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Limerick game - Upper Dicker poll Login/Join
 
Member
Picture of Richard English
posted September 17, 2010 09:07
Well folks, here are the limericks and, sadly, I have completely forgotten how to post a poll (it's certainly not intuitive) so I'll just have to hope this has worked - or someone else can sort the damn thing out...

Question:
1.
There’s something about Upper Dicker
That makes a young lad’s heart beat quicker -
It’s Dan’s daughter Daisy,
Who drives the boys crazy
By giving ‘em free reign to lick ‘er.

2.
For all of its faults, Upper Dicker
Allows you to trade your wife quicker –
If you covet a nag
But the wife’s an old hag,
You can barter when she starts to bicker.

("Nag" here is used in the sense "horse")

3.
The thing that made the couple snicker
As they hit town - a bumper sticker:
"I know a lotta
Lower Twatter
Is hard to find in Upper Dicker!"

4.
In Sussex's a town, Upper Dicker
Where people would barter and bicker;
Thus came the name,
Which I hate to defame,
But even a vicar would snicker!

5.
All us folks here in old Upper Dicker
Find each year that our skin must grow thicker.
Do the clods who abuse us
Still think they amuse us
With their limericks which end “Dicker sticker”?

6.
A young lad who roamed Upper Dicker
Caused a Mum and her daughter to bicker:
"But Mum, he's so cute!"
"Darling I've heard his flute's
The town's Number 1 Cherry picker."

Choices:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

 


Richard English
 
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Greg S
posted September 17, 2010 22:15Hide Post
Looks like you've Posted the Poll properly. I've voted.


Regards Greg
 
Posts: 991 | Location: Melbourne AustraliaReply With QuoteReport This Post
<Proofreader>
posted September 18, 2010 05:45
vote here and vote often
 
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Picture of Kalleh
posted September 18, 2010 17:45Hide Post
Mine's in.
 
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posted September 18, 2010 19:19Hide Post
Considering the nature of the submissions, Kalleh, you might want to rephrase that.


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
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Picture of Greg S
posted September 18, 2010 20:08Hide Post
I know it's too late to garner any votes, but I've got the winner right here:

A woman from round Upper Dicker,
So her man could get up 'er slicker,
Would grease up his pole
Which worked on the whole -
Except when it made him come quicker.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S, September 18, 2010 23:37


Regards Greg
 
Posts: 991 | Location: Melbourne AustraliaReply With QuoteReport This Post
<Proofreader>
posted September 19, 2010 05:39
quote:
So her man could get up 'er slicker,

So her man could get up in 'er slicker
 
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Picture of Greg S
posted September 19, 2010 07:36Hide Post
Yep - works even better!


Regards Greg
 
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<Proofreader>
posted September 19, 2010 08:10
Razz
 
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posted September 19, 2010 08:36Hide Post
Wasn't there a soft drink with aphrodisiac properties? I remember a 1950s jingle, "Dr. Pecker is the quicker dicker-upper..."


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
Posts: 6187 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
<Proofreader>
posted September 19, 2010 11:20
I think you have it confused with Cocka-Cola. Or perhaps it was Mountain, Do-me.
 
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posted September 19, 2010 12:45Hide Post
That's Mount N' Do


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
Posts: 6187 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
<Proofreader>
posted September 19, 2010 15:13
So it is.
 
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Picture of Richard English
posted September 20, 2010 01:28Hide Post
Looking good. I've not voted yet myself (because I know the names of the contestants) but I will do so if there's a tie. Thus far the result's looking pretty clear.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
<Proofreader>
posted September 20, 2010 07:42
Wish I had thought of this one sooner.

A virginal lass (Upper Dicker)
Found no man there was willing to sticker.
So one day after supper
She departed from Upper
And in Lower, the whole town did pricker.
 
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Picture of Richard English
posted September 20, 2010 08:29Hide Post
Sadly those limericks added after the close can't count Frown

I do confess to a feeling of slight surprise that there weren't more submissions for this easy rhyme with its plethora of smutty possibilities.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Richard English
posted September 20, 2010 09:00Hide Post
As I am off to Canada on an early flight on Friday I will close the voting on Thursday 23 September at around 1200 BST.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kalleh
posted September 20, 2010 20:08Hide Post
I think (only if you prefer mine, of course!) that you could vote in this competition. Wink

It looks like we have a clear winner anyway, even if you do vote. Any other voters?
 
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Picture of Richard English
posted September 23, 2010 06:35Hide Post
Well, the votes are in and limerick 6 is a clear winner written by...Greg S.

The other limericks were:

Number 1 - Mike
Number 2 - Mike
Number 3 - Greg S
Number 4 - Kalleh
Number 5 - Proofreader

My personal preference was Number 1, with its nice alliteration in L3. Greg's number six was marred for me by the faulty rhyme in L3/4. But they were all very good and so it's now over to Greg for the next destination. I won't be around for three weeks - unless I can find a computer to borrow in Canada.


Richard English
 
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Picture of Greg S
posted September 23, 2010 07:05Hide Post
Good to see Mike back in the game, but where were Bob, Arnie, Stella and Richard (you should have put one in - it probably would have won)? I voted for Kalleh's which I really liked, but my favourite was actually the one I submitted after the event, especially after Proof improved it.

I will open a new thread shortly for the next game, which will be based around the second biggest city in the State of Victoria, behind our capital Melbourne, which is the city of Geelong.


Regards Greg
 
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Picture of Greg S
posted September 23, 2010 07:22Hide Post
I have now posted the new game.


Regards Greg
 
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Picture of Richard English
posted September 23, 2010 09:24Hide Post
I didn't think it would be right for me to submit an entry for my own destination. And in any case, had I won I'd have not been around for a while to sort out the new one.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Kalleh
posted September 23, 2010 20:54Hide Post
Congrats, Greg! I can't even remember which one I voted for.
 
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Picture of arnie
posted September 24, 2010 04:02Hide Post
quote:
where were Bob, Arnie, Stella and Richard
Unlike some others I find writing limericks very difficult and the results are rarely good enough to enter, let alone win. On the rare occasions that my muse visits I might send in an entry, but I can't be included in the same sentence as Bob, Stella, and Richard. Frown


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
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<Proofreader>
posted September 24, 2010 05:52
quote:
Unlike some others I find writing limericks very difficult

Please don't attempt to do this at home. We are trained professionals.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>, September 24, 2010 07:56
 
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Picture of Greg S
posted September 26, 2010 21:07Hide Post
Hi Richard,

I know you wont see this until you get back from Canada, but I'd appreciate your comments when you get back. I understand your dissatisfaction with my imperfect line 3/4 rhyme, and was just wondering if the following minor variation, which is technically no different but works aurally is technically acceptable as a properly formed limerick or not:

A young lad who roamed Upper Dicker
Caused a Mum and her daughter to bicker:
"But Mum, he's so cute!"
"Sweetie I've heard his flute's
The town's Number 1 Cherry picker."


Regards Greg
 
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Picture of Mike
posted September 28, 2010 05:22Hide Post
Hi Greg,

I'm not sure what Richard's response would be, but I am guessing that his objection was not to the word Darling , but to the imperfect rhyme of cute and flute's. The easiest fix would be to move the 's to the beginning of line 5:

A young lad who roamed Upper Dicker
Caused a Mum and her daughter to bicker:
"But Mum, he's so cute!"
"Darling I've heard his flute
Is the town's Number 1 Cherry picker."
 
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<Proofreader>
posted September 28, 2010 05:39
A young lad who roamed Upper Dicker
Caused a Mum and her daughter to bicker:
"Honey, dn't let his flute
Anywhere near your chute
Or he'll tell all the boys and they'll snicker."."
 
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Picture of Greg S
posted September 28, 2010 06:11Hide Post
quote:
but I am guessing that his objection was not to the word Darling , but to the imperfect rhyme of cute and flute's.


Exactly. That's why changing Darling to Sweetie makes it work aurally, because it is then cute's and flute's.

"But Mum he's so cute!" "S-
weetie I've heard his flute's


Thanks for your contribution Proof - love the flute and chute rhyme, but they are no longer bickering within the limerick.


Regards Greg
 
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<Proofreader>
posted September 28, 2010 08:53
quote:
Thanks for your contribution Proof - love the flute and chute rhyme, but they are no longer bickering within the limerick.


Different guy. I think she's a nymphomaniac.
 
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Picture of Richard English
posted September 28, 2010 12:05Hide Post
I have managed to get the use of a computer in Canada. And yes, the objection to the L3/4 rhymes were solely cute/flute's. My solution would simply have been to get rid of the apostrophe s and but the verb "is" into L5.

If I get a chance I'll look back later.


Richard English
 
Posts: 8038 | Location: Partridge Green, West Sussex, UKReply With QuoteReport This Post
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