Wordcraft Home Page    Wordcraft Community Home Page    Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  Wordplay    A lovely day in Wales
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
A lovely day in Wales Login/Join
 
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted
1
On the west edge of England is Wales
With a Language Police that fills gaols
It generates howls
By having no vowels
You'll find every spelling rule fails

2
There once was a woman of Wales
Who told such fantastical tales
They called her a witch
So with a quick twitch
She turned all of them into snails

3
A woebegone wanker of Wales
Whose life had been woe and travails
Fell into a well
He ended in hell
At last he is where he prevails

4
The U.K. has a lovely place, Wales,
Where fishermen have some great tales:
The fish with no scales,
The shredding of sails,
But - the best is of gals and their males!

5
A fisherman sailing from Wales
Encountered some punishing gales.
I fear he will drown
'Cause the boat's going down
No matter how quickly he bails

6
The schooner departed from Wales
But soon they saw mackerel scales
The Captain looked haunted
"It's wind that I wanted
But now I see threatening gales!"

7
Camilla? Princess of Wales?
“Never,” old QE2 wails
Of Cambridge? perhaps,
But that leads to traps
And all of the grief it entails

8
A coal miner living in Wales
Has coughing and wheezes and râles
The owners don't care
'Bout the dust in the air
And the damage to lungs that entails


9
A kinky young couple from Wales
Received, in plain wrap, in the mails,
Condoms and campions,
Tongs, tubes and tampons —
I’ll spare you the further details.

10
Wobbly old William of Wales
Drank more than his share of ales
To sleep it off he
Called constable C.
Who gave him keys to two gaols

11
I must write a limerick on Wales,
But up to the others, mine pales.
The meter they'll shred,
The ending? "It's dead!"
Along with my others - it fails!

12
The sardonic cynics of Wales
Impale politician’s tall tales,
Like, “We’re not in recession!”,
“Trump won the election!”,
And “Bill Clinton never inhales.”

13
There once was an old man from Wales
Whose diet consisted of snails
He liked the slime
He thought it sublime
But he didn't much care for the shells

14
A crotchety old man from Wales
Spent much of his time in the jails
Every Saturday night
He'd have a good fight
Her was mean and harder than nails

15
He dined upon pheasants and quails
That arrogant young man from Wales
He didn't much care
For fancy French fare
Especially those damnable snails

And this one, by haberdasher, is disqualified because… well I am sure you can see why…

"I've written a book about whales
Beside which my other work pales.
My First Mate," said Herman,
"Urged 'Write it in German!
T'would increase a latte my sales...'"

Question:
Which of these fine entries tickles your fancy?

Choices:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15

 

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
I'll take #8, but since the poll only goes to #5, it may not count.

As for Hab's one that doesn't count, I encourage him to write a complete parody entitled Moby Dork! Delightful job, Hab!
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Well, there is a very tired joke about a <fill in your favorite derogatee> who's so stupid [s]he thought Moby Dick is a venereal disease...
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by haberdasher:
[s]he thought Moby Dick is a venereal disease...
I knew about Mobile Dick, the gigolo.
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
**********

Important


**********

Something went wrong when I posted the poll and only 5 entries were shown as options. (There was also a mistake in one of the entries.)


It's now fixed so can you vote again if you had already voted. Fixing it erases previous votes.

Geoff you will need to add your vote in the poll.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
As always I'm confused about the poll. Do 1 and 7 have votes, or is it 2 and 8? The numbers appear above their limerick, yet it seems the reverse for the poll. Can anyone explain this to me?

Still befuddled Geoff
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
The number is BELOW the associated bar. It's a "feature" of the program.
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
One more time.

Read the limericks.

Each one is written with its number.

Choose a number.

In the Voting form there is a circle by each number. Click the circle for the number you chose.

Click VOTE

THAT'S IT! How it looks in the SEE POLL RESULTS is completely IRRELEVANT when voting. The person running the poll needs to understand it YOU DON'T. IT DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU>


Just click the circle next to the number then Click VOTE. Then go and make a cup of tea, JOB DONE.

Here's an idea. Don't look at the results. Ask someone.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Sorry Bob. I did not ask to have brain damage.
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
Geoff. See your PMs


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bethree5
posted Hide Post
Sheesh!! 15 official plus one unofficial entry... a veritable rash of prolificity!
 
Posts: 2578 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
Can the author of 13 14 15 make him/her/them self known to me in a PM as I accidently lost some of the information.

And can somebody else cast a vote please as we only have three votes so far and it's a three way tie.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
To quote Bob Hale, "Sod all." It's no use; the game is dead.
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Oh? Well, that remains to be seen. The Game is dead, Long live the Game.

If we're going down, let's go Down Under. How about going to PERTH next.
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
For the record the limerickers were

1, 5, 6, 8 haberdasher
2, 3, 7, 10 Geoff
4, 11 Kalleh
9, 12 shufitz
13,14,15 tinman


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
For the record, it's probably worth
When proposing the next place (it's Perth)
A separate thread
(If the game isn't dead
And of entries there isn't a dearth.)


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Agreed. I’ll start the new thread tomorrow.
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Done. But I didn't mean to cut short any conversation on Wales - surely someone has a comment or two?

Tinman, Shu - nice to see your keystrokes again !
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by haberdasher:
Oh? Well, that remains to be seen. The Game is dead, Long live the Game.

If we're going down, let's go Down Under. How about going to PERTH next.

I feel like we're going to Hel! https://www.google.com/search?...ceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Geoff:
quote:
Originally posted by haberdasher:
Oh? Well, that remains to be seen. The Game is dead, Long live the Game.

If we're going down, let's go Down Under. How about going to PERTH next.

I feel like we're going to Hel! https://www.google.com/search?...ceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8


I haven't been to Hell but I have been to Hella


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
With Helen? But then we get into the issue of the aspirate "H."
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bethree5
posted Hide Post
hab: my comment on limerick #8: this immediately brought to mind that great little miniseries, "The Indian Doctor."
 
Posts: 2578 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bethree5
posted Hide Post
Why only 3 votes on this poll? I went back & tried to vote again - thinking I might have forgotten to - but nope, our trusty electronice voting machine dinged me for trying to cheat Wink
 
Posts: 2578 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by bethree5:
Why only 3 votes on this poll?
I wish I knew. And How did we arrive at Perth as the next location?
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Geoff:
quote:
Originally posted by bethree5:
Why only 3 votes on this poll?
I wish I knew. And How did we arrive at Perth as the next location?


We arrived at Perth because hab suggested it and as two of the three votes went to limericks he had sent I decided to let it be.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
That makes sense!
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
To quote Katisha, "My idea exactly!" It's an affecting tale, and quite true.
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Oh, and so far a grand total of five submissions.
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by bethree5:
hab: my comment on limerick #8: this immediately brought to mind that great little miniseries, "The Indian Doctor."
I liked i too, Bethree.

I'm the one who voted for 8. It could only have been Hab's.
 
Posts: 6007 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Well, I don't really try to disguise their authorship
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by bethree5:
...my comment on limerick #8: this immediately brought to mind that great little miniseries, "The Indian Doctor."

You mean Peter Sellers in "The Millionairess"? With Sophia Loren ?
 
Posts: 6172 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by haberdasher:
quote:
Originally posted by bethree5:
...my comment on limerick #8: this immediately brought to mind that great little miniseries, "The Indian Doctor."

You mean Peter Sellers in "The Millionairess"? With Sophia Loren ?


pretty sure bethree5 means this... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Indian_Doctor as it's about an Indian Doctor in a Welsh village in the sixties.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9298 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata  
 

Wordcraft Home Page    Wordcraft Community Home Page    Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  Wordplay    A lovely day in Wales

Copyright © 2002-12