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1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures." 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. | ||
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1. Only in Canada...are Hallowe'en costumes designed to fit over snowsuits. 2. Only in Canada...does the average snowblower have more mileage on it than the average car. 3. Only in Canada...does driving improve in winter because the potholes freeze over. 4. Only in Canada...do newspapers devote two pages to news and six to hockey. 5. Only in Canada...does a town own a Zamboni before it owns a bus. 6. Only in Canada...do schoolkids insert a "u" in "harbor", "labor"' and "color" in their American-produced textbooks. 7. Only in Canada...do people know what a "toque" is. 8. Only in Canada...do you chase off a burglar with a hockey stick because you don't own a gun. 9. Only in Canada...can you get forty people out of a swimming pool very quickly by saying "Everybody out of the pool now, please." 10. Only in Canada...would anybody understand the request.."Please pass me a serviette- I just spilled my poutine."  | |||
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Great, Morgan and Duncan! Morgan, did you get #8 from that wonderful movie "Father of the Bride"? That was one of my favorite parts! | |||
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quote: I think the point is that Canadians conform to their racial stereotype as polite, unfailingly well-mannered people, who at a single polite request will do what is asked. Of course I mght be wrong. It is however true that in my travels I have never met a Canadian who a) was anything but unfailingly polite b) was anything but well mannered and respectful of authority c) wasn't a thoroughly NICE person or d) I didn't want to slap  Just kidding. About the last one anyway. Vescere bracis meis. Read all about my travels around the world here. Read even more of my travel writing and poems on my weblog. | |||
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quote: About #9...Bob Hale is on the right track. The crux of the matter is that, in contrast to our American friends who revere "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness", Canadians traditionally pursue "Peace, Order, and Good Government." It has worked so well that the average Canuck will bend over backwards (or hop out of a pool) to keep the peace. #7....a "toque" is indeed a hat or cap, usually wool, with or without a tassel. Seems to have had a Quebec origin. #10....speaking of Quebec, "poutine" also came from there---apparently a fairly recent innovation. The guy who invented it was recently tracked down in a "greasy spoon" in the Eastern Townships.(No kidding!) You take french fries, bury them in cheese curds, cover the whole thing with gravy, and get to your cardiologist as quickly as possible. | |||
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