And the contenders are

1.
Pele went to windy Xi-an,
and desperately needed the can.
He wasn't discreet -
he went in the street,
and that's when the shit hit the fan.

2.
There once was a youth from Xi-an
Who wanted to be a free man.
To Tiananmen Square
He ventured but there
He, from a shooting spree, ran.

3.
In a village not far from Xi-an
Tiny Kai is the only free man
"What luck," says maid Meifen
Whose very low hymen
Can accommodate this gent's wee span

4.
There once was a woman, Deanne
Who lived in the city Xi-An.
An American beauty,
I so loved that cutie!
But "Rejection's" the name of this man!

5.
Go New York- London-Paris-Milan-
Damascus, then Tokyo, Japan.
Fly near to Formosa
But don’t get much closa,
Or they won’t let you visit Xi An.

6.
If you're hungry and wanting your tea, Anne,
You must wait 'till our train gets to Xian.
You might think that's sad,
But I am still your dad,
And for now you must listen to me, Anne.

7.
A randy young girl from Japan
Decided to go to Xian.
Her aim? To discover
A young Chinese lover.
Who was more than a flesh in her pan.

8.
I once knew a woman, Leanne
Who grew up in the crowded Xi-An.
She spoke in Chinese
And WAS quite a tease,
And her preference was for a He-Man!


What should have been the easiest word EVER was made considerable harder by people insisting on rhyming the first, unstressed, syllable. Thank goodness I didn't choose something longer!

Question:
Votes please.

Choices:
1
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8

 

MORE
VOTES
PLEASE

I've voted three times but it won't register any more.

I voted for Richard's so he wouldn't have to.

I didn't realise my work was so identifiable

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
I've voted three times but it won't register any more.

I didn't realise we could vote more than once.

We can't.

quote:

We can't.

You don't have the required expertise. I went to ITT Technical School of Electronics (Computer Limerick Voting Department).

Ah!
The ITT TSE(CLVD).
I bow, sir, in the presence of such a qualified academic.

If there are no more votes by tomorrow morning (Chinese time) I shall cast my tie-breaking vote.

There were some very clever ones this time. The one I voted for only got my vote, and I was surprised about that. It must have a fatal flaw that I missed.

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:
If there are no more votes by tomorrow morning (Chinese time) I shall cast my tie-breaking vote.

Is it tomorrow there yet? It's the day after tomorrow here in Indiana, USA, but then this place still thinks it's 1887.

I think I see the problem Geoff.
I'm working on Chinese time which runs at a different rate to US time.

I shall go and cast my vote immediately.
It may take a little longer for me to identify all the limerick writers.

Much as I like number one it's over to you Richard with number seven.

Despite my insistence on rhyming both syllables (mine was the voteless No. 2), I voted for one that only rhymed the last, namely No. 1 because it made me laugh.

Well, dang, if I'd voted for my own instead of Richard's, I would have won! BTW, did everyone know who Pele is?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Geoff,

Well mine were 6 and 7. I wrote 6 simply to prove to myself that I could rhyme both syllables - although I agree that the result was workmanlike rather than especially clever or funny.

I was pleased with my number 7 - although I did wonder how many understood my "flesh in her pan" wordplay on "flash in the pan".

I'll think of a suitably challenging destination shortly.

Whose were the others?

5

3

quote:

I did wonder how many understood my "flesh in her pan" wordplay on "flash in the pan".

Having been around firearms from near infancy, I understood the misfire of a flintlock musket or rifle. The phallic appearance of a gun made the pun work for me. Now, who didn't know who Pele is in mine? I'm sure he does have Chinese fans!

Pele was a footballer - but did he have a problem with his bowels?

Kudos to Greg for producing the only truly Sino-centric one.

4 & 8

I wrote them separately and then I realized how close they were! Indeed, all mine seem to be alike. I admire those of you who write very different ones. I suppose OEDILF helps with that.

OK> For my next destination I have chosen the south coast town of Hove. This rhymes with "drove" not with "love".

I will start a new thread.