Twelve limericks from six writers this week, in a completely independently randomized order. Choose your favourite!


1. I'm invited to dinner at Reading.
It's a visit I find myself dreading.
Seems each time I go
The Earl puts on a show
That will end with a random beheading.

2. Said a nervous young bridegroom from Reading
"I'm not scared at all of the wedding
It's what happens next
That has me so vexed
I need to know more about bedding!"

3. Shopping for bedding in Reading
In winter is something I'm dreading.
I'll take my toboggan,
And crash on my noggin!
No sledding with bedding in Reading!

4. I once loved a girl raised in Reading,
Where we planned a wonderful wedding,
Which I called off because
I found out she was
The same girl my best man was bedding.

5. Whenever I think about Reading,
Monopoly's where I am heading.
But this one's a borough
That makes my brow furrow
From all of the history I'm treading.

6. A nightmare-wracked sleeper in Reading
Was alll tangled up in the bedding
Having dreamed of a scene
With a tall guillotine
He woke up still dreading beheading.

7. A mafia Don moved to Reading
To escape from the fate he was dreading
But still woke up one day
With a sense of dismay
In bed with an equine beheading.

8. When Oscar Wilde was in Reading
He didn't complain of the bedding.
Cooling his heels in the Gaol,
Took paper and pen - made'em wail.
The gaoler on Oscar's not treading

9. I got in my car and was heading
To visit a fellow in Reading,
but once I arrived
It felt quite contrived:
With candles, perfume and silk bedding.

10. A newly-wed couple from Reading
Went shopping to buy some new bedding.
As she fondled a sheet,
He mentioned the heat;
I think we know where this is heading.

11. With my dog team, I'm mushing to Reading
To meet with the woman I'm bedding.
But there's been a delay
So I can't leave till May,
Which makes for a mass of tough sledding.

12. A father who hailed from Reading
Discovered what he was most dreading,
But fearing it more
Was his daughter for sure -
A snap of the sweet sixteen spreading.

Question:
Which is your favourite limerick?

(This week in Roman numerals to add flavour)

Choices:
I
II
III
IV
V
VI
VII
VIII
IX
X
XI
XII

 

Interesting... 5 votes so far spread between two limericks with EXACTLY the same A-rhymes.

Yeah, there were definitely a few recurring themes this week, particularly fear, execution and linen.

Well, I imagine that's all that's coming in in terms of votes, and it looks pretty clear.

Proof's first stab started us off on the theme of execution and took a whopping 33% of the vote - plenty to get you into government, but unfortunately not enough for the Limerick Game this time.

Bob's Godfather-themed masterpiece did the trick though and, as he pointed out, using exactly the same A-rhymes, so it just goes to show you that those other words in between are worth something!

Soooo, although it would be on Bob to choose the next place, I understand he's moving to a new city today and will be without Internet for a while. In that case, we default to the runner-up. Take it away, Proof!

Hi Stanley,

It would be nice to know who's responsible for the others. For the record I was responsible for 4 and 12.

I am quite surprised that I got no votes, given that I met nearly all the criteria for winning this contest. Perfect unambiguous rhymes, and specially for Kalleh's benefit what I thought was spot-on meter, and both my limericks were a little bit blue with reasonable punch lines, and in one case with "raised in Reading - wonderful wedding - best man was bedding" a bit of alliteration in each of the A-Rhyme lines. The perfect formula for success and yet I didn't pull a single vote.

It's like when you back a horse that has won its last 4 in Group races, is a track specialist and has weather conditions to suit and the best jockey on board and it doesn't run a drum.

But no matter how many of the winning criteria you meet, anyone can be beaten by a better horse/limerick on the day.

Down the aisle the young bride haled from Reading
Twas a grin big as sin she was shreading
For it seems that she knew
Her last blowjob she blew
Was the one she gave right before wedding

Oh yeah, thanks Greg, I forgot to say who did which ones!

Not with the detail made famous by bethree5, but...

Proof - 1 and 11
Bob - 2, 6 and 7
Geoff - 3 and 8
Greg - 4 and 12
Kalleh - 5 and 9
Stanley - 10

I had a last-minute maybe-I-ought-to-have-a-go-since-I-chose-the-damn-place

Greg, I'll have you know that perfect meter and impeccable rhyme are unnecessary incumbrances in our games.

I hereby open a new, enriched limerick game and hope you will all join in to celebrate a fine Rhode Island village known for its air of relentless disappointment: The village of

HOPE

Well, wasn't that a coincidence. Send me your efforts, good or bad. Any lurkers on the site who watch anonymously are invited to join in by sending in a PM to me.

I'll put up a thread for the new game tomorrow so everyone can enjoy this one.

I voted for Bob's, so I'll send mine to him.

Shoot - I didn't vote. I'll get mine to you in the next day or two, Proof. I don't feel too "poetic" right now.