Okay folks entries have been drying up after a bit of a flurry of activity a week ago, so I think it's time we moved on to a new game. I thought Box Hill might lend itself to a few blue limericks, but possibly for the first time ever, they nearly all are blue. But to my great surpise there was no "cock spill" or "jocks fill". But now that I've mentioned it I'm almost certain that Proof will be first to respond by using both of them in the one limerick with Box Hill.

But now to the entries received for Box Hill:

1
The runners lined up on the blocks will
Race round the track here at Box Hill
Though the first runner flies
He will NOT get the prize.
The one with the best shoes and socks will.

2
The volume that's so loud it shocks will
Amaze you where Lorikeet flocks mill,
At sunset each night -
Such a fabulous sight
On Canterbury Road out near Box Hill.

3
A horrible plague came to Box Hill
Making so many men's cocks ill.
Before it had run
It's course and was done
It killed more chickens than any old fox will.

4
On the summit of lovely Box Hill
She loses her bra and her socks 'til
The wind blew them back;
We're back in the sack,
But the mood had cooled down and my cock's nil.

5
I set out to find me a thrill
In the rowdy old town of Box Hill
With a Slick-slitted slut
With a juicy big butt!
Now it burns when I pee, and I'm ill.

6
Said a lady who lived in Box Hill,
To some oil men: ”Please, if you will,
Let me check on the size
Of the tools on you guys...
Guess they’ll do, so let’s drill, baby, drill.”

7
C.J. Strollin went up to Box Hill
Writing limericks to give all a thrill
Bonza sheilas, it's true,
Saw him using the loo,
Drained his inkwell with spurts from his quill.

(C.J. Strollin is a former member of this board who founded the OEDILF)

Question:
So as Proof would say vote now and vote often

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7

 

1, 2, & 3 rhymed both "box" & "hill"
4 was quite good, but still.....
5 was classic, I thought
and 6 "hit the spot"
but 7 got the vote from my quill

OK this is disgusting but had to rise to the occasion:

When first he saw Jill from Box Hill
He found his heart standing stockstill
Then quick pitter-patter
And pants all a-splatter
He could not forestall his cock's will

Nice one, b5! I'd have voted for that!

BTW, CJ's last name is Strolin (one 'l').

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
OK this is disgusting but had to rise to the occasion:

Well, yeah, women get erections too!

Why wasn't this one in the list? I like it!

Greg, it seems it's up to you to flip a coin and pick a winner. Orrrrrr, just say it's Kalleh.

Well, at least I got one vote this time. But mine isn't one of the two. I voted for the CJ one...quite clever, I thought. Lotsa symbolism!

thanx for compliments. couldn't get past line 2 until inspired by reading all entries.

I didn't vote for one of the favorites, but between 4 & 7 I prefer 7 because of that cool word "Bonza"

I did vote for one of the favorites, #3, because it has something the others don't: Paraprosdokian. That's not a vacuous Armenian American who's famous for nothing more than being famous; it's the fancy term for the twist at the end of a joke that catches one by surprise.

I nearly didn't vote for it because of the errant apostrophe in line four, and the extra syllable in line five, but its wit trumped its faults, IMHO.

As for "bonza," is it something you're often called? I'm often called "Bonzo," which doesn't mean quite the same, I think.

"Bonza" is an Aussie slang term for "beaut". Did you mean you are often called a "Bonzo" (haven't heard that one), or a "Bozo" which is basically a "dolt"?

Guess I have to break the tie now. I'd like to vote for No. 3 because it rhymes both syllables, but I'm sorry Bob, but I can't see past the fact that Lines 1 & 2 have 9 syllables whereas Line 5 has 11. So it is going to have to be No. 7, although I would have preferred CJ to have been strollin' in Box Hill. So that makes Geoff the winner. I will cast such a vote straight after this to make it official.

Entries were from:

1: Bob - had I been given a free vote, this one probably would have got mine, because the Box Hill athletics track, is very well used, both in and outside the city, by professional and amateur athletes, and because it was a bit different in that it was "clean".

2: Mine - I knew it would get no votes, but I couldn't resist it because, on the very busy commercial intersection of Canterbury and Union Roads not far from Box Hill, there is a couple of large Oak (I think - they're certainly not native) trees, growing out of the footpath, and every night at dusk the very native and beautiful Rainbow Lorikeets fly in from all directions in their thousands for a night's sleep, and the cacophony of noise is absolutely deafening and quite a shock when you first hear it.

3: Bob - Nice and naughty but the last line having 2 extra syllables killed it for me.

4: Kalleh - Another nice and naughty one, particularly notable by the fact that it is written in the first person by a female, who one suspects probably doesn't have such an appendage.

5: Geoff - Almost too naughty this one.

6: Proof - Liked the play on words with mining men "drilling" and would have gone close to getting my vote had I got a free one.

7: Geoff - Probably wouldn't go down very well outside of the Wordcraft community, but clearly well received within it, and loved the "bonza sheilas" reference - hmm methinks now I needn't have answered Geoff's previous question - he clearly knew what the term was but didn't want to give away the fact that it was his limerick.

So up to you for a new game Geoff. B35's would probably have been my favourite had I received it in time.

Wow, I wouldn't have suspected it was Geoff who wrote #7. I thought for sure it was Bob's since he still posts on OEDILF.

Great limerick, Geoff, and I have alerted CJ to it.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

Thanks, Greg! BTW, I corrected the spelling of Strolin immediately after I posted it, but somehow the error got through. Gremlins, I suspect!

My computer's in hospital where the chaplain is performing an exorcism. I'm using my spouse's computer. I'll post a new location tomorrow.

"In hospital?" You're as bad as zmj!

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
"In hospital?" You're as bad as zmj!

As bad, perhaps, but not as good.

Oh, heck. You know what I meant. Z is always saying "in hospital" or "at university" just to annoy me.

I'll write a limerick for your new word.