So let's see what variations we can get on an old traditional limerick place name.

(I was tempted to use Ealing or Nantucket)

Oh, I'd have liked Nantucket!

Why not try writing a limerick containing all three?

All three? OK here's one .....

The eel merchant living in Ealing
Said he had a peculiar feeling
Sending Dundee eels to Nantucket
In an old oaken bucket
"I'm retiring," he said. "I'm done dealing."

Heard this on The Colbert Report tonight:

There once was a man named McCain
Who had the whole White House to gain
He was quite a hobbyist
At boning his lobbyist…
So much for the ’08 campaign…

Ealing, Nantucket, Dundee
Geographical Limericks can be
Both covert and revealing
Conveying much feeling
Overloaded with hyperbole.

So tired,
Tired of waiting,
Tired of waiting for you
For you


Here then are the entries that we did manage to get.

First up jerry's trilogy.

Was the plumber who lived in Dundee
Awaiting his love by the sea?
Was he spending his time
In search of a rhyme?
Was it he? Was it me? Wait and see !!

An astronomer out in Dundee
Was working with stars on a spree
He arranged them just so
And, wouldn't you know ...
He produced a well laid syzygy

Doctor Loheide , you see,
A podiatrist up in Dundee,
Hid his videocam
And is now in a jam
For taping that part of his fee.

And now Richard's trilogy

James Keiller, who lived in Dundee,
Discovered with singular glee,
That his orange preserves
Were so good for the curves
That everyone has them for tea!

To her boyfriend, a lad from Dundee
Said the lassie, "Och Hamish, you're wee.
"It's no just the tilt
Of what's under the kilt,
It's the way that you use it", said he.

There was an old man from Dundee
(And I know you all think it was me)
Who only drank ale
That was darkish, not pale
And insisted that Tetley's was tea.


And one each from

bethree5 (love those homophone rhymes)

One braw nicht a Scot in Dundee’d
Just laid himself doon and done deed
When word got around
He’d willed them a pound
Heirs knew his death was a done deed.

Kalleh

There once was a lad from Dundee
Who loved a young lass from Gurnee.
But three thousand miles
Presented some trials,
So cold showers he took with his tea!

and arnie (with a very dirty one)

There was a young man of Dundee,
Got stung on the dick by a bee.
So his girlfriend then said,
"It's gone lollipop red"
"Why don't I just suck it and see?"

Finally I'll add three of my own which, of course, are not contenders in the competition and which I wrote this morning while invigilating an exam.

There was an old man of Dundee
Whose beard contained only one flea.
Said the flea, "I'm so sad.
Woe is me, mum and dad
Have both fled, I must flee set me free.

There was an old man of Dundee
Who went out one day on a spree
He spent nearly one shilling
Then said "God be willing,
It's a long walk back home, but it's free."

Said an old parson down in Dundee,
"The collection is empty, I see
The congregational size
Though, continues to rise
They must come every week 'cos it's free."


A bit of a shame this week. I was very taken with bethree5's triple homophone (which would never fly over at the you know where) but right at the last minute arnie's vulgar contribution overtook it just because it has the saucy seaside postcard humour that all the best limericks have.

Sorry bethree5 but a good silver medal to you. Meanwhile over to arnie for the prize of choosing next week's place name.

Well done, Arnie.

I realised, once I'd posted it, that some might be confused by the reference to James Keiller in one of my limericks. His family firm were the makers of probably the world's most famous marmalade. The firm still exists but is no longer owned by the family.

Wow!

I am not worthy! I'd like to thank my mother and father, Ayn Rand and God for inspiring me.

I'll think of a suitable place and start a new thread soon.