Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
Cork Login/Join
 
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted
1.
There once was a lady from Cork
Who favored a daily nude walk
This brief constitution
Was judged prostitution
Cuz male bidders followed en bloc.

2.
There once was an old man from Cork
A glutton, yet thin as a stork
He gorged scoops and scoops
But just his fave soups
And sadly used only a fork

3.
There once was a fellow from Cork,
Who really was kind of a dork.
But we got into bed
With legs all a-spread
And now we're awaiting the stork.

4.
A flower girl living in Cork
Let out a cacophonous squawk
When she came home one day
But her man had run away
With a social-climbing heiress from New York!

5.
There was a young laddie from Cork
Who ate his green peas with a fork
And the girls mostly said
“Don’t know what’s in his head!”
So of course they all called him a dork.

6.
Lord Randall, now living in Cork.
Built a catapult brimming with torque
‘Cause he thinks that much mass'l
Protect his new castle
Designed by that Howard O'Roark.

7.
There was a young lady from Cork
Who had so enchanting a walk
That whenever she went out
The vibes that she sent out
Made all the men stop, turn, and gawk

8.
A woebegone woman of Cork
Once married a surly old dork
When she got a black eye
A knife fixed him for aye
Cut'is pork hammer off at the fork

9.
There once was a codger of Cork
Who eschewed chewing food from a fork
With a knife and a spoon
Did this crazy old loon
Let his gob gobble porridge and pork

Answers as comments please (can't be bothered to set up the poll)


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9421 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
And here is the awful pun one I promised... not part of the game

Said a fellow I once met in Cork
“I have a peculiar walk,
With one foot on the ground
I just spin round and round”
So he told me, but he was all torque.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9421 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Two and nine follow a similar path, which I thought interesting.

I assume #6 alludes to Ayn Rand's novel, "The Fountainhead." If so, well done! Based on that assumption I'll go with it, followed by #2, with honorable mention to #3.
 
Posts: 6168 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Yes. So do 3, 5, and 8. And 1 and 7, for that matter.

#7 would roll off the tongue better if the last line read “...Had all the men turning to gawk.”

And yes, Bob, the pun is indeed atrocious. But far be it from me to twist your words.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,
 
Posts: 6267 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
This is a tough one.

I think I‘ll go with #9.
 
Posts: 6267 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by haberdasher:

And yes, Bob, the pun is indeed atrocious. But far be it from me to twist your words.


Red Face <blushes modestly> One tries. One tries.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9421 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
I'll choose #6. The English/east coast pronunciations don't roll off my tongue well enough.
 
Posts: 24735 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Yes, but just imagine the sound of Rex Harrison as Henry Higgins. I listened to the record of My Fair Lady enough to engrave it indelibly in my ear...
 
Posts: 6267 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh:
I'll choose #6. The English/east coast pronunciations don't roll off my tongue well enough.

It's interesting isn't it. Without hearing you I can't imagine any way those words don't rhyme.


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9421 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
We have two votes for 6 and one for 9. Anyone else?


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9421 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bethree5
posted Hide Post
Yes, I love #3!!
The Fountainhead character was Howard Roark not O'Roark (at least as far as wiki knows-- proud to say I never read that piece of trash!)
 
Posts: 2605 | Location: As they say at 101.5FM: Not New York... Not Philadelphia... PROUD TO BE NEW JERSEY!Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
This is true, but it wouldn’t fit Limerick-rhythm any more than the book was written by Lord Randall. In spite of which several of us seem to have identified it as an allusion.
 
Posts: 6267 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
I assumed poetic license with "O'Roark."

I guess that it's yours, Hab. Am I right?
 
Posts: 6168 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Guilty as charged, m’lord.

I’m surprised no one has yet protested the appropriation of the My Fair Lady rhythm (and lyrics) in #4.
 
Posts: 6267 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
OYG, you're right! (OYG because I don't have one, so I'll have to invoke yours)

I thought it sounded rather musical. Another of yours, I assume?

It's hard to keep up with you polymaths! I can't even keep up with those snotty Armenian-American sisters, much less you
 
Posts: 6168 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
I always seem to pick Hab's. I loved mass'l and castle.

So, Robert. Who's up next?
 
Posts: 24735 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Hab's clearly won, but who wrote what else?
Hab picked my #9, and I also wrote the atrocious #8.
 
Posts: 6168 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of BobHale
posted Hide Post
bethree5
There once was a lady from Cork
Who favored a daily nude walk
This brief constitution
Was judged prostitution
Cuz male bidders followed en bloc.

There once was an old man from Cork
A glutton, yet thin as a stork
He gorged scoops and scoops
But just his fave soups
And sadly used only a fork

Kalleh
There once was a fellow from Cork,
Who really was kind of a dork.
But we got into bed
With legs all a-spread
And now we're awaiting the stork.

haberdasher
A flower girl living in Cork
Let out a cacophonous squawk
When she came home one day
But her man had run away
With a social-climbing heiress from New York!

There was a young laddie from Cork
Who ate his green peas with a fork
And the girls mostly said
“Don’t know what’s in his head!”
So of course they all called him a dork.

Lord Randall, now living in Cork.
Built a catapult brimming with torque
‘Cause he thinks that much mass'l
Protect his new castle
Designed by that Howard O'Roark.

There was a young lady from Cork
Who had so enchanting a walk
That whenever she went out
The vibes that she sent out
Made all the men stop, turn, and gawk

Geoff
A woebegone woman of Cork
Once married a surly old dork
When she got a black eye
A knife fixed him for aye
Cut'is pork hammer off at the fork

There once was a codger of Cork
Who eschewed chewing food from a fork
With a knife and a spoon
Did this crazy old loon
Let his gob gobble porridge and pork


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
Posts: 9421 | Location: EnglandReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Kalleh
posted Hide Post
Thank you, Bethree! I finally got a vote. Wink
 
Posts: 24735 | Location: Chicago, USAReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Good for you, Kalleh! Hab and I traded votes. He picked my alliterative last one.

Where shall we go now, Hab?
 
Posts: 6168 | Location: Muncie, IndianaReply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Let’s try ERIE. City, lake, whichever you like. Not Eerie, not aerie, not airy, just Erie.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,
 
Posts: 6267 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata  
 


Copyright © 2002-12