Thank you, thank you, thank you for the warm welcome you all! Good guess that Gin and I don't mix. Vodka on the other hand...

I have no limerick talent, otherwise I would have posted in limericky fashion.

SciFijunkie's pedia's Wiki.
She's encoded a word for a quickie.
And she's ordered a drink,
So some analysts think,
That's commonly called a Lime Ricky.

Thanks!

What's a Lime Ricky?

When you see a word or phrase that's underlined, Emily, the underlining usually indicates that that word or phrase is a "link" ...... so click on the link and see what happens. Try the following link ....... Lime Rickey....

Ahhhh...

Thanks and Aloha!

SciFiJunkie, please tell us, do--
What sort is pleasing to you?
Historical ghosts?
Petrie-dish hosts?
Old episodes of Dr Who?

Some like aliens sliming green goo,
Alchemical knights’ derring-do,
Humanoids randy—
Math-nerd brain candy--
Or do you like surreal kung fu?

I'll join Wordcrafters welcoming you,
SciFiJunkie...now chat with us too!
The chat is tomorrow
And we'd like to borrow
Your ear for an hour or two.

[One must say "hour" with 2 syllables. That's probably doable for Americans; not so much for the English.]

SciFiJunkie, join us tomorrow!

SciFiJunkie, it was a great chat. We missed you.

However, the Cubs postseason (being swept) wasn't so great!

Oh, why, Cubs, oh why did you fall?!
Can't you tell that wood bat from the ball?!
Or the stands from the base?!
You're such a disgrace.
I never will watch you at all.

It's been 99 years for Pete's sake.
How much more of this can we all take?!
You're jinxed, it's so clear,
And I'll never come near
Wrigley Field cuz you make my heart ache!

[I am sure I will be back next year...and the next year...and the next year...]

I just like this one so much I have to post it here too...

Marti's cocaine addiction undid her:
She's for sale to each night's highest bidder.
Where one line used to do,
She snorts ten to get through—
Lest you end up like her, reconsider.

Just say NO...

Excellent TrossL.

Thanks for posting that, TrossL. What a great ad that would make.

Thanks guys...

It's really sad how this thread has totally fallen off what it used to be. Nowadays, (is that one word?) if we write a lim we post it on oedilf. Is it okay to post in both places? It feels kind of like cheating somehow...

Oh, I don't think it's cheating at all. After all, OEDILF started here.

It's just that I haven't written that many limericks lately. I seem to have peaks and valleys with writing limericks, and I am in a huge valley now.

However, I'd love to read some limericks, and I surely don't care if they've been submitted to OEDILF or not.

Your visage? Astounding! And so
I must cover eyes or I'll go
As blind as a bat,
For your beauty's such that
Mortal men can not look on you—Oh!

Shoot!

I only looked up for a second,
Your aura, it called me, it beckoned!
Now I'm in a bind
'Cause I'm sure as hell blind—
This ending is not what I reckoned.

"Though I walk through the Limerickless valley
I have faith that my skill will soon rally,
And with good exercise
Before your startled eyes
I'll produce a good Limerick," quoth Kalleh.

Tonight is not really the time,
I can't find a word that will rhyme
With kerosene heater,
And then there's the meter!
My limericks all seem to be slime!

quote:

Originally posted by Kalleh:

Perhaps you’re working too hard,
Do not try to mimic the Bard,
In his wonderful timing,
To say nought of his rhyming
You will end, not in slime, but in lard.

Case in point, pearce, one must be on guard
Coining phrases crafty muses may not pard’.
When you limerickally putter
With the Bard and wartime butter
You are hoist, sir, by your own petard.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: bethree5,

My efforts have been rather torrid,
though recent attempts have been horrid,
To write on the colon
(Where feces go rollin');
Let's face it...the subject's not florid!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,

Kalleh--

Having picked myself up off the floor
Where I fell with a snort and a roar,
I have dried riant tears
And now am all ears.
You pen limericks on colons: wherefore?

There's a project that some would find queer.
It's a limerick dictionary, dear
That's right now reached C..O
Hence K. writing on co-
Lon, and you'll find it right here.

Though there is no chance that this limerick would survive the workshopping process over there. They'd insist that I can't start line five on a stressed syllable, that LON shouldn't be stressed anyway, that if you don't stress it then that gives an unacceptable three unstressed sylables in a row at the start and only two stresses in the line, thatb there's no definition, etc. etc. etc.


(And in case anyone from there is looking here, they'd be right on all counts. This doesn't cut it by the site standards.)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BobHale,

Yes, but maybe we are more in keeping with how limericks originally were written. For example, here is a limerick written by Edward Lear (1812-1888), himself.

There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
Whose ideas were excessively nautical
She climbed up a tree,
To examine the sea,
But declared she would never leave Portugal.

Personally, I thnink this is awful! Nautical doesn't rhyme Portugal and lines 1 & 5 end with the same word!

But this very limerick is what you get when you put into Google "how to write a limerick". OEDILF doesn't come up at all in the first 4 pages!

Without bothering to check, I believe Lear very often used a last line that was a very simple variation of the first. Example (from my head, not Lear's): "There once was a man from St. Ives" with "This obsessive old man from St. Ives.

By the way, I agree with you 115% about "Portugal".

quote:

Originally posted by shufitz:
Without bothering to check, I believe Lear very often used a last line that was a very simple variation of the first.

Almost exclusively. I believe there are couple of instances where he didn't but I wouldn't swear to it.

I am reminded of a fellow who once criticized Shakespeare for using so many well-worn phrases and outright clichés. Also, Chaucer was taken to task by later critics saying he often got his rhyme and meter wrong. (They didn't realize Middle English sounded different from Present-Day English. As for Edw. Lear, though he may not have created the Limerick, he is usually credited with popularizing the form. His limericks had four lines, the current lines 3 and 4 being combined into a single one, and the first and last lines were, as Bob has pointed out, only slightly different, but not always.

quote:

There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;
It is four times as big as the bush!"

(From his Book of Nonsense.) Lear was one of the more famous authors of nonsense, which included Lewis Carroll (UK) and Gelett Brugess (US). The latter of Purple Cow fame.

If you simply type in "!limericks" then the first entry is Wikipedia's (who have a link to OEDILF). I was smugly satisfied to read this entry:

In John Newbery's 1774 children's book, A Little Pretty Pocket-Book, the following poem in limerick form first appears. It remains well-known today.

Hickory Dickory Dock
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The mouse ran down
Hickory Dickory Dock

I received a great deal of flack on this site from those who suggested that it was a nursery rhyme (which it is) and not a limerick (which Wikipedia and I, at least) believe it is.

Hickory dickery dock
TWO mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one .....



... and the other ran down
uninjured.

The physician had a habit of stopping in every afternoon at the local bar (Richard's Bar) for an almond daiquiri.

The bartender / owner of the place panicked one day on realizing he had run out of almonds

so he substituted a hickory nut .

"Is this an almond daiquiri, Dick?"

"No, it's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."

Then there's the rabbit who lives mainly on updoc.

I know, you're going to ask me, "What's updoc?"

Don't you mean updock?

quote:

Originally posted by jerry thomas:
Hickory dickery dock
TWO mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one .....
... and the other ran down
uninjured.

Hilarious. I'm going to steal this.

No need to steal it, Sean. Let me present it to you as a Gift ... no strings attached.

Let's also consider what happens when the clock runs down ....

Cowhearted's not generous, Raven!
It's cowardly, gutless and craven,
Lily-livered and yellow;
Not some bighearted fellow—
Bob won't like those flyers you're wavin'.

Rave made flyers for Big Bob's campaign.
Thank the Lord, her mistakes are quite plain.
'Stead of stressing his kindness,
She's shown off her blindness
For meanings of words once again.

Michaela, whose surname was Hunt,
Used language exceedingly blunt,
Expressing dislike
For the nickname of 'Mike':
She refused to be labeled 'Mike Hunt'.

Hey...we got this thread going again. Finally! I must thank TrossL for that. Let's keep the discussion and the limericks coming...

Yes, Bethree, on OEDILF we are trying to write limericks on all of the words, all of the time (since language is always changing). Not only that, but it's on all definitions of words (how many definitions of "set" are there?); further, there are phrases and people's names and movies and whatever. Quite the project. Here is my final colon limerick, though it hasn't been approved yet and stands to be further criticized, though the poor baby has already been through the mill!

The organ where feces go rollin'
(Or sometimes they slowly go strollin')
Absorbs and reclaims,
And it carries the names
Of the greater intestine or colon.
(I did add an author's note to explain the "absorbs and reclaims" part.)

Shu, I love yours!

quote:

Don't you mean updock?

An equestrian lady just started
A graveyard for horses departed.
She loved horses so well,
She liked even their smell-
Which is why she was known as "hoof-hearted".

Shu... that's too funny.

And speaking of Shu, or to Shu, as the case may be, and is,

Shu had a great idea to write a limerick with the play on the words "nautical but nice-icle". Here is my own humble, off the cuff attempt.

A girl I know once sucked an icicle;
And she did it while riding a bicycle.
It was ice from the sea.
(How I wished she'd sucked me)
Though she's nautical she's far too nice-icle.

Helen Hunt found a glove in the church
And she'll never leave you in a lurch
If you lost such a garment
Rest assured there's no harm meant.
Just go to Helen Hunt for your search.

This Kalleh's been posting forever,
Though no one would call her posts clever!
Her posts are 12,000;
Let's toast with some hausen,
Champagne and some Fuller's...Bud? Never!

Hey, I just reached 12,000 posts!

[P.S. OEDILF workshoppers, I'd love an RFA on my "colon" limerick, if you so inclined.]

Okay...here is a challenge. I am going to be writing a chapter on collaboration in healthcare. I'd like to start it with a limerick, though of course I can't guarantee that my editors will keep it. Still, they probably will.

I've tried to write one, and I will keep trying. But all of you are so talented. How about helping? Just promise you won't be hurt if I don't select yours, okay?

So get started already!

Controversies are often polemic;
They spread like a great epidemic.
Providing the wealth
To finance Public Health
Is pragmatic -- not academic.

* * ** *** ***** ******** ***** *** ** * *

Collaborators working together
Might be called birds of a feather
Healthcare providers
Sympathetic insiders
Smell the breathtaking perfume of heather.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jerry thomas,

I submitted this over there yesterday, but I doubt it will make it to home base as it tapers off there in line 5. So, I'll post it here!

I did not want to drive all that far
And the cover's so high at that bar;
What they charge, though, we pay
If we want to get lai—
I mean, if we want to be able to get inside and meet a nice girl...

Hey, you changed your beautiful face!

Oh, I think it is funny. There are plenty of odd ones like that. I'll go over and RFA it, though I'll probably get severely criticized for it!

How do you like my face now???

My latest... I think I'm up to over 20 tents...

Corporal punishment: good for what ails ya.
(Well, that's what dad says as he flails ya.)
Constipation? A cold?—
This cure never gets old,
So be thankful next time someone nails ya.

What? You've never heard of someone getting the snot or the shit beat out of them?

I'll look at your new tents. I like the rhymes in that one. I suppose you don't deep six a limerick simply because the message isn't "nice." I do realize that's how many parents still think. 'Tis a pity. No wonder we have so much violence in our society.

Funny though it is, this won't get past OEDILF workshopping since self-rhymes are verboten. There are plnty of rhymes for "ya", of course.

quote:

Originally posted by Richard English:
Funny though it is, this won't get past OEDILF workshopping since self-rhymes are verboten. There are plnty of rhymes for "ya", of course.

It would because even over there they know that rhymes start at the last stressed syllable so that ails, flails and nails are different.

Ah yes. I confess I didn't even look at the stresses!

quote:

Originally posted by TrossL:
Thanks guys...

Dear TrossL:

One phrase I can’t stand is “you guys”,
In fact it’s a term I despise.
For a guy is a male
And you females should quail
At such terrible words of disguise