1
On the west edge of England is Wales
With a Language Police that fills gaols
It generates howls
By having no vowels
You'll find every spelling rule fails

2
There once was a woman of Wales
Who told such fantastical tales
They called her a witch
So with a quick twitch
She turned all of them into snails

3
A woebegone wanker of Wales
Whose life had been woe and travails
Fell into a well
He ended in hell
At last he is where he prevails

4
The U.K. has a lovely place, Wales,
Where fishermen have some great tales:
The fish with no scales,
The shredding of sails,
But - the best is of gals and their males!

5
A fisherman sailing from Wales
Encountered some punishing gales.
I fear he will drown
'Cause the boat's going down
No matter how quickly he bails

6
The schooner departed from Wales
But soon they saw mackerel scales
The Captain looked haunted
"It's wind that I wanted
But now I see threatening gales!"

7
Camilla? Princess of Wales?
“Never,” old QE2 wails
Of Cambridge? perhaps,
But that leads to traps
And all of the grief it entails

8
A coal miner living in Wales
Has coughing and wheezes and râles
The owners don't care
'Bout the dust in the air
And the damage to lungs that entails


9
A kinky young couple from Wales
Received, in plain wrap, in the mails,
Condoms and campions,
Tongs, tubes and tampons —
I’ll spare you the further details.

10
Wobbly old William of Wales
Drank more than his share of ales
To sleep it off he
Called constable C.
Who gave him keys to two gaols

11
I must write a limerick on Wales,
But up to the others, mine pales.
The meter they'll shred,
The ending? "It's dead!"
Along with my others - it fails!

12
The sardonic cynics of Wales
Impale politician’s tall tales,
Like, “We’re not in recession!”,
“Trump won the election!”,
And “Bill Clinton never inhales.”

13
There once was an old man from Wales
Whose diet consisted of snails
He liked the slime
He thought it sublime
But he didn't much care for the shells

14
A crotchety old man from Wales
Spent much of his time in the jails
Every Saturday night
He'd have a good fight
Her was mean and harder than nails

15
He dined upon pheasants and quails
That arrogant young man from Wales
He didn't much care
For fancy French fare
Especially those damnable snails

And this one, by haberdasher, is disqualified because… well I am sure you can see why…

"I've written a book about whales
Beside which my other work pales.
My First Mate," said Herman,
"Urged 'Write it in German!
T'would increase a latte my sales...'"

Question:
Which of these fine entries tickles your fancy?

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

I'll take #8, but since the poll only goes to #5, it may not count.

As for Hab's one that doesn't count, I encourage him to write a complete parody entitled Moby Dork! Delightful job, Hab!

Well, there is a very tired joke about a <fill in your favorite derogatee> who's so stupid [s]he thought Moby Dick is a venereal disease...

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:
[s]he thought Moby Dick is a venereal disease...

I knew about Mobile Dick, the gigolo.

**********

Important


**********

Something went wrong when I posted the poll and only 5 entries were shown as options. (There was also a mistake in one of the entries.)


It's now fixed so can you vote again if you had already voted. Fixing it erases previous votes.

Geoff you will need to add your vote in the poll.

As always I'm confused about the poll. Do 1 and 7 have votes, or is it 2 and 8? The numbers appear above their limerick, yet it seems the reverse for the poll. Can anyone explain this to me?

Still befuddled Geoff

The number is BELOW the associated bar. It's a "feature" of the program.

One more time.

Read the limericks.

Each one is written with its number.

Choose a number.

In the Voting form there is a circle by each number. Click the circle for the number you chose.

Click VOTE

THAT'S IT! How it looks in the SEE POLL RESULTS is completely IRRELEVANT when voting. The person running the poll needs to understand it YOU DON'T. IT DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU>


Just click the circle next to the number then Click VOTE. Then go and make a cup of tea, JOB DONE.

Here's an idea. Don't look at the results. Ask someone.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

Sorry Bob. I did not ask to have brain damage.

Geoff. See your PMs

Sheesh!! 15 official plus one unofficial entry... a veritable rash of prolificity!

Can the author of 13 14 15 make him/her/them self known to me in a PM as I accidently lost some of the information.

And can somebody else cast a vote please as we only have three votes so far and it's a three way tie.

To quote Bob Hale, "Sod all." It's no use; the game is dead.

Oh? Well, that remains to be seen. The Game is dead, Long live the Game.

If we're going down, let's go Down Under. How about going to PERTH next.

For the record the limerickers were

1, 5, 6, 8 haberdasher
2, 3, 7, 10 Geoff
4, 11 Kalleh
9, 12 shufitz
13,14,15 tinman

For the record, it's probably worth
When proposing the next place (it's Perth)
A separate thread
(If the game isn't dead
And of entries there isn't a dearth.)

Agreed. I’ll start the new thread tomorrow.

Done. But I didn't mean to cut short any conversation on Wales - surely someone has a comment or two?

Tinman, Shu - nice to see your keystrokes again !

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:
Oh? Well, that remains to be seen. The Game is dead, Long live the Game.

If we're going down, let's go Down Under. How about going to PERTH next.

I feel like we're going to Hel! https://www.google.com/search?...ceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:
Oh? Well, that remains to be seen. The Game is dead, Long live the Game.

If we're going down, let's go Down Under. How about going to PERTH next.

I feel like we're going to Hel! https://www.google.com/search?...ceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

I haven't been to Hell but I have been to Hella

With Helen? But then we get into the issue of the aspirate "H."

hab: my comment on limerick #8: this immediately brought to mind that great little miniseries, "The Indian Doctor."

Why only 3 votes on this poll? I went back & tried to vote again - thinking I might have forgotten to - but nope, our trusty electronice voting machine dinged me for trying to cheat

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
Why only 3 votes on this poll?

I wish I knew. And How did we arrive at Perth as the next location?

quote:

Originally posted by Geoff:

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
Why only 3 votes on this poll?

I wish I knew. And How did we arrive at Perth as the next location?

We arrived at Perth because hab suggested it and as two of the three votes went to limericks he had sent I decided to let it be.

That makes sense!

To quote Katisha, "My idea exactly!" It's an affecting tale, and quite true.

Oh, and so far a grand total of five submissions.

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
hab: my comment on limerick #8: this immediately brought to mind that great little miniseries, "The Indian Doctor."

I liked i too, Bethree.

I'm the one who voted for 8. It could only have been Hab's.

Well, I don't really try to disguise their authorship

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
...my comment on limerick #8: this immediately brought to mind that great little miniseries, "The Indian Doctor."

You mean Peter Sellers in "The Millionairess"? With Sophia Loren ?

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:

quote:

Originally posted by bethree5:
...my comment on limerick #8: this immediately brought to mind that great little miniseries, "The Indian Doctor."

You mean Peter Sellers in "The Millionairess"? With Sophia Loren ?

pretty sure bethree5 means this... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Indian_Doctor as it's about an Indian Doctor in a Welsh village in the sixties.