The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2005 winners:

Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

He may also have Weltenshlong, if he's a world-class prick.

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Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Do other Wordcrafters get this a lot? There have been times where every one else in the room thinks I am completely retarded or racist or whatever, and says "Really?" and I say "Of course not! I was being sarcastic". Humor can never be too dry.

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Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

One of the losers must have been reading this forum. See my post in the last thread here.

You da' bomb, Arnie!

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Originally posted by Sunflower:
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational ... 2005 winners:

Not to be a party pooper or anything, but I think the list is mis-attributed. I know I've seen many of these before and I think it's a lot longer ago than 2005; and I do believe it's the "Style Invitational."

Not to detract from the cleverness of the constructions, and a lot of people will (quite properly) smile at them.

EDIT: Here's an identification of "ignoranus" from 2001.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

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Originally posted by arnie:

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Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

One of the losers must have been reading this forum. See my post in the last thread .

I see this took a couple of years to get to me!
Asa!!!!!!! You're the one who told me to post it!

P.S. I would simplify the definition of "ignoranus", cut out excess verbiage, and leave it simply as

IGNORANUS: a stupid asshole

Pay your audience the implied compliment of being able to figure out where it comes from. (It's also funnier that way.)

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Asa!!!!!!! You're the one who told me to post it!

OK, so now you all know who the ignoranus is!

Now, now, kids. I don't think we need to engage in name-calling - even of ourselves.

Wherever they are from - they're still funny!