Here are the entries:

1. To nude “Pebble Beach” near Rockaway
go the Flinstones and Rubbles on Holiday
The girls free their chest-boulders
from the over-the-shoulder holders
and Fred can’t put his igneous cock-away.

2. Hey, thinking of buying in Rockaway?
You've probaby just thrown your clock away.
The streets are all wet sand
The homes are all smashed and
The hurricane washed every dock away.

3. I once met a woman in Rockaway,
We cavorted; she threw her sparse frock away.
But now she's a bore
With a family and more...
Wish I'd kept her and thrown the damn lock away!

4. I live in a town called Rockaway
The sea is only a block away.
I fell off a dock
and sank like a rock.
The tide was out so I could walk away.

5. I heard a young woman from Rockaway,
Right after she'd popped out her knockers, say,
To her show pony beau
Who himself had a go,
"For God's sake please put that damn cock away!"

A fowl farmer based down in Rockaway
Once heard one of his many knockers say,
"If his rooster ain't goin'
To stop all that crowin',
I'll bloody well take his damn cock away!"

I once heard a Rockaway knocker say,
"I ain't settin' foot in that Rockaway.
There's a rumour I've 'eard
'Bout a boob-poppin' bird
'n' 'er farm-boy who can't put his cock away!"

6. A shepherd who lived up in Rockaway,
Said, "It would be much better to lock away
The ewe that I kissed
For she's told of our tryst
And frightened nine-tenths of the flock away."

7. Said a gentleman farmer of Rockaway
“If you must mock my farm, then please mock away
Mock my wheat and my oats,
Mock my sheep, pigs and goats
But be grateful that I put my cock away.”

Question:
Vote for your favourite in the usual manner!
(Note that you get three for one for 5.)

Choices:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

 

Are you sure this is right? I see three number 5s (welll to be accurate two unnumbered after number 5)

From his statement at the top apparently a vote for 5 is a vote for all three entries. (?)

quote:

(Note that you get three for one for 5.)

Is it a "three-part" limerick?

That's the way the author said to post it - as a three-stanza work.

Nice limericks!

Bob, when you get a chance, will you please review the limerick meter and rhyming again for us? Thanks so much!

I'd like to think that mine would have pulled a vote or two, if No. 6 hadn't been so damned clever and so bloody funny. I just gave it its 4th Vote giving it an unassailable lead I would suggest

I hope you guys aren't too offended with my amateur poems, that don't quite fit the meter and rhyme for limericks. I am trying to improve. I struggled with my poem "number 1" a lot. I guess i wanted to get some of my "message" or "joke" into it, and I think I need to concentrate more on fitting the rules. Thanks to Geoff for forwarning me.

Kalleh, I'm sure your request for the limerick 101 lesson was due to reading my inadequate poem in your usual polite way. I will concentrate on doing one to the rules more, and not worrying about the end joke so much.

Just to show you that I am learning:

I am reviewing my little poem with the rules I have read for the second time, and see some of the weakness. I wanted to get them "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders" in so bad, that I sacrificed the rhythm of the poem. The last syllable in Holiday rhymes with the "ay" in Rockaway, but that doesn't count. I needed to rhyme the 'rock'. I was proud of the 'igneous cock-away', but them cocks got way overused.

I'm sure there's more, but my next poem will fix the above problems. Thanks for your patience with me guys. I know I am not quite the scholar most the posters here are.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Tom,

Tom, I thought your idea was excellent! Once you've got the limerick pattern down pat you're going to be formidable! Keep it up!

Anybody else want to vote? As Greg said, the outcome is all but certain, but maybe if some who didn't submit will vote, it might be a more even contest. Or not. Anyhow, I'll post who did what tonight. (My tonight, not Greg's or Bob's)

I threw the overinflated cocks away,
Two and four store in the “nicebox” away
I didn’t get three
But maybe that’s me
But it was six that blew my wool socks away.



edit: oops, I meant to add "wool"

quote:

I hope you guys aren't too offended with my amateur poems,

They're great compared to many of my earlier ones on this site (check the older games like "Cannes".)

The winner is Bob, who penned both #s 6 and 7, so he got five votes total. Pretty impressive!

#1 was Toms, as he has more or less stated.

#2 was Beethree's. Clearly talking about her local Rockaway, not the Oregon one. A very competent submission!

#3 was Kalleh's, which, I thought, started off very well. Someone else must have agreed, since it pulled in a vote.

#4 was arnie's most competent contribution.

#s 5, 5, and 5 were Greg's.

#s 6 and 7 were Bob's.

Take it away, Bob!

Thank you all for your votes, I shall try to serve the office wisely and...

oh... all I get to do is pick a new place.

I'll give it a little thought first as most of the ones I pick tend to be unrhymeable.

（I thought I had a winner with 6. Figured 7 might lose out because everybody would rhyme "cock away" - turns out I was right!)

But you punned "cock," whereas others used it in the ordinary way. Clever, methought.

Well in 5-1 I used it in the normal way, then in 5-2 it was a rooster, and in 5-3 you could take it either way.

Geoff and I disagreed on mine. I thought the ending was understandable, but he didn't. I loved his suggestion:

I once met a woman in Rockaway,
We cavorted; she threw her sparse frock away.
But then she ran off,
And that made me scoff
at giving my heart and my cockaway.

However, it just wasn't mine so I couldn't take it. Congrats, Bob! I voted for yours, mostly because of our sheep herding border collie.