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Originally posted by Geoff:

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Originally posted by BobHale:


Pinky and Perky

!

We had Pinky Lee https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinky_Lee

Given that Pinky and Perky were puppet pigs who sang and performed sketches it seems unlikely that there is a connection

Here they are covering a Beatles classic. People actually bought their albums. I am not joking.

Clips for all the other shows I mentioned can also be found on Youtube.

Redolent of Alvin and the Chipmunks over here.
They too used sped-up records.

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posted August 07, 2021 3:16 PM Hide Post
Redolent of Alvin and the Chipmunks over here.
They too used sped-up records.

Don’t forget Witch Doctor

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The voice of the "Witch Doctor" was in fact Bagdasarian's own voice sped-up to double speed, a technique later exploited by Bagdasarian to create the characters Alvin and the Chipmunks (and which he had also used on at least one other pre-Chipmunk song, "The Bird on My Head").

Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang

It looks like no one else is going to vote, so I'll pick 3. I wish I could declare it the winner, but I can't, since 1 had the most votes. I can say it was in 2nd place (along with 3 others)

Here are the results:

1
There once was a fellow of Fife
Who took a baboon as his wife.
Said he, "It's a pity
That she's not very pretty
But I'm certain we'll have a wild life."

Two votes
This one written by Bob Hale got 2 votes, from Geoff and B3, which makes it the winner. Congratulations, Bob!

2
There was a Wee Cooper o' Fife
Who had gotten a gentle wife
Then a song by Burl Ives
Did change both of their lives
(Though he used a sheep's skin, not a knife)

No votes.
Hab wrote this one and asked me to include a link to it, which I did. Here’s a video of the song, as sung by Burl Ives.

3
Miss Elanor Rigby of Fife
Had wanted a man in her life
Until Emmy Lou Glick
Donned a silicone dick
Now Elanor's Emmy Lou's wife

One vote.
Geoff wrote this one. It has a nice meter, there’s a turnaround from the first line to the last, and finishes with a nice alliteration of Elanor and Emmy Lou. If he’d pick Sally Mae it wouldn’t have worked. For these reasons I thought it was the best of the lot. No one else agreed with me. Sorry, Geoff. I liked it.

4
A young man who once lived in Fife
Decided to find him a wife
She had to be healthy
And, of course, wealthy
To sustain his extravagant life.

No votes.
I wrote this one. I once went to a talk by a school psychologist and she said her brother had decided to date only girls from rich families. He’d eventually fall in love with one, get married, and live happily ever after. I don’t know how that turned out.

5
The premise, says my girl from Fife,
For one day becoming my wife:
“I sleep-- though you’re dear--
“With my button-in-ear
“Brown Paddington teddy from Steiff.”

No votes.
This is B3’s. I had no idea what the “button-in-ear” or Steiff meant, so I looked it up. Margarete Steiff was born in 1847 and contracted polio when she was 18 months old, though it wasn’t diagnosed until she was 3 years old. She became a seamstress and eventually began making high-quality stuffed animals for kids. Her motto was “Only the best is good enough for children." The button-in-ear was her nephew’s idea to differentiate authentic Steiff toys from counterfeits.
6
In the game that they call Second Life
I've a house and three kids and a wife
But the best bit, I'd claim
I can turn off the game
Which I can't in my real life in Fife.

No votes.
Another by Bob. This and 13 (also by Bob) are a toss-up for my 2nd pick.

7
Back in the '60s in Fife
When sex and drugs were both rife
I'd toke every day
And roll in the hay
I had the time of my life

No votes.
I wrote this one. I thought of CJ.

8
There once was a laddie of Fife
Who loved playing drums all his life
But Major McDougal
Said, "Laddie, play bugle"
Which led to cacophonous strife

No votes.
Another of Geoff’s

9
There’s report of a shark near Fife:
Some old killer come back to life
With teeth pearly-white
And a blade out of sight--
Could that someone be Mac the Knife?

No votes.
B3 meets Mac the Knife

10
Near Tacoma's a suburb called Fife,
Where I met my cacophonous wife.
We wed in Seattle,
Though since: it's just prattle
And gossip and whine - oh what strife!

No votes.
Kalleh submitted this self-portrait

11
Worms have a wonderful life
I happened to see some in Fife
They mate willy-nilly
Until they are silly
And both are both husband and wife

One vote.
I wrote this. Bob liked it. The last line points out that worms are hermaphroditic and can impregnate each other. And, for Geoff's edification, worms also have a clit (clitellum, not clitoris).

12
Brought my girl friend to Paris from Fife
To climb up the Tower of Eif-
Fel right up to the top
And there I did pop
The big question: "Would you be my wife?

One vote.
Another of Hab's. Kalleh chose it.

13
An old man whose home was in Fife
When he found the elixir of life
Said, "I'd give it a try
But I'm worried that I
Might have to share with my wife."

One vote.
Another of Bob's. Picked by Haberdasher

14
A Puyallup fellow of Fife
Took a widow Chinook as his wife
She kept as a totem
Her late husband's scrotum
Ensuring no domestic strife

No votes.
This was Geoff's. I liked the first four lines.

15
There once was a man from Fife
Whose girl would spice up his life
They would just screw
For an hour or two
Then he'd go home to his wife

No votes.
Another of mine

16
Miss Elanor Rigby of Fife
Had longed for a man in her life
'Til a lady named Nell
Cast a magical spell
Now she's another dame's wife

No votes.
This is Geoff's, an alternative to 3 but not as good.

So that's it. Thanks to the six people who submitted entries and who voted. Boo to the rest of you!
I had fun with this. When I first chose "Fife," I figured it would be easy to rhyme. But then I saw how few rhymes there were and I became concerned. But then I started writing and they just rolled out. Most of mine were not very good, but some were.
The one rhyme I didn't think of was "Steiff." I guess I would call B3's the most creative. And I learned something. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

But now it's Bob's turn. Let's hope he has a better turnout. Take it away, Bob!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: tinman,

OMG Geoff, I's missed your comment "We had Pinky Lee." There's something eerie about how antique memories become sharper as you get older. Don't think I've thought of that show in 60+ yrs, but the theme song jumped right into my head. I remember it came on at 5pm, and I would bawl if Mom came to pick me up at the babysitter's before it was over

Thanks for the round-up, tinman. I must have read these carelessly, or I would have included Bob's #13 in my stack-ranking. That last line completely cracks me up.

Robert Heinlein handled that theme too, in Job. Saint Alexander thinks his (self-)righteous and most unpleasant wife has died, and then he remarries for love, and then they both die and go to heaven, and he searches frantically for his wife...and whom he finds is...the first one. Still self-righteous and still unpleasant. Ouch.

You sure it was heaven, Hab?

I must admit that your limerick went over my head. Waaay too sophisticated for me, alas. My late father would have understood it; he loved Burl Ives.

That was the reason I included a link to the lyrics. As sung by Burl Ives,

...
She wouldna card, nor she wouldna spin
Knickety, knackety, no no no
For the shamin' o' her gentle kin
Hey willy-wallacky, how John Dougal, a lane quo rooshety roo roo roo

So the wee cooper went to his woodpack
Knickety, knackety, no no no
And laid a sheepskin on his wife's back
Hey willy-wallacky, how John Dougal, a lane quo rooshety roo roo roo

'Now, I wouldna thrash ye for your gentle kin
Knickety, knackety, no no no
But I would thrash me ain sheepskin'
Hey willy-wallacky, how John Dougal, a lane quo rooshety roo roo roo
...

They tell a story of a "gentle" wife, too refined to do any housework until the cooper took her behind a shack and beat her, after which she behaved herself. (Remind anyone of Kate in The Taming of the Shrew?) It'd never pass PC muster today.but back then it was S.O.P.

Congrats, Bob! Now that I read it, Tinman, I like #3, too. Nice one Geoff.

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Now that I read it, Tinman, I like #3, too.

You mean you hadn't read it before you voted?