‘girls’ and ‘I’m all wet’--
But sadly it all was a lie.
I once asked an old man in Rye
“Beg your pardon, I don’t mean to pry
But why is it that
You’ve a tall tin foil hat?”
“it’s because of the spies in the sky."
The folks who live up there in Rye?
New York provides each daily high:
The gents broker gold bars,
Their wives shop at Zabar’s;
They tuck their kids in with a sigh.
There is an old woman of Rye
Who suddenly swallowed a fly
She then ate a spider
Then drank some hard cider
Now all three are happy - guess why?
Would you like to live up in Rye?
You’ll need a bequest just to buy
Then win a big bet,
Or have lifelong debt—
That’s how all the Jones’s get by.
On meeting two nudists in Rye
The parson cried, “Well! My oh my.
Do my eyes deceive?
It is Adam and Eve…
And wow, what a serpent I spy!
I married a girl raised in Rye
But then, uh-oh, I turned out bi:
My MIL cursed >roar<
But hippy wife’s thirst for
The ménage à trois helped it fly.
On the bust of hooker from Rye
Were printed the things that she’d try
And for all her positions
The terms and conditions
Were in the small print on her thigh.
There was a young lady of Rye
Who wanted to learn how to fly
Went up to Hammondsport
Asked Glenn Curtiss, "Hey, sport,
How'd you like to get a girl high?" *
*Glenn Curtiss, the Wright Brothers' arch rival, lived in Hammondsport.
A persistent young fellow of Rye
Said, “I try and I try and I try
And I try and I try
And I try and I try
I expect I’ll succeed by and by."
That's all she wrote, folks. You're right, Bob. Congratulations, Bob: you win by all possible criteria; I vote for #9 also, even though you don't need the extra vote.
Which gives you the honor of choosing our next destination. Where to?