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Some say Kalleh's a prude. Don't continue to brood. Life is too short. Take a long snort... Time to be a bit lewd!  Sorry if I have been a bit of a pill lately. I am reminded of a nursery rhyme: There once was a girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good, But when she was bad, she was horrid! I fear that I've been a bit horrid lately.  Sorry! | |||
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. [This message was edited by TrossL on Thu Jun 5th, 2003 at 7:35.] | |||
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quote: I agree with you completely, TrossL, about limericks. In fact, I don't believe there has been any discussion of limerick "correctness" in a long time. | |||
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Not since a certain abdication. (...sniff!) | |||
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Before my meaning is once again misconstrued (a favorite-sounding word of mine) allow me to point out the following: "(...sniff!)" translates roughly to "Oh, poor, pitiful me. Isn't it a shame I'm no longer King." and is not to be confused with: "(Sniff!)" which would run more along the lines of "You peasants didn't know how good you had it with me as your monarch!" or: "(...Sniff!)" "I have unresolved gender identity issues." or: "(SNIFF!)" "I do have a cold but I don't have a hankie." One reason English is the world's greatest language is that such slight differences in form can create such wide differences in meaning. (And also, I never noticed it before but "sniff" is definitely one of those words when, after you write or type it a few times, seems to lose all meaning. Try it. "sniff" "sniff" "sniff" "sniff?" "sniff??" "Is that even a word?") | |||
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I have to say this isn't mine. I found it in a newsgroup. A young lad from Abergavenny Proved himself foolish when he Hiked out to Blorenge For tea and an orange And nowhere to spend a penny. Note: Blorenge is a hill near Abergavenny, South Wales. | |||
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You have to say that wasn't yours?? I would have thought you might have said "I rush to say this isn't mine" or words to that effect. The redeeming quality of this limerick (possibly the only one) is that it presents a plausable rhyme for the supposedly unrhymable "orange." There are, however, at least two more rhymes for this bane to poets. Both are nouns and one is found in England but not in the states. Anyone? | |||
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I have checked my rhyming dictionary and rhymezone with no luck. I give..., especially knowing your penchant for perfect rhymes!  I could think of some "close, but no cigar" words.Welcome to Paul and to Bear; Love all your posts everywhere! Stay as prolific; You're just terrific! With you...we'll never be threadbare!  [CJ, do you allow homonyms? If not, I can conjure up a line with "pair".) | |||
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They don't exactly fit your geographic criteria, but I recall "silver" and "purple" as two candidates for rhyming difficulty. Does this get even one of the pair you had in mind? | |||
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Nope, though it's odd how so many colors are rhymeless. It's not surprising that you weren't able to google up (or whatever) the answers to this one since one is more than obscure and the other... Well, you'll see. The first rhyme for "orange," the obscure one, is a technical botanical term dealing with lifeforms which spread by ways of spores. The part of the, for example, mushroom in which the spores are produced is called the "sporange." At those very few times this word is used, it rhymes with "orange." The second one is one that I thought our trans-Atlantic friends might have gotten since it is used in England and pretty much no where else in the world to the best of my knowledge. What do you call that piece of hardware, usually found in threes, that attaches a door to a door frame? A "door 'inge" of course! (Heh, heh, heh!) | |||
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Darn!!! And I knew "sporange" too! I was rhyming it with "porridge". | |||
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While it's good to learn that the word oranges can rhyme with the Cockney phrase "door 'inges" may I make the point please they come in twos and in threes - and some doors can even have four 'inges! Richard English | |||
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Not that I would ever want to generate controversy, but...not everyone agrees with sporange/orange rhyming. See, for example, http://www.wiskit.com/marilyn/sporange.html I don't have access to NI3 at the moment but knowing of the existence of sporANGiophytes I would expect to pronounce sporange "sporANGE," subject always to trans-pondian variations. Is anyone closer to the dictionary? | |||
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My canine companions, say I, While asleep talk of pie in the sky. They don't tell the truth. Though I feel that's uncouth I'll have to let sleeping dogs lie. | |||
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ptyx & tones" Said Mother Jones, "May break my bones, it's true, But words will never harm me Unless I misconstrue ~~~ jerry | |||
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Headline writers are all free to choose Their own words to introduce news Mental patient escapes Commits several rapes And the headline reads, "Nut bolts & screws." ~~~ jerry | |||
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First off, under the heading of "Credit Where Credit is Due," well done, R.E., on your door 'inge limerick. Secondly, I stand semi-corrected on the sporange/orange rhyme debate. Having wasted some 30 minutes of my life checking various sources (and, yes, I know, the pursuit of information is never a waste. Still...) it turns out that the two words do not rhyme exactly. "Sporange" is frequently listed with the "short a" ending of AHNJ or the schwa ending of "UNJ" while "orange" is pronounced more with a "short e" ending as "ENJ." If I had not jumped up on that particular stump at the top of my lungs quite so frequently in the past, I might have been able to argue for the rhyme. Ah, well. All things considered, I'd judge that they rhyme well enough for, say, a limerick if not for an absolute perfectionist. Which brings up this Marilyn vos Savant and her Guiness World Book of Records Highest IQ business. Has anyone ever read her column? It's frequently found in "Parade Magazine," a crappy little newspaper insert filled with supermarket coupons most often found in Sunday papers. The "Marilyn was Wrong" site was interesting in that it brought back a memory of when I myself noted an error in one of her answers (I forget which one; I didn't read the entire website) which, of course, made me feel pretty good about myself at the time. Until, that is, I stopped to ask myself "If this woman is so damn smart, why is she writing her little column for a crappy little newspaper insert?" | |||
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Christopher J. Strolin!! (Think, your mother's voice when you were 10... You're in trouble now mister...) Good Grief! Cut the woman some slack. Here she gets this label of smartest woman when she was younger, but then what can she do?? I mean, who wants to hire a know-it-all? So she parlays her 15 minutes of fame into a "crappy little newspaper insert"... (Although, I like Parade magazine. It's one of the first things I read from the Sunday paper after the comics and before the crossword puzzle...) At least she has a job and makes some money so she can pay some taxes so the government will have the funds to fix the roads in this country and finance our wars... She is not a god (or goddess) so she is bound to be wrong at some point in her life. Ease up a bit... (Lecture's over--go to your room and think about your intolerance for smart women...) | |||
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quote: | |||
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Oh, CJ, I miss the "King" and all his rants. This post is reminiscent....For all you newbies, you may enjoy reading some of the posts in the limerick threads. We had a great time! | |||
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Limerick writers who count on door 'inges Seeking rhymes for kumuats and oranges Confide to their friends That the answer depends On how far their need to explore ranges. | |||
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There once was a hussy from Brussels Who screwed only guys who had muscles. She nixed skinny men, Gave Arnold a ten! What fun from the muscles she hustles! Shoe apparently hasn't used the word "hustle" the way I have seen it used, so he asked that I link to a definition to make it clearer. See the slang usage in the second definition. | |||
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The cute hockey player from Lake Placid, Off the ice, to relax, he dropped acid, His smooth moves had girls charmed, Now he finds he's alarmed; That the acid has made his shtick flaccid. [This message was edited by TrossL on Mon Jun 30th, 2003 at 11:44.] | |||
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Without raising quibble or quiddity Concerning the lack of tumidity, Could the cause be virginity In that vicinity? Could it be due to female frigidity? If you truly believe that acidity Is the proximate cause of flaccidity, Will then alkalinity Cause masculinity, Thereby restoring rigidity? | |||
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Hic... you are a freaking genius man... Dude... damn... I'm blown away... you're the man... dude... (I'm sure no one can tell that I have just watched, back to back no less, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Don't you just love having a house full of teens and tweens on summer vacation and it's raining outside all day...?) In all seriousness, as far as one can in a thread about limericks, (Don't you hate it when someone splits infinitives and doesn't offer you the biggest piece?) that was pure brilliance Hic. Your talent does indeed stretch from here to everywhere... [This message was edited by TrossL on Mon Jun 30th, 2003 at 20:56.] | |||
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I confess I've had little success in persuading the girls to say "yes". Would the use of this "acid" convince even the placid to protest a little bit less? Richard English | |||
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Hmmm... I may have to recrown myself. quote: | |||
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schtick or shtick, either way is correct according to dictionary.com... anyway the hockey player's smooth moves were his shtick. His signature style for getting the girls. It was supposed to be a play on words. Hockey players all have sticks and this one also has his shtick... And if you pronounce player with nearly one syllable, it flows fine. | |||
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quote: An Alternative Suggestion If your Rolls doesn't leave the gals sighing, R.E., I suspect you're not trying! Their resolve won't collapse With acid. Perhaps It's Hog's Back you should be applying? Two notes: 1.) A very wise person once wrote "Making love to a drunken woman is like winning a philosophical argument with a dead goldfish." (Two points to anyone identifying that source IF they care to admit recognizing it!) The punchline of the above limerick is just that, a punchline, and nothing more. I definitely do not endorse the "seduction-by-alcohol" techniques that seem to be so popular with the more Neandertal-minded among us. 2.) While it is possible that I have smoked more marijuana than everyone else on this board combined (with two exceptions - and you know who you are!) and, additionally, while I do advocate its use as, let's say, an enhancement to male/female relationships, I never in my life have dropped acid. HOWEVER!! R.E., if you're game, you strike me as being the absolute perfect person with whom to experience that particular adventure for the first time! Now that would be worth the airfare. And relax, we'll leave the Rolls in the "GARE-ij." | |||
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Ice hockey, the Canucks report, Is often a sobering sport. And those who drop acid This side of Lake Placid, Are risking a session in court. | |||
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May I also chime in with my praise of Hic's absolutely fabulous limericks? You are waaaay out of my league, Hic! [No comments from the peanut gallery, CJ! ] | |||
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It looks as if his majesty is back - albeit on the wrong day. Rex tremendae maiestatis qui salvandos salvas gratis salva me fons pieas ! Thomas of Celano Non curo ! Si metrum no habet, non est poema. Read all about my travels around the world here. Read even more of my travel writing and poems on my weblog. | |||
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CJ-- Even though you harshly critisized my limerick, I am still your loyal subject and respect your opinion. I also know that you are a total computer neophyte and will never be able to find out the meaning to Bob's latin phrase. So, here is the literal English translation: King of tremendous Majesty, who saves those-to-be-saved free, save me, Fount of piety. | |||
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... here's the quote in question. quote: ,,,,, and, for those who enjoy using less popular languages, here's the same thing ..... in Polish! Panie w grozie swej bezmierny, Zbawisz z łaski lud Twój wierny, Zbaw mnie, zdroju miłosierny. [This message was edited by jerry thomas on Wed Jul 2nd, 2003 at 11:14.] | |||
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quote: mea culpa damned typos again Non curo ! Si metrum no habet, non est poema. Read all about my travels around the world here. Read even more of my travel writing and poems on my weblog. | |||
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TrossL, dearest and most loyal subject, I didn't criticize your limerick harshly, I editted it in a helpful and supportive manner (and, I might add, as requested). And, yes, while I admit to being uncomfortably behind the power curve in regards to my skills surfing the net (a side-thought: If I become King again, will my subjects serf the net?) I am not, appearances to the contrary, entirely inept. I was able to find a Latin assistence site which helped me translate Bob's pean a bit more completely, keeping in mind the nature of the thread in which it was given: King of tremendous Majesty, Who saves those-to-be-saved free, Here is the thing - We miss you, Dear King. So save me, O Fount of piety. Not the smoothest piece of writing we've seen but considering the fact that something is always lost in translation, allowances must be made. All in all, very touching, B.H. I'm giving serious thought to reascending the throne. | |||
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I crown you King, dear Hic, Of lim'ricks, you're my pick! Your humor is quick; Your meter does click. Your words reverberate "kick"! [Hic, you also may be the King of having the best name for writing a risque limerick; I had to restrain myself!] | |||
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[Blushes crimson. Thank you, ladies.] | |||
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I have to confess that, not only have I never "dropped acid" but also that I would even know what it is or how one drops it. Would it not break the bottle? Richard English | |||
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In my ignorance I just wonder why those who choose to take LSD don't simply refer to the practice as, say, "taking LSD"? I suppose it is just another example of many people's love for euphemisms (which generally speaking I dislike since they can often confuse. I remember the first time an American (in Leicester Square) asked where the nearest "bathroom" was and I directed him to a hotel making the point that he would need to book a room. He then explained that he meant a "restroom" and again I misunderstood him, thinking he had said "restaurant". I did, eventually get his meaning and was able to direct him to the public lavatories (another euphemism, I know, since a "lavatory" is actually a place where you wash - and washing is usually only incidental to the main purpose of the establishment). Richard English | |||
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You know, I sometimes find it rather difficult to believe that anyone in England can fail to be aware of the more common US words given the number of US films and television programs we see. I flat out don't believe that anyone can be unaware that an American saying "bathroom" or "restroom" is asking for a toilet especially as "bathroom" is also commonly used here with the same meaning. OF course RE is very old ... Non curo ! Si metrum no habet, non est poema. Read all about my travels around the world here. Read even more of my travel writing and poems on my weblog. | |||
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From the Vancouver Courier, this article, entitled "The Ferris Experience" might be enlightening. It's written in easy-to-understand British English.  | |||
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And, what's more this was when I was working as a guest lecturer at the College for Distributive Trades in Leicester Square - nearly thirty years ago. I had never heard the expression "bathroom" used in that sense although I had heard the term "cloakroom" used. Even more obscure, I suggest. Richard English | |||
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quote: People don't take drugs anymore; they "do" drugs. They don't eat lunch; they "do" lunch. We can now replace all action verbs with the ubiquitous "do". This is progress? Tinman | |||
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quote: Well, Bob, in all fairness, we in the states are probably the worst about knowing other cultural nuances. However, I am curious; what do you call "bathrooms"? Does cloakroom mean bathroom? I would think it was for "cloaks" (meaning loose out garment, such as capes? Does it mean coats, too?). I must say, I never did much like the term "restroom", and I am not sure how it came to mean "bathroom". Of course, now when I think about it, in most bathrooms you can't bathe, either! I also think saying "ladies' room" is a bit uppity, but I do use it occasionally, I suppose. I never use "lavatory" nor "washroom" because I hate those terms, but many people do, especially the latter. Then, of course there's the slang words like "john" or "can". So, when all is said and done, I am stuck with "bathroom". [This message was edited by Kalleh on Wed Jul 9th, 2003 at 8:15.] | |||
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Just how far back do you want to go? In Henry the Eigth's reign there was, at Hampton court palace, a huge building to cope with the needs of the many hundreds of staff employed there. It was known as "The Great House of Easement" which strike me as a particularly appropriate name! Lavatory, which is a name derived from the Latin for "wash" had become the normal name by the 1850s. However, when the railways started to install these facilities they orginally had two compartments, one named lavatory and the other named toilet (where one washed) Eventually to save space, one compartment was deemed sufficient to meet both needs and it took the name "toilet". This is probably the most commonly accepted "polite" term in the UK, although there are, as has been observed, many others. What all the euphemisms have in common is that they eventually become unacceptable and another euphemism is created. Lavatory is certainly well on its way towards unacceptability and I did read a posting once where lady found herself unable to write the word and called it "an item of plumbing"! Cloakroom, by the way, is a place where you hang or deposit your outer garments and any other items that you don't want to be bothered with. However, because the lavatories and washing facilities are usually located in the same area, it is possible to avoid using the "L-word" by asking directions to the cloakroom. In England it's best to avoid both bathroom and restroom since neither expression is common. Probably the best bet in public places is to ask for "the ladies'" or "the gents'" which is understood everywhere and is considered quite polite. All public buildings in England will have at least one of each since this is a legal requirement. They are not, though, obliged to make the facilities available to other than those who are there on business. In other words, you can't just walk in off the street and demand to use the facilities, although most pubs and the like will be quite happy for people so to do. In a private house then probably "toilet" is best since few private homes will have separate facilities for each sex. Richard English [This message was edited by Richard English on Wed Jul 9th, 2003 at 9:03.] | |||
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But, "toilet" sounds so crass. In most U.S. homes "bathrooms" have "bathtubs", so I am for "bathrooom", at least here. In England, I will say "ladies" room, but I hate to say "toilet." | |||
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Only because you let it! Many English homes have separate toilets - it is actually a significant sales point. You run the risk of being directed to the wrong place since your host, might quite reasonably, assume that you genuinely just wished to wash your hands. There are other euphemisms that you can try if you wish of which "loo" (don't ask me its origin) is probably the most common and acceptable. "John" or "can" are US expressions that might be understood but which would be considered rather strange. Richard English | |||
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