Have any of you heard of the two crack test? If not, take a guess. If so, how have you seen it used?

Never. OK, but I'll guess:

If somebody can listen to two wisecracks without cracking a smile, they have passed the two-crack test and are officially a grump!

WM

I've nver heard of it either. Perhaps if someone can hear another person cracking his finger joints without cringing he's superhuman?

And I thought they were talking about cocaine!

Any other guesses before I unveil the phrase? Or perhaps some of you have heard of it? Maybe it's generational? I was clueless, but when you find out what it means, it will bring on a smile. Were I to have given you the context, of course, you'd have guessed it.

Never heard of it.

Possible guesses (none of which is even remotely likely)

1. walking along without treading on cracks in the pavement-tread on two and you lose

2. having two chances at doing something (two cracks of the whip)

3. buying boxes of eggs-if two are cracked, buy a different box (I see people in the supermarket all the time changing eggs over from box to box to make up a box of six uncracked ones)

4 something that's far too crude to post on an erudite site like this one

5 (a bit of topical satire) the test Railtrack apply to see if the points are OK, up to two cracks and they don't bother to fix them unless a train derails.

Oh, those are good, Bob.

How about a few more?

Anyone else from an earthquake zone? See two cracks - run like hell!

We have a few from California here, and that's in an earthquake zone. I think the St. Louis area is, too; that's where CJ lives.

Anyway...I will have to give you all a hint I guess. This will make it easy:

The phrase was used by somebody talking about the unprofessional dress of nurses these days, and this was the test that some places have instituted. That should give it away!

quote:

this was the test that some places have instituted....

Are those places "equal-opportunity" employers, employing male nurses too ???


just checking

Earthquakes?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jerry thomas,

I think it would have to be women - with low-slung shirts (first crack) and low-hanging pants (second crack)! We have many parent volunteers (moms) guilty of this... Hilarious...

Before Kalleh's suggestion, I thought something like the butt crack and cleavage, but felt too bashful.

I don't know if it's right or not, but I like KHC's definition.

Tinman

Yes, KHC is right on. Apparently that is the test for appropriate dress for nurses. And, no, Jerry, it doesn't consider both genders. Still, about 92% of nurses are female, so it works for most.

I have a colleague who would most definitely fail this test!

Astonishingly, I have colleagues who would fail this test as well. Those wild Librarians! Many of my customers would fail as well . . . and not just girls.

I would also suggest that perhaps it's not just low-slung pants, but also very short skirts which can reveal the lower set of cracks.

Is this somehow related to scrotums again? <evil grin>

quote:

I have a colleague who would most definitely fail this test!

What is the criterion for failure? Showing or not showing?

How do I go about applying to be the test administrator?

Tinman

Richard, it all depends, doesn't it?

quote:

How do I go about applying to be the test administrator?

I would imagine it would take intensive one-on-one training.

Well, I am very sorry to say that I failed the 2-crack test today...at least one portion of it.

Woohoo! Go Kalleh! Which part failed?

Well, at my age (which we won't discuss!) let's just say the lower crack wouldn't be a pretty sight! It was my top, which a colleague pointed out to me. I hadn't realized it really. I had a nice necklace on and was sick of all the winter sweaters and turtlenecks and was trying to get into spring. I guess I went too far! When I realized it, I couldn't help but think of this thread. [Always thinking of Wordcraft!]

Kalleh: I am very sorry to say that I failed the 2-crack test today

I'm not sorry in the least!

I am embarassed by the wierd trivia that fills my mind. E.g., the name of the lower "crack" is the intragluteal notch.

quote:

the intragluteal notch.

Interesting. As in understand it,
intra- means 'within' (one thing), but(t)
inter- means 'between' (two things).

On that basis, I'd have expected it to be the intergluteal notch.

Hmmm, interesting point. I do believe the word is "intergluteal," and, as you can see, another term for it is "internatal." I saw the "crack" called "notch," "sulcus" and "cleft."

"Intragluteal" would be within the gluteus muscle, such as an intragluteal abcess that might occur after an intramuscular injection.

When taking the two crack test, what is a passing grade: to have one or zero cracks showing but not two?

I'm reminded of the old rule on evening dress for women: you show your legs or you show your bosom, but you don't show both.

Well, this was pertaining to professional nurses, on the job, so passing the test meant zero cracks. However, normally, I'd say one is preferable.

Welcome to Wordcraft, Wally! Check your PMs.

quote:

I'm reminded of the old rule on evening dress for women: you show your legs or you show your bosom, but you don't show both.

A rule generally disregarded by supermodels and their ilk. (By the way, how do supermodels differ from ordinary models, apart from their receiving greater media attention?)

And welcome, Wally.

quote:

how do supermodels differ from ordinary models

More money, more tantrums, more publicity.

quote:

Originally posted by arnie:

quote:

how do supermodels differ from ordinary models

More money, more tantrums, more publicity.

No more talent, then.

Is there any talent in being a model?

Only a talent for self-promotion, I would suggest.

I don't know if it can be classed as "talent" or not, but since some individuals seem to have a certain "something" that draws attention or interest - over other folks, the French phrase "I don't know what" seems to fit.

Bob

quote:

some individuals seem to have a certain "something" that draws attention or interest - over other folks, the French phrase "I don't know what" seems to fit.

That's probably what most people think, wondering why "celebrities" who seem able to do no more than many other people could do - and often do it less capably.

But what we don't know about is the massive self-promotion that most of them do: the letters they write; the emails they send; the telephone calls they make; the networking they do; the introductions they follow up; the favours they grant to decision-makers. As Mae West is supposed to have said (although of whom, I don't know) "She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong"

I think BobK has a point, though. Model or not, some people just have that appeal; what is the French word?

quote:

I think BobK has a point, though. Model or not, some people just have that appeal; what is the French word?

"Je ne sais quoi" (I don't know what)

And I surely don't know what it is that many of the so-called celebrities have: it's rarely looks, talent or intelligence.

Getting back to the crack test (I didn't read far enough back the first time)....

The Limelighters sang of an aspiring actress (this was in the 1960's) named Vikki Dugan who "wore a dress cut so low in the back as to reveal a new cleavage".

In the song, this was referred to as a "callipygian cleft". Nice sentiment, eh?

Live updates as events occur, Film at 11!

Bob

I love callipygian cleft! I will definitely use that in the future as I have a colleague who continually shows hers.

quote:

(By the way, how do supermodels differ from ordinary models, apart from their receiving greater media attention?)

Most models are not known by name. A model became a "supermodel" when she received name recognition.

One of my favourite threads in this forum was the 'Pleasingly Plump' thread from five years ago. "Callipygian" is mentioned several times in the thread.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: arnie,

quote:

callipygian cleft

An overlarge one would presumably be referred to as a steatopygian slot.

Homingpygian:
Buttocks that are trained to return home?

Carrierpygian:
Buttocks that are trained to carry messages? (these ones would need a pygianhole)

quote:

One of my favourite threads in this forum was the 'Pleasingly Plump' thread from five years ago. "Callipygian" is mentioned several times in the thread.

In which CJS made his Wordcraft debut!

Just checked out the pronunciation of callipygous, as I had never heard the word spoken, and was surprised to hear the Merriam-Webster robovoice say "call-eh-PIE-gous", when I had been reading it as "cal-LIP-eh-gous."

WM

quote:

Originally posted by wordmatic:

In which CJS made his Wordcraft debut!

REALLY??? I think he was around from waaaay back, but had a computer glitch that forced him to return under a new name.

I'm reminded of the women who wear duck dresses. So short that if they bend over you can see their quack.

quote:

I think he was around from waaaay back

He was; that thread is from 19 July 2002. CJ registered on 20 July that year. That's just a couple of days after the board started. I joined around then, too.

The computer glitch happened in 2004 and CJ re-registered as Chris J. Strolin on 22 March 2004.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: arnie,

Yes, that pleasingly plump thread was fun; but my favorite thread was Morgan's "Wives" thread. I wonder whatever happened to FatStan.