I offer you the town of BURTON.

There's one in Texas, and I'm sure there are others floating around the Rand-MacNally's somewhere.

You write the poem and send it to me, and I'll happily take care of the paperwork.

Goodness gracious, I thought everone had runnoft!
I'll scratch my noodle an' see if anythin' resemblin' a Burton falls out.

BYW, did you decide on hooz limrik wuz the beyust in the layust round?

Hey, Haberdashing person, I got me anuther lime rickey, so that'z too fer ewe tue uze as an emitic.

Dont do that! I'm already overdosed on Robert Parker...

Wasn't he an expert on Bordello wines?

Now including a couple of later submissions, TYVM. Always more is better than fewer.

1.
Elizabeth Taylor...Dick Burton...
Were they lovers? I'm really not certain
But of this I am sure:
That despite her allure
She would never have laid Thomas Merton !

2.
I once met a young gal in Burton
Directly she started a-flirtin’
She led me on
Till my money was gone
Now my heart and my pocketbook’s hurtin’


3.
An eager young laddie named Burton
Meant to marry his lassie for certain.
At least that's what he thought
But it all came to naught
When he found out that she was just flirtin'.

4.
A chili feed out in Burton
Left me a-heavin' an' squirtin'
It wuz like eatin' fire
But I sure ain't no liar
Tomorrow I'll be back fer certain!

5.
There's not many rhymes for old Burton--
The lim'ricks I drafted were hurtin'!
But I found diversion
Through total immersion
In youubes of comic Paul Merton.

6.
A limerick writer from Burton
Was too shy (and that is for certain)
To highlight her town--
Said she with a frown:
"The rhymes are gross-- 'Spurtin' and 'Squirtin'!"

Burton limericks are up for ten days now.

Cast yer votes, folks!