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Limericks

1. Feel free to go bathing in Spa
But not with your very own Ma
Nor with sister Sue
Nor with brother Lou
And certainly not with your Pa


2. There is nuance to rhyming Geoff's "Spa."
Not with "raw," "slaw," nor "bear paw" - but "bra?"
I'll continue...blah, blah...
It's easy, right? Ha!
My Rhymezone is killing me - Yeah!


3. A remarkable starlet in Spa
Possesses such je ne c’east pas,
That nary a Mr.
Can ever reSr.
It’s her curse, not a blessing, n’est pas? 


4. There once was a spinster from Spa
Who tooled around Belgium sans bra
Though folks thought her nutty--
Perhaps even slutty--
Their ogles were for her Jaguar .


5. Says a woman who lives up in Spa
"I don't care if it's kinky you are!"
I have swivelly hips
Also leather and whips..."
And they say she's the bestest by far!


6. A lady who lives up in Bath
Has a home made of plaster and lath
With a parlor and spa
It’s a bit la-di-da
And the price is - well, you do the math!


7.
A liberal fellow from Spa
Went touring one day in his car.
His skills were most deft,
But he kept turning left,
So he didn't get very far.


8. An old-timer I met when in Spa
Had a crowd of us searching the Bar,
Both above and beneath,
For his missing front teeth
That were safely at home in a jar!



9. There once was a fellow of Spa
Got lost while out driving his car
Asked the way of a local.
The dim witted yokel
Said, "Wherever you is there you are".


10. A fellow whose home was in Spa
Was adept at unhooking a bra
His friends said “Don’t bother
Keep it on if you’d rather
And the stockings, just come as you are”


11. Sang an opera singer from Spa
Tra la la, tra la la, tra la la
Tra la la, tra la la
Tra la la, tra la la
Tra la la, tra la la, tra la la


12. When I married a gal from old Spa
I found all she could do was blah, blah.
Never dinner, just jabber--
And in bed, on she'd blabber.
So I sent her right back to her Pa.


13. Hergé's comic's in French up in Spa
Where they laugh "Hé-hé-hé!" not "Ha-Ha!"
Might be plain or be fanthy -
Or mock Iolanthe
(Brass band playing Tin-Tin-ta-ra!



14. A Belgian now living in Spa
Didn’t like Sister, Auntie, or Ma,
Or their female progeny.
(Oh, such misogyny!)
All he could stand was his Pa.

Whew! Fourteen of them! A baker's dozen plus one Belgian waffles. Pick the tastiest one!
In Cajun French that's called, "lagniappe", IIRC.

PS: I think the writer of #3 may have meant "je ne sais quoi; my French is pretty shaky, so I pasted it as written.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,
 
Posts: 4935 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
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I think your French may be better than you admit, n'est-ce pas?
 
Posts: 5788 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Eh, peut-être.
 
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8 and 9 are the same and I think there is a typo in 12 (Sa for Spa)
 
Posts: 8266 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Drat! I lost three of them! Please re-read them all before you pick your favorite.

Since I can't vote, if somebody wants to turn this mess into a poll, allez-y!

Thanks, Bob, bethree5, and Haberdasher, for pointing out my errors.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,
 
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I vote for #10
 
Posts: 2225 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I vote for #4. I don't love the meter in L5, but I like the story and especially the "jaguar" rhyme, which is not run of the mill like mine always are.

I love my husband's limerick, but I shouldn't vote for his. Very clever!
 
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For the writer of number nine:
Wherever you go
 
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For various reasons, this wasn't an easy choice, but I will go with 12. I'm voting before I change my mind, yet again!
 
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I know that one as

Wherever I go
I go too
and spoil everything

and that’s from long before John Cabot Zinn
 
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Gosh, I thought it came from Buckaroo Banzai.
 
Posts: 4935 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Any more votes?
 
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Indeed a difficult choice. But all things considered, and allowing the dialect of dropping final Rs, and not voting for my own, I'll pick Eight.
 
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Forgot-- when we vote this way (i.e. not poll), we often say why we like it. My con#10der, in my opinion, conjures a hilarious visual.
 
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Yes, but I wish I knew who was speaking and who addressed. Is the limerick in First person, second, or third? Who’s coming, anyway? Me, my friends, or my date?
 
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Seems pretty clear to me. The fellow is first claimed to be "adept at unhooking a bra", then, in a bait and switch by the author, his friends tell him he can keep on wearing it along with his stockings and just come (presumably to wherever they currently are) as he is. No date is involved anywhere. (On the other hand I should, perhaps, against our usual convention, out myself as the author in question. Big Grin)
There is a missing full stop at the end of line two but otherwise I feel confident that the punctuation makes it clear.
 
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I am not sure who the winner is here (haven't counted), but it seems to me there were a lot of choices, instead of a consensus on one or two.
 
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BTW, people are always welcome to post their reasons for their choices with the polls, too.
 
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It seems to be a hung jury; no clear winner.

Number 1 was Sattva's, with a bit of coaching on meter from me. Number 2 was Kalleh's. Number 3 was Shufitz. Numbers 5, 6, 12, 13, and 14 were Haberdasher's. Numbers 9. 10, and 11 were Bob's.Numbers 4 and 7 were bethree5's. Number 8 was Greg's. There, I think they're all "outed."

Since it's up to me to pick a winner, I'll have to choose the one that gave me the best laugh - among many! I've got to go with Greg's #8. A tough choice, since there were no weak ones in the lot! Well done, all!
 
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I could be wrong but it looks to me as if eight already has two votes so has won, anyway.

My actual favourite was my own "tra la la" limerick. I guess I have a silly streak.
 
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quote:
Originally posted by BobHale:
I could be wrong but it looks to me as if eight already has two votes so has won, anyway.

My actual favourite was my own "tra la la" limerick. I guess I have a silly streak.


I thought about voting for this one, Bob. On the second reading of it, it made me giggle. I have a silly streak, too, in what makes me laugh. How else can I justify liking Abbott and Costello?
 
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No Geoff #12 was not Hab's, it was mine.
 
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Ooops! Thanks for setting it straight. What else did I mess up?
 
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Greg, where to now??? Here are a few suggestions: https://www.walesonline.co.uk/...iantly-long-10838748
 
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Congrats, Greg!
 
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Greg, you are up next! Wink
 
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Oops sorry. Been on a break over Easter and haven't looked here for ages, I didn't even get around to voting. I will come up with a new location in a day or two.


Regards Greg
 
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I probably would have voted for Bob's #10.


Regards Greg
 
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And I would have voted for Bob's #11, If the last "Tra la la" in each of lines 3 and 5, were replaced (either way round), with on the one hand "Oom pa pa" and on the other "La de dah".


Regards Greg
 
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What's our next place for the limerick game?
 
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Sorry for the delay, the new destination is Sassafras and I have posted a few details about it in a new Limerick Game thread.


Regards Greg
 
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