BREAKFAST - quite fragile; ask any 3-year-old

INTERDIGITATE - bury a middle finger (which one depends on from which end you start counting)

HERETOFORE - why I came to the golf course

HEREBY - the cry of the fleamarket vendor

GODFREY - the sermon was so long they didn't have time to pass the collection plate

ADDRESSED - how a body tends to remain unless acted upon by an outside force

INGEST - Don't take me seriously, I was only making a joke. (Or seven...)

kingdom: head masochist
boredom: Saudi oil field
Mohawk: One of the three Indian Stooges
Curly fries: Stooge's favorite snack
frigate: I don't care
punchline: Jim Jones end game
july: No, I'm being truthful
moor: not less
pavement: the worst lifesaver flavor

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:
kingdom: head masochist
boredom: Saudi oil field

...Not sure I understand these two. I can offer
KINGDOM - what you did to a checker when it got to the eighth rank
BOREDOM - Yoga ennui

but I know these are not what you had in mind. Would you parse them for me?

king dom (as in dominant)in a master/salve relationship.
boredom -- drilling for oil area
Were they really that obscure?

KING DOM - didn't think of the "dominate" connection. Wouldn't that be the Marquis de Sade, rather than Masoch?

BORE DOMe - yes, though no inherent connection to the Middle East

quote:

INTERDIGITATE - bury a middle finger

Is this a common practice in proctology?

...more like in Road Rage, I should think

Oh... So is the time between one regent's visit to a proctologist and the next regent's visit the Interrectum?

quote:

quote:
Originally posted by Proofreader:
kingdom: head masochist
boredom: Saudi oil field


...Not sure I understand these two.

So are you telling me, haberdahser, that you "got" all the others, ever posted? Perhaps there are too many local inferences, that don't register with this Antipodean, but I would say there is at least one out of every 4 or 5 posted that I don't "get" - at all.

quote:

there is at least one out of every 4 or 5 posted that I don't "get" - at all.

Should there be enough interest, I am prepared to arrange a podcast on the intricacies of American humor.

A podcast? Is that when you take a pea and fling it? Or is it the dramatis personae in a movie about whales?

quote:

So are you telling me, haberdasher, that you "got" all the others, ever posted? Perhaps there are too many local inferences, that don't register with this Antipodean, but I would say there is at least one out of every 4 or 5 posted that I don't "get" - at all.

Most of them, yes. I understand what's being invoked, or what the reference is. Some I disagree with; some I consider are weak or far-fetched, and maybe not particlarly amusing; some are more clever, and some are absolutely sparkling. A few leave me in the dark, and if I can't figure them out I ask.

It calls for flexibility of mind, a.k.a what shrinks call "looseness of association." (Which they generally don't mean as a compliment.) And it's the lifeblood of any accomplished or aspiring punster, because recognition of that possible alternative meaning is the genesis of coming up with new ones...

FWIW, Greg, some blow right past me as well. Alas, I am often too confused to ask for clarification.

Haberdasher, can't you be brought up on charges in your state for using "genius" and "punster" in the same sentence?

quote:

It calls for flexibility of mind, a.k.a what shrinks call "looseness of association."

Given my ability to solve most Cryptic Crossword puzzles I attempt, often discovering in the process an answer which is a word I have never heard of, I would have thought I had that quality in spades but clearly not in abundance (something to do with Miley Cyrus according to you haberdasher and that one I do "get" - she's "coming" here to do a few of those in concert soon)

Anyway here's a few simple ones on a new theme I started sometime ago, which didn't garner much interest from others at the time, perhaps because they weren't "clever enough".

around - square
abound - freed
aground - airborne

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,

amend: rip
abed: ambulatory

ATTRIBUTE - damning with faint praise

ACCOLADE - no soft drinks here, bub

(P.S. that was "genesis" above, not "genius"...)

indiscreet: what goes on in Harry's Hourly Rentals, stays in Harry's Hourly Rentals

AWESOME - I'm by myself today

ABYSMAL - ran out of antacid (and I have no pep, too)

OBSCURE An old, superceded remedy.

ABROGATE - I know he's Irish but he doesn't have the slightest trace of an accent

ACCURATE - the church leader retired and no relpacement has been appointed

ACCURSED - wash your mouth out with soap !

ACCORD - it's not easy for everybody to pull together when there's no rope

DISCORD The Honda built by scabs while the regular workers were on strike.

record: put seeds back n an apple
rebut: ass transplant
recede: the drought killed the first batch
recipe: What do you have to do to fix "Mississ"

Darn, I could have sworn that Recipe was the Greek muse in charge of cooking.

abalones - fancy delis (sorry no baloney)

abdication - pet neutering

abridged - certain islands

abridged: lost some teeth
abide: fail to purchase
amend: rip
accrue: desert the ship

revolt: turn on the electricity
repulse: administer CPR
retreat: buy another round

remonstrate: have another period
redo: another bowel movement

perspiration: a happy cat's brilliant idea
pontificate: the Pope's diploma

REPUBLICAN - just opened his second barroom

REVERE - to fishtail

RECUR - sonofabitch!

REFUSE - weld again

REORGANIZE - kidney transplant

REALM - make another charitable donation

ALIMONY - no citric acid in this drink

variations on the theme:

AREA - without an extinct giant bird

DIARRHEA - without two extinct giant birds

...

ABROGATE to remove one's Scottich accent

ALLOCATE to get lost

...

ACCORD - what you plug the coffeepot in with

union is the act of eliminating anion

infantile: floor covering for a nursery
bratwurst: the nastiest kid
antebellum: who tied the clanger on the cat?
imposter the devil's favorite macaroni
amen: nympho's battle cry
hymen alternative cry

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,

DESTINE - to empty the beer mug

demobilize: get rid of the baby's playthings

DERRIERE - what happened to the Old Lady in Candide (or is that pushing it too far?*)


*["...I'm missing the half of my backside")

antidotes: what she does to her nieces and nephews.
gnus: hard to find in papers.
malpractice: teach shopping

disenchanted: kicked out the Hari Krhishnas.

oxymoron: dumb cow
avowal: a, e, i, o, and u

distemper: calm down
done: for most, finished; for Kalleh, get back to work.

EXPENSE - money I used to have

similarly

DISPENSE - a drain on the Privy purse

fez: past tense of "fuzz". Ex. "Your skin is fuzzy." "It's always been fez."

compound: a shelter for Red Army canines.
footstool: an impressive bowel movement.
cellophane: an obscene phone call.

If I had stool on my foot I would NOT be impressed.

DISCRETE Knocking an island.

LESBOS A Frenchman saying "cattle" in Latin.

RESTORES - take a break during Crew practice

REPARTEE - have another blast!

REDOLENT - abjure pleasure again (shoulda waited until next Spring for that)

REFEREE - the mink grew another pelt

REDUNDANT - sent another overdue-bill notice to my father's sister

DESTROY - "Ilium stinks!"

quote:

Originally posted by haberdasher:



"Ilium stinks!"

So what do you think of the ischium and the usually popular symphysis pubis?

...That would have to be DISPLEASURE of the hip, said with a Boston accent (so it sounds like "DYSPLASIA")

DESTINE - pour out the beer **

DEBRIS - to reattach the foreskin (see Michener's The Source)

DEPRAVE - Moby Dick is going crazy

**Oops! My bad. See August 13... :-(

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,

BRISTOL The mohel's fee

BRISKET His bag of tools

BRISFIT An exercise program that causes your prepuce to fall off. http://www.brisfit.com/