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Asa and I (actually it was his idea) have chosen Walla Walla, Washington, as our next limerick game venue. The rhyming could be interesting, as I think the British and the American easterners will say Waller Waller, but I am not sure. Have fun with this one! Asa and I will pick a winner together. He's a whole lot better than he realizes. Send your PMs to me, and I will share them with Asa. Get going! | ||
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<Proofreader> |
Wallah Wallah hee-ah. | ||
<Asa Lovejoy> |
Kalleh's right, it's a short "a" sound at the end; no "er" sound. BTW, they grow some great sweet onions there. The sound is also immortalized in Sheb Wooley's famous song, "The Witch Doctor," here presented by Alvin and the chipmunks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBMEZvZSWFQ | ||
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There's also a Walla Walla in NSW, Australia - it's 130km south of Wagga Wagga. | |||
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<Proofreader> |
Well, goodie goodie. | ||
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I'd heard of Wagga Wagga before, but never come across either Walla Walla. Well well. We live and learn ... Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. | |||
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<Asa Lovejoy> |
Can you get beri-beri from going bora bora beneath "les bloblos"*, down in her huhu? *French slang for large boobs | ||
<Proofreader> |
Is huhu anything like her tata? | ||
<Asa Lovejoy> |
Tata is a Czech car. Arnie, if you show up in Portland some time, it's only about a three hour drive to Walla Walla. We can watch onions grow. | ||
<Proofreader> |
Caught a bad case of clap back in Bora Bora. Got it from this ho named Flora. While she was a good lay I just left her one day -- A good screw but a much better snora. Terrible, I know. | ||
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No. That was a Tatra. Car production stopped ten years ago but the company still exists and makes trucks. The big rear-engined Tatras of the late 1930s were high-speed luxury vehicles much favoured by the German military hierarchy, but their habit of suddenly breaking away on high-speed bends killed so many high-ranking officers that they said by some to be Czechoslovakia's secret weapon against the Nazis! Richard English | |||
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<Asa Lovejoy> |
Of course it was Tatra. As Z would say, that's called a pun. Here in the USA, Ralph Nadir (or was it Nader) destroyed the Chevrolet Corvair for handling in the same way that Tatras did, i.e. oversteer. That's typical of all rear-engined cars, and is advantageous if one knows how to drive such a vehicle. Nadir didn't even know how to drive, but he became an "expert." Go figure. | ||
<Proofreader> |
Maybe Ralph can't drive but he was right about the Corvair. I took one for a test-drive and did a 180 while making a left turn. The salesman suggested a regular Chevy instead. There was no indication the rear end was going to swap ends with that car. Ask Ernie Kovacs about it....oh, no. He was killed in one, that's right. | ||
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It's quite possible to design a rear-engined car that handles perfectly; Porsche have been doing it for nearly half a century. But GM didn't know how to do the job and Corvair spin and roll crashes were depressingly common. Even the VW b=Beetle, on which the Corvair was modelled - air-cooled horizontally opposed engine et al - handled perfectly well in its later manifestations. I certainly never had trouble with my (1955) model in 300,000 miles of driving it. Richard English | |||
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<Proofreader> |
You're absolutely right, Richard. I had a '68 VW which I wish I was still driving today. | ||
<Asa Lovejoy> |
While I agree that the first couple years of Corvair were lousy, the aftermarket was quick to jump on the problem of excessive wheel tuck-under by selling a transverse leaf spring known as a "camber compensator." It worked very well to tame the Corvair's unexpected end-swapping. Add to it the early ones had bias ply tires, not radials, and they weren't so good. However, the later, multi-link suspension Corvairs were downright great handling cars. I think a lot of the problem was that people who had owned US-built cars didn't expect an oversteering car, whereas those who drove a VW, Fiat 600, Renault, or other rear-engined, swing axle-equipped car knew what to expect. My first car was a rear-engined 1950 Renault which I modified considerably and used for autocross - AKA slalom- racing, and was quite successful with it. I used the oversteer to considerable advantagein such contests of nimble handling. The bottom line: Nadir was only justified in his criticism of the first two years of Corvair. After that they were good to excellent. I say that despite my not liking GM in the least. Asa, who spent 24 years servicing/repairing/modifying for road racing LOTS of rear-engined cars | ||
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My first car was a VW Beetle. It had been a 1-owner car, my brother-in-law, with 64,000 miles. I hear from everyone how "wonderful" those cars were. While both my brother-in-law & I took great care of it, it threw a rod at 64,000 miles, and I had to junk it. Needless to say, it wasn't the car of my dreams. Having said that...send us your limericks on Walla Walla ...please!This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh, | |||
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<Asa Lovejoy> |
But, butttt, Kalleh, you could change a VW engine in twenty minutes, and back then they were a dime a dozen! Ya shoulda caled me! | ||
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Yes, I wish I would have known you! I got the car in September, and it was a sexy, red convertible. I couldn't wait until the next summer when I could put the top down. I never got there.... It blew up the following May (as I was coming home to visit my mom on Mother's Day). I hitched a ride with some motorcyclists (I can't believe my audacity!), and then my dad had the car towed and junked. | |||
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In my poorer days I used to change my Beetle's engine in the road outside my house. On my own I could do the job in a couple of hours very easily. And new engines were very inexpensive. Mind you, how on earth did you manage to throw a rod? Beetle engines, properly maintained, were very reliable and almost unbreakable. Richard English | |||
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<Asa Lovejoy> |
RE, I'll bet she had an oil leak from one of the rocker covers. No oil and things go boom. Not at all uncommon on VWs. | ||
<Proofreader> |
The annual Washington Post Limerick contest is on. | ||
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My VW wasn't reliable, was quite breakable, and I'd never buy another VW. Thanks, Proof! However long I've been doing it I've never won...but I might as well put myself through this again. | |||
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As I implied, I think you were either unlucky or your VW had not been properly looked after. Beetles generally were (and still are) very reliable. They would not have become the world's most popular car (outselling the model T Ford by around ten million) had they not been a good and reliable vehicle. As I said, I did over 300,000 miles in my 1955 model and the only time it failed to get me home is when I dozed off at the wheel and hit a parked car! Even after that it was quickly fixed and back on the road, good as ever. I did have a friend, though, who bought a secondhand Beetle and she dropped in to see me on her way back from work to say that there was a warning light showing on the dashboard. I quickly found that it was the oil light and that the sump was empty. And yes, the rocker-box cover gasket had been badly fitted and she had lost all her oil. A quick repositioning of the gasket and a few pints of oil sorted the problem and she never had any further troubles. But had she not thought to drop by then she would have had a siezed engine or worse. I did go to the garage who had just serviced her car and gave them a very severe dressing down. It is easy enough to fit the gasket just out of place on a Beetle engine and they, as a main dealer, should not have made that mistake. Obviously they didn't bother to check the engine for oil-tightness after the post-service road test (assuming they did a road test!).This message has been edited. Last edited by: Richard English, Richard English | |||
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I love the way that a sentence prefaced with "And yes" is so utterly meaningless to me that it might as well be written in Albanian. "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
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<Asa Lovejoy> |
Isn't it in reference to my stating earlier that the gasket on Kalleh's car was likely improperly fitted? In that context, it makes sense, since RE was responding to my post. | ||
<Proofreader> |
And all of you VW drivers have Adolf Hitler to thank. | ||
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Correct. Richard English | |||
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The VW story is a fascinating one and Hitler is just one of the integral parts of it. Without the British intervention under Ivan Hirst (and also Dick Berryman, although his name does not appear in the Wikipedia article) the factory would never have re-started after the war. Richard English | |||
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Perils of the asynchronous nature of internet communication. "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
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<Asa Lovejoy> |
Heyyyy, Kalleh, do you have any limericks for Walla Walla? Maybe it should have been Wolfsburg? | ||
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I knew there was a reason I hated VW. | |||
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These sometimes take awhile, Asa. The creative juices have to flow. People, please send more. So far we have one from Richard and one from Proof. A few more, pretty please???? With sugar???? | |||
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I will send you a couple later today - have to go teach now. "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
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see? from me, three. gee! "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
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We now have one from Proof, one from Richard, one from Stella and three from Bob. Any more???? | |||
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In fact I should have also remembered that, aside from Tatra, there is a Tata company. An Indian firm they are now the owners of, amongst others, Jaguar and Land Rover. http://www.tatamotors.com/ Richard English | |||
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<Proofreader> |
"Tatas" have a different meaning than cars in the US. The only similarity is they both should have cupholders. | ||
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Not an expression I have ever heard in the UK. Richard English | |||
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<Asa Lovejoy> |
It's probably from Spanish, "tetas." Closely related to "French, "teton," or English "tits." In English we don't seem to have a parallel for Spanish, "pechos," however. Too bad, since we coulda had a comedy skit starring that famous Texas breast fetishist, Pechos Bill. | ||
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I've been to the Grand Tetons National Park. "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
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Asa has declared a winner: Congratulations to Stella! Very clever! Stella's Grandpa drove his ten-dollar Corolla To the market in Fort Walla Walla. When he plunged off a cliff, Just before he went stiff, We all heard that poor old fullah holler. Richard's A train buff, a very poor scholar Decided to see Walla Walla. When he got to the station, His hopes for vacation, Were dashed - as he hadn't a dollar. Proof's There's a beautiful girl up in Walla Walla, who told me to calla. Calla I think I should And I could, and I would Since, otherwise, I may not balla. So this pretty young miss said to calla And I thought, “Here’s the chance -- I could balla.” When I got there that night I perceived a sad sight: Men were lined up from Walla to Walla. Bob's A student living in squalor In a bed-sit quite near Walla Walla Said it's a bit of a dive But I guess I'll survive For a month the rent's only one dollar When I had a house in Walla Walla My clock which had cost me one dollar Didn't go very well But I thought "What the hell?" I'll just open the window and holler. A scholar who lived down in Walla Walla once swallowed a dollar "Dollar?", he said Said, "It's just paper to shred" Shred it and feed this poor scholar. | |||
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Congratulations Stella I see that proof and I both had the idea of spliting the name in half and then using further reduplication at the ends and starts of lines. Great minds thinking alike again. "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
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<Asa Lovejoy> |
After chatting with our new service writer, who spent much of his debauched youth in Oz, this tripe oozed from the vermicelli between my ears: When recounting his multiple sins, A randy bloke sighs and begins, I've molested a 'roo, And her small cousins, two, Spawning walla-walla-by twins. | ||
<Proofreader> |
We need a new well and the dowser was looking for a good place to drill. Later I asked him how he did. He told me: My hazel rod started to quiver. I was close and that thought made me shiver. That meant water's nearby (Thank Our Lord in the sky!) But just then I fell into the river. | ||
<Asa Lovejoy> |
Ah, Proof, that one made me really laugh! Well done! | ||
<Proofreader> |
I'm happy that at least one of mine had a positive reaction. | ||
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Remind me again Asa exactly why it is that you think you can't write limericks. I'm having trouble seeing it. "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson. | |||
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I possibly should have put in a note to explain the "train buff" in my submisson. Apparently Walla Walla has a particularly fine railway museum, which was the purpose of this rail buff's trip. Richard English | |||
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