I think that's about all we're going to collect from KENT, so here they are:

A.
I once saw the Dutchess of Kent
Imbibing champagne in a tent
She did cry a great sob
Said “The duke is a slob
And what's more, his old willie is bent!”

B.
I once knew a bach’lor from Kent
Whose dick oh so sadly was bent
He hadn’t a lady
Until he met Sadie
Whose cooch crooked where his member went

C.
There was a young lady of Kent
Whose clothes were seductively rent
When folks asked her how come
She'd reply "For a sum
I will show you your money's well spent"

D.
"Repent, all ye sinners, repent!"
Cried the preacher, one Sunday in Kent
But he mumbled his vocals
So none of the locals
Had the faintest idea what he meant.

E.
Said an innocent laddie from Kent,
"Why's my semen so white when I've spent,
But my urine so yellow?"
"Of course, my dear fellow,
To show if you've come or you went!"

F.
I just met a fellow from Kent
Who lives in a shabbby old tent
I inquired as to why
And he sighed, and said “I
Can no longer afford to pay rent!"

G.
I know a curmudgeon from Kent
Who was, in years past, a nice gent
Until he was taken
For all of his bacon
By Hilda, ex-wife from hell sent.

H.
You'll find a fish market in Kent
Which has an agreeable scent
Between rows of fish
You may sniff as you wish
They've planted prodigously mint

I.
A parfumier working in Kent
In a lab that, alas, had no vent
Had so little success
That he dropped dead from stress
In an ironic twist - "Heaven Scent".
____________________________

Four submitters, nine entries. Enjoy!

(PS. Tell me if I left anything/anyone out.)

(PPS. "Kennt" is German for "he knows".)

E

Peyronie's prevails at the start
But then comes a shrew and a tart
And there's fish and perfume
But no Pope, Locke, or Hume,
But penises three played a part

Lots of good stuff here! I'm torn between agreeing with Bob and picking E or choosing B. I'll go with B in support of penile perfidy.

Now that's a learnèd meta-limerick if ever I saw one !

I can't say anything; I'm only a tie-breaker...

Funny what pops into my battered old noggin at times!
PS: E doesn't take into account retrograde ejaculation, wherein one can come and go simultaneously.

Sorry I have been absent from these - and I love the limerick game. Nicely done - clearly many by men. I vote for A.

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
Sorry I have been absent from these - and I love the limerick game. Nicely done - clearly many by men. I vote for A.

Not sure A isn't libellous.

quote:

Originally posted by BobHale:

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:
Sorry I have been absent from these - and I love the limerick game. Nicely done - clearly many by men. I vote for A.

Not sure A isn't libellous.

If they sue the writer can ask them to show proof.

We've had a week to review them anonymously, so here they are with their perpetrators writers -


A.
I once saw the Duchess of Kent
Imbibing champagne in a tent
She did cry a great sob
Said “The duke is a slob
What's more, his old willie is bent!”
-Geoff

B.
I once knew a bach’lor from Kent
Whose dick oh so sadly was bent
He hadn’t a lady
Until he met Sadie
Whose cooch crooked where his member went
-bethree5

C.
There was a young lady of Kent
Whose clothes were seductively rent
When folks asked her how come
She'd reply "For a sum
I will show you your money's well spent"
-Geoff

D.
"Repent, all ye sinners, repent!"
Cried the preacher, one Sunday in Kent
But he mumbled his vocals
So none of the locals
Had the faintest idea what he meant.
-BobHale

E.
Said an innocent laddie from Kent,
"Why's my semen so white when I've spent,
But my urine so yellow?"
"Of course, my dear fellow,
To show if you've come or you went."
-hab

F.
I just met a fellow from Kent
Who lives in a shabbby old tent
I inquired as to why
And he sighed, and said “I
Can no longer afford to pay rent!"
-Geoff

G.
I know a curmudgeon from Kent
Who was, in years past, a nice gent
Until he was taken
For all of his bacon
By Hilda, ex-wife from hell sent.
-bethree5

H.
You'll find a fish market in Kent
Which has an agreeable scent
Between rows of fish
You may sniff as you wish
They've planted prodigiously mint
-Geoff

I.
A parfumier working in Kent
In a lab that, alas, had no vent
Had so little success
That he dropped dead from stress
In an ironic twist - "Heaven Scent".
-BobHale

Who'd'a thunk it!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

I thunk that E was either yours or B35's. I thunk right.

I see one kudo for A, and one B, and one for E, and a couple of did-not-voters. Can we improve on that? So many noshows bodes poorly for November, y'know...

quote:

So many noshows bodes poorly for November, y'know...

You tryin' to scare me to death?