Dave Barry recently ranted about the sizes of Starbucks coffees, and I have to agree with him. As he says, at Starbucks, "Tall" means small; "Grande" means medium; and "Venti" means large, though Barry says, that for all we know it really means "weasel snot!" Seattle's Best Coffee uses the same terminology, though they call their large coffee "Grande Supremo." Dave says that you shouldn't use the term "Grande Supremo" unless you are "...addressing a tribal warlord who is holding you captive and threatening to burn you at the stake."

He says to just say "small," medium," or "large."

He says if we don't, soon we will have to ask for a "Mega Grandissimaximo Giganto de Humongo-Rama-Lama Ding-Dong decaf!" And, then of course you will have to ask for the key to the "AquaSwooshie." He adds that when that happens, the terrorists will have won.

I don't feel quite that strongly about it, but I do ask for "small," medium," or "large." However, it is probably because I never remember their fancy terms.

I've mentioned this before but one of the things I find amusing is products that have a "medium" size or grade but don't have a "small". My favourite example is that (in UK supermarkets) many brands of bread can be bought as "medium sliced" or "thick sliced". I often ponder in what sense this can be considered "medium". Similarly my local supermarket sells its own brand eggs as medium, large and extra large relegating medium to the meaning of "smallest available".

This seems closely related to the thread where we discussed nice as well as discussing the difference between trainers and consultants.

Everyone has to have a spin on things, I guess. I love Dave Barry's observation . . . but my big problem in Starbucks is that I feel that I need a translator for the entire menu - can't I just get a coffee . . . black??? I know it seems so very wrong, but I like it simple, dark, plain, bitter, oh yes . . . and decaff.

I have a solution: I don't frequent Starbucks. Down at the local mom and pop espresso joint, I just ask for small, medium, or large. BTW, I believe it's vente (as in a wind).

BTW, I believe it's vente (as in a wind).

That makes more sense! I looked up "venti" and found it to be an Italian word for "20.

Here is a link to Dave's article.

Thank you for the link!!!!!!!!! I particularly like the idea of carrying pepper spray for annoying "repeat tellings" of stories. Of course, for the person I would use it on, it might bring about a need to hire a divorce lawyer . . .