I await your efforts*.

*Extra credit if you can work in downtown or downcity.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

Great word. I've not been there, but my uncle used to love it.

I am thinking...

I have several in already and, although it won't count, I have completed a four-limerick biography of Paul Gauguin (which feature downtown and downcity prominently). I'm sure his estate will not be pleased.

Shall we make the deadline Aug 5?

I'm up to a six-limerick biographical novel, soon to be published by Simon and Schuster.

Only four days to the deadline for limericks.

Blue skies and green seas, it’s terrific
This isle paradise mid-Pacific
It’s name is Tahiti
With city Papeete
OK, let’s create a limerick

Only two entries so far.

Limerick edited for a terrible meter problem.

-... .... -.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

You've got mine now.

Just sent mine.

Wordmatic

Seven limericks from four people.

Is this the best you can do?

I've made seven myself on the subject. And I'm only semi-literate.

Entries will close at 6 PM EDT Aug 5.

Another entry, from Valentine. Time's running out.

And my bio on Guaguin has become an obsession. . . .!

Entries close at 6 PM EDT for the Limerick Game: Tahiti. Limericks will be posted later and the winner announced.

What follows doesn’t count toward the contest but I post it to show, by contrast, just how good the legitimate limericks are.

For a better appreciation of this composition, please refer to the ‘Questions and Answers about Words’ threads, “Where do I go?” and, to understand the last limerick, see “Art for art’s sake.”

Yes, I’m well aware of some “near-rhymes” (which represent le French accent) and minor meter discrepancies. What do you want for free?

An Elegy For Paul Gauguin, Artist,
With Ze Helpful Advice For Othair Painters

Paul Gauguin lived in romantic Tahiti, painting native life. Ironically, in this tropical paradise, he died from the effects of syphilis.

Gauguin dwelled in downtown Papeete
In love with a most meete sweete
With face erotique
And pleasing physique
Topped off with tanned tropical teete.

He festooned her with fresh frangipani
Native orchids burst from every cranni.
A hibiscus here,
Dendrodium there,
Wild flowers would flare from her fanni.

He painted his tart in Tahiti
The trollop doffed all in the citi,
Being quite propair,
Paul had to stop ’air,
“Jus’ topless - le titi, no cliti.”

Paul painted his pics of his sweete
Ensconced in downcity Papeete.
Dabbled by day
In Primitive way,
And at night, tagged downtown with graffeete.

The French said, “Paul isn’t too neat, ‘e
Is making downcity Papeete
Seem rather slummy.
Evict this rummy
Before he makes uptown look sheete.”

Paul packed up his pallette and art
To the suburbs to make a new start.
Moved to the beach,
Paint brush in reach,
In a hut with his Tahitian tart.

Paul said, “My lovair won’t cheat.” He
Was naive -- she porked most of Papeete.
Laid on the chap
Terminal clap;
He’s planted for good, thanks to sweete.

You artists who venture from France
To give South Sea islands a chance:
Stick to your brushes
Ignore tasty tushes
Please keep your tool tucked in your pance.

If you go to the South Seas perchance
Don’t give a nude native a glance.
Don’t try to rouse her
With your tented trouser --
Or crotch rot will screw up your stance.

Paul Gauguin (and his ‘model’) are dead
“A genius!” art critics have all said.
“His acme of art
That touches one’s heart?
‘An authentic unmade English bed.’”

But who had the better life? Paul Gaugin or his pal Vincent van Gogh? I know which lifestyle I'd choose ...

Losing an ear is preferable to other parts.

At least Gaugin lived to 54. Vincent topped himself at 37. Interestingly, Vincent's brother, Theo, also contracted syphilis.

When Gauguin found his privates were changing color he went to a French doctor, who advised amputation. He wanted a second opinion, so he went to a Chinese doctor who said, "Crazy French doctor. No need to amputate. Leave it alone and, in two weeks, it fall off by itself."

It's a little early but I have some business which may keep me busy later. So I'll post what I have now and announce the winner after 6 PM.


Jerry Thomas

A Big Game Player from Tahiti
Was composing the terms of a treaty.
His main claim to fame
Was selecting a name
For the moose, pronghorn, deer, and wapiti.

A horny old guy from Tahiti
Said the scenes in the suburbs are pretty
Looking up the outskirts
He winks and he flirts
And explores from uptown to downcity

It’s not far from here to Tahiti.
I’m inviting you and your sweetie
To take a short trip
And thus get a grip
On the few words that rhyme with “meaty.”

Richard English

I went off to visit Tahiti,
But not with my wife - with my sweetie!
But lust turned to terror
When I saw my error —
On the wall my wife’s name as graffiti.

If you’re taking your girl to Tahiti
Make sure you don’t stay in Papeete.
Its shopping attractions
Means your sweaty actions
Will be carting the bags for your sweetie.

Kalleh

My uncle just loves his Tahiti;
He lies on the beach with his sweetie
Who’s wearing a teeny
And weeny bikini.
[She bulges right through cuz she’s meaty!

Wordmatic

If I could just get to Tahiti,
I’d lie on the beach all bare-teatie;
I’d soak up the sun,
And when I was done,
I’d put salve on my sunburned nude seatie!

Valentine

A fancy resort in Tahiti
Imported a large male wapiti
When the dung on the sand
Got quite out of hand
”Kill the beast” cried the local grafitti.

CONTEST WINNER!

All of the limericks were great. I can see why Jerry had such difficulty picking a winner last time. I won’t attempt to delve into the technical aspects of each submission since, given the idiosyncratic nature of my own creations, I don’t feel qualified to judge them that way.

So on a strictly subjective basis, Honorable Mention (a tie) goes to Jerry, for including my sought-after words in his entry; and, as I'm a zoo person, to Valentine for finding a creative use for wapiti dung.

But for sheer erotic, exotic, part-stirring imagery, the winner has to be:

Wordmatic.

I would like to visit Tahiti
Where women walk with topless titi.
You’d hear me sigh
If I could apply
Salve onto Wordmatic’s nude siti.

Thanks to a pornographic memory, I can recite her limerick verbatim.

And now it’s her turn to pick a location.

I love it, Wordmatic!

OMG, I'm so embarrassed! Thank you for this honor? I hadn't even bothered to check until I got Proofreader's PM this a.m., as I thought my entry was so low, so crude, so rude! So now I understand the true essence of limerickology, I guess. Let me ponder on a next venue for our poetic musings and I'll start a new thread.

Now, Proofreader--kindly wash your mind out with soap! LOL.

Wordmatic

PS, thoroughly enjoyed your epic limerick tribute to Gauguin!

quote:

So now I understand the true essence of limerickology, I guess.

The limerick packs jokes anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean -
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Anon

..... in other words ...

Fine limericks won't cost you much money
Enjoy them when it's dark or sunny.
The best ones, we've seen,
Some folks think are obscene
And the others are not often funny

~~~~

I just read “Limerick: Partridge Green”
And the talk: Should a limerick be clean
Or ribald and bawdy?
You all know - Oh, Lawdy -
Of the side where my lim’ricks all lean.