1.To find some rhymes for New York City
Try itty-bitty shitty kitty,
Then you must make it scan,
Well done if you can -
Let's hope at least it's pretty witty.

2.There was an old man from New York City
(A town, I am told, without pity).
Though he loved it so,
It's said he don't know
Shinola from [add rhyme that’s witty].

3.There once was one W. Mitty,
Who dreamed of a dark New York City—
Armed thugs ‘round his condo?
Dispatched with Tai Kwando!
While girls hung on him, each one pretty.

4.There's a man who's in New York (the City)
Considered (by him) a great wit. He,
While hung like a horse,
Was not virile, of course,
Thus his repartee's wasted -- a pity.

5. A poem about New York City
Can surely be nothing but witty.
But it’s difficult choosing
A rhyme so amusing –
Perhaps I should form a committee.

6. A lim for the city, New York
Is like birthing a baby (no stork!).
The problem's the "city;"
The meter's not pretty.
So this one I cannot uncork.

7. On a business trip to New York City
I wandered down to Jersey for some "kitty."
T'was a very brief romance:
Stole my wallet, shirt, and pants
My colleagues laughed; there's no nude dork pity!

8. I sailed off to far New York City
And in spite of disaster stayed witty,
“When I said that I think
I'd like ice in my drink
I only wanted a much smaller bitty."

9. A gourmet from fair New York City
Fancied himself fairly witty
"Big Apple? No, durian"
Said this fine epicurean,
"Tastes good, but it smells rather shitty."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian

Question:
Please vote for the best limerick

Choices:
one
two
three
four
five
six
seven
eight
nine

 

None worked for me, so I did the best I could. This one was hard!

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
None worked for me, so I did the best I could. This one was hard!

Because of your insistence on the weird non-standard new YORK CIty with it's very unusual consecutive stressed syllables. I've never heard anything but "new york CIty" with just the one stressed syllable. I've tried saying it out loud you way and can't even do it.




I found it very easy and both of my entries scan well (given the more usual pronunciation), though in hindsight I would have deleted one word.

Just discovered that we do it by poll now!

Votey-votey.

I think we have a winner.

quote:

Because of your insistence on the weird non-standard new YORK CIty with it's very unusual consecutive stressed syllables. I've never heard anything but "new york CIty" with just the one stressed syllable. I've tried saying it out loud you way and can't even do it.

It's the way we all say it where I'm from, Bob - similar to your putting an "er" on the end of "idea." Remember, those of you in England and in the East say the "or" in New York much differently than those of us in the rest of the U.S. I assume that's why - the "or" just is a natural stress; there's nothing to be done about it (for me). And, also for me, meter is an important part of a limerick. Clearly, it isn't for everyone here, which is fine. We all have our preferences.

Having said that, I voted for one, even though it didn't quite work for me.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

Maybe she should have done New Amsterdam?

OK, time to call it-- we have 8 votes for 9 lims written by 7 limmers.

Clear winner is Bob Hale's #9.

Here's the line-up:
1. Greg's valiant rhymes perhaps lacked meter - no vote.
2. bethree's tired Shinola interested no one...
3. but her Bond-like Mitty got one taker.
4. proof's well-hung NY'r placed 2nd w/ 2 votes
5. Stanley's nicely-metered wry bit garnered a vote.
6. kalleh gets MVP for clever but no 'city', no votes
7. Geoff's hobbled meter painted a funny pic but alas no vote
8. bob hale has charisma: even this not-quite-perfect-scan garnered a vote, and...
9. his 2nd assay has it all: perfect meter; clever & unusual rhyming overrode the lack of bawd & tenuous connection to topic city. Do you eat this stuff in far Cathay, O Bob?

Of course mine lacked meter, that was the whole point of lines 3 & 4. I couldn't make anything scan at all, so I decided to have a bit of fun with it anyway. I would have been disappointed if anybody had voted for it.

And thanks B35 for making the effort to write a little bit of commentary on each one.

Yes, I always like the commentary, too. I pored over these so intently when I made my choice that I don't remember now which one I selected!

While it's gratifying to win, I'm going to have to hand this over to someone else for the next place. In just over a week I'm moving to a new city and there is a good chance that I'll be without internet for about two months!

Hey, Stanley, how would you like to come up with a venue? If you need help in developing the poll, I'm happy to talk you through it.

BTW, I have been convinced by Shu that you are all correct about the stresses in NY City. He did agree with me that, at least where we live, we say it as new YORK CI-ty. However, he also said that in a limerick it's easy to change the YORK slightly and make it work. He then recited a limerick and I see his point.

Yeah, I'm quite happy to do it, if everyone's sure about that. I'll have a think and post a new game later today