Eight is enough (or, rather, that's as many as we're gonna get, I think).
Choose your favorite:
A cockfighting hombre in Oxnard
Whom some folk described as a retard*
Didn't think winter weather
Would distress beak or feather
But a very hard freeze froze his cocks hard
* (pronounced RE-tard)
I once knew an oil man from Oxnard
Whose forefather worked as an oxherd.
Retired now and richer,
Descendant's a twitcher,
He's ticking the African oxbird
A backwards eccentric from Oxnard--
Claimed BA from College of Knocks-Hard--
Used Ladies' not Mens',
And shot all the hens
To keep them out of the foxyard.
I have a small shop up in Oxnard
Where I put up a balm I call Phlox Nard
Made of processed perennials
Sold to Millennials
Packed with a Jack-in-the-Box card.
There once was a fella from Oxnard
Who had a huge [fill in a "cock" word]
But no one up-wised
'Cuz he kept it disguised
Beneath kilting, and thoroughly boxered.
A cowboy once rode into Oxnard
And got him a job in a stock yard
His job it was renderin'
With queries engendrin'
"Is what you got in that box lard?"
The Longshoremen’s Union of Oxnard
Had by picket-lines rendered the docks barred,
So to make their strike fail
Goods were brought in by rail:
Either hopperred or tankerred or boxcarred.
Near LA in a city, Oxnard,
Lives a guy who is working so hard
At writing a verse,
But it couldn't be worse -
Let's just say that he's hardly a bard!
I like the rhymes in 7
"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
My current blog.
Photographs to accompany Anyone Can DO It available from www.lulu.com
My photoblog The World Through A lens
I agree with Bob.
#1 L2 doesn't rhyme with L1/5.
Yes, #7 is THE ONE! That's three votes, which probably means the author can take a bow. Wow!
Sheesh I almost voted for #1 until that rhyme issue was pointed out - I'll also go for #7.
...and I like the clever- and outside-the-boxness of 5, even more than the ditto-ditto of 7.
Is it too late to vote? I like #7, if not.
It’s never too late to vote. Anyone else want to venture an opinion? So far we have Number Seven five times and Number Five once.
IS this the first time one limerick has gotten ALL the votes?
…only five out of six. But who’s counting?!
Well done, Shu. You’re It!
Loose Ends Department:
P.S. The divers authors were (barring careless error on my part)
1 - Geoff
2 - beethree5
3 - beethree5
4 - haberdasher
5 - beethree5
6 - Geoff
7 - shufitz
8 - kalleh
Congrats to all for your efforts - this one was a toughie!
I'll let him know. I did like it!