On the breast of a lady named Gail
Was tatooed the price of her tail,
And on her behind
(For the sake of the blind)
Was the same information -- in Braille!
Sorry, CJ. You're probably right. I did learn something from your reply, though. I have only used "perverse" to mean "perverted", and I didn't get your response at all. However, I find that it fits perfectly, meaning "marked by a disposition to oppose and contradict", or "Obstinately persisting in an error or fault; wrongly self-willed or stubborn." I guess I have been a bit perverse.
...with regard to
"the same information -- in _Braille!_"
"I thought I was the only one who knew about JoelMartin.com"
I submit that this particular limerick (at least) has probably been around since long before Joel Martin :-)
Memo to haberdasher and TrossL and to Whomever Else It May Concern:
Actually, the "Gail tail Braille" Limerick was found inscribed on the wall of a cave in southwestern Afghanistan --- in Cuniform.
I posted it because it gave me a grin and I thought it might do the same for you.
I readily confess that I should have added a disclaimer ...... like .... THIS IS NOT ORIGINAL.
Umm. I suspect young Joel Martin didn't intend for his postings to be taken as original work either. And they do elicit smiles, too :-)
I just knew that CJ would get it.
Is, in the videoes,
Mandates that those who are
Over-endowed, will be
(Note that I blushingly employ the word who, not which.)
Not bad, Shufitz, for an amateur.
CJ the Wordcrafter
Kalleh, the nurse.
Kalleh obsesses with
Meter and stress. She is
Salivate madly at
Roe versus Wade may be
Questioned because of it.
That is just base.
Dr. D. Livingstone,
Missing in Zanzibar,
Three years of doom.
Stanley, his colleague, searched
Finding him, querying,
"Doc, I presume?"
Your creation ranks HIGHEST in all the DDs we've seen.
The answer is "Dr. Livingston I Presume"
...and the question is?
(see Answer Thread in _Q&A_ if you want)
Jerry, thanks so much! That means a lot coming from you.
William Claude Dukenfield
Known to his fan club as
Dubya C. Fields
Built a career being
Click on THIS LINK now and
See what it yields.
Crafting a double D
Molding a name
Oh Jerry I love your link!
With Mother's Day coming tomorrow, I found this quote funny:
"What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe."
Got a bequest from the
One-hundred million is
Poets are questioning,
What is its fate?
For those of you here who don't live in the U.S., recently Ruth Lilly, in her 80s, died, bequeathing over $100,000,000 to the Modern Poetry Association, whose most prominent face is "Poetry Magazine". It seems that Ms. Lilly had submitted her poetry to the magazine for years, continually being rejected, though gently. That gentleness obviously paid off in the end! This bequest should elevate poetry to another level, nationally and hopefully internationally. I thought this might interest many of you talented poets on this site.
[This message was edited by Kalleh on Sun May 11th, 2003 at 9:40.]
Imagine what she might have left had they actually published any of her writing.
And, more importantly, why was this Ruth Lilly never invited to this board??!!
of the midwest
driving in circles, out-
doing their best
Thomas Q. Jefferson
Land in the dark.
Corps of Discovery's
Capable leaders were
Lewis & Clark
has lately become my
getting acquainted with
C J -and-shufitz-and
morgan and kalleh, bear,
Richard and arnie and
tinman, Ros, hic
et ubique, BobHale
chielamangus [sic] &
pauld, revenant, muse-
amuse, tadpole, et al-
(and all o' ya) as
Minnie Pearl used to say,
"I'm just proud to be here."
contagious spreading of
is completely nuts, no?
Jerry, you have definitely outdone yourself in these latest double dactyls.
Here's another (needs polish, no?) ==>
Searching on Pompei's walls
here's what was found:
"vine, vide, velcro"
"I came I saw
I stuck around."
Novobatsky & Shea
Claim that the word's
Been around for a while
People when practicing
Laugh at the others who
Miss fortune's smile
Wow, Jerry, that didn't take long for you to write! I just posted the word!
Andrew E. Firestone
Star of "The Bachelor" pro-
Posed to Ms. Schefft.
Hearing the question, she
Answered him: "Thank you dear!"
Not very deft!
[This message was edited by Kalleh on Wed May 21st, 2003 at 16:20.]
Golfed against men, but her
Play came up short.
Athletes are masculine.
This begs the question, though:
"Is golf a sport?
Associated Press, Oct. 22, 2001:
Tennis stars wed in private ceremony
LAS VEGAS -- Tennis stars Andre Agassi and Stefanie Graf were married Monday in Las Vegas.
(formerly known as
Ruled in her tennis with
Andre, it's clear that she's
Your better half.
Hic, Hic, Hic, those, my dear, are wonderful!
Coach of the Rockets was
Forced to resign.
Basketball talent in-
Sures his successor will
Surely do fine!
As noted elsewhere on more than one occasion, I tend to be a "harder marker" than some other posters on this board who shall remain nameless (but whose name begins with "K"). I would have said "Hic, Hic, Hic, my dear, those are almost wonderful."
Well done on the first double dactyl and extra points for topicality. I might have reversed the 5th and 6th lines since the one-word six-syllable line seems to fit most comfortably in line 6 but that's just me. A first-rate work!
The second one, though... Hmmmm... I am willing to bet that this one evolved over some time (though, acknowledging your literary genius at these things, not much time) and that a better version exists on a bit of scrap paper somewhere.
The format, as I'm sure you know, is 6 syllables, 6 syllables, 6 syllables, 4 syllables and then repeat, not unlike the instructions on bottles of shampoo. (The "repeat" part, I mean, not the "6 syllables, etc.") Your second piece seems to be missing a syllable in line 3 unless you (shudder!) are stretching "known" out to two syllables and in "KNO-wen." That would rank right down there with "FILL-um" for "film" which is not your style.
And the 5th line reads "Ruled in her tennis with." Ruled in her tennis?? May I attempt to read your mind and suggest that "tennis" was, somewhere along the line, "teens" and that its inclusion here was in error? Yet with "teens," that line also falls one short in the syllable department.
With a minor bit of fine tuning, permit me to suggest:
(formerly known as Miss
Ruled in her teens with an
Andre, it's clear that she's
Your better half.
Again, first-rate and topical and admirable and why aren't you posting as regularly as you have in the past?!
(And no comments or misinterpretations, please, on the "my dear" comment above. I was merely mimicking Kalleh.)
I can't believe I missed the 3rd line! I am definitely losing my touch with these. I may be "dactyled" out.
goes well with poi
Fish with twelve syllables
Clearly not koi
<smiles gently at CJ>
Those who can do, and I do what I can.
<bows obsequiously at Hic et ubique>
CJ the Dactylist
Freely admits I'm not
King of this form.
Wish I could write these more
His are all hot whereas
Mine are lukewarm.
Having said that, however, admit it! Wasn't the revision I provided exactly what you meant to say??
Ran for Vice President
With Mr. Gore.
Vying to be the first
Jew as a running mate,
Bush won the war!
Barry M. Goldwater
Ran for the White House back
Faced the same outcome as,
Later, Al Gore.
While the term "running mate" seems to have evolved to refer to just the second person on the ticket, both individuals are labled "running mates" when they campaign. By this definition, Barry M. Goldwater (and, yes, that is his middle initial; I looked it up) would have been the first Jewish running mate to seek high employment in Washington DC. (The first one I know of, anyway.)
Barry Goldwater was not Jewish., though his father was.
Son Barry was raised as an Episcopalian, his mother's religion, and never identified or practiced as a Jew.
Yes, I knew that BUT...
I have had more than one "discussion" (AKA "heated argument") with Jewish co-workers who claim that all offspring of Jews are, by definition, Jewish themselves regardless of whether or not both parents were Jewish or in what faith the son or daughter was raised. This strikes me a patently absurd but, considering the fact that each person is entitled to his or her own religious beliefs, rarely have I used that term in said "discussions."
My argument: "If a Japanese man has children with a Japanese women, they will be Japanese as a matter of genetics. If two people born and raised in London have children, they will be British as a matter of geography though circumstances may alter that status later on. BUT! (And here's where I start shaking my finger for emphasis, a bad habit, yes, I know) BUT! If two Jews have children who end up NOT embracing that faith themselves, it's illogical to claim that they're still Jewish."
Their argument: "No, no, no, you're wrong!"
So, whaddaya gonna do? I've heard more than one person, Jewish and otherwise, identify Barry Goldwater as a MOT ("Member of the Tribe," humorous term used by Sammy Davis Jr. era Jews to describe themselves, though the acronym finder didn't list it), hence my DD.
One last interesting note: In googling Goldwater, I uncovered the fact that he was born in Arizona in 1909, three years before it became a state! That would make him the last major presidential candidate (in 1964 who, by the way, carried six states) to technically not have been born in the U.S.A. Isn't that a wild little factoid?!
One last note: I just googled "googling Goldwater" and came up with 25 hits. Sheesh!
William O'Reilly, a
Ranter at Fox,
Worries that Hip Hop's ne-
Farious image will
Give women knocks!
Inspired by one of my favorite logophiles, Salim Muwakkil, in one of his newspaper columns about "hip hop."
CJ, I fully agree with your view that the people you describe have a misguided view.
Under jewish (biblical) law, a child is considered jewish if, but only if, the mother is jewish. The father's position is irrelevant -- perhaps because fathership is known only by "taking her word for it", not by observed certainty.
This is important because under Israeli (civil) law, a jewish person has a "right of return," a right to settle in Isreal. So the question of whether a particular person is a "jew" can be relevant to that legal right.
Tangling it further: if a person (or his or her mother) became jewish by conversion, then whether the person is a "jew" can depend on whether the conversion was proper -- and the civil law refers that question to the religious authorities. I understand that orthodox rabbis will not recognize a conversion performed by a conservative or reform rabbi.
Sir Edmund Hillary,
Joined the elite
Who, like the mount itself,
Honor his feat!
As an agnostic, a "lapsed Christian," a "born-again heathen," or a "It's-none-of-your-business,-keep-your-damn-religious-literature!" (depending on how I happen to be feeling at the moment) even I am well aware that the rules and guidelines that even semi-observant Jews live by can be incredibly complex.
The above discussion brings to mind the Monty Python routine about the lifeboat of starving sailors facing the grim prospect of cannibalism:
1st: But I don't want to eat (name of other sailor).
2nd: Why not?
1st: He's not kosher!
3rd: Well, that would depend on how we kill him!
As a MPFC sidenote, that whole episode was considered so shocking that they were permitted to air it only by agreeing to include a scene were the studio audience rises up in outrage and storms the set. This was the show that also included John Cleese bringing his deceased mother in a sack to a disreputable mortuary. After being given the options of "Burn 'er, bury 'er, or dump 'er in the Thames," the mortician (Michael Palin) looks into the sack, sees that Mrs Cleese was quite young at her death and then calls back to an assistant:
Palin: Harry! I think we got an eatter!
Cleese: You're not suggesting that we eat my mother!?
Palin: Not raw! Not raw!!
(All in all, it's amazing how great a percentage of my understanding of British culture comes from Monty Python routines.)
And now (something completely different) to tie this all back to the original thread topic:
Give me my view of how
They all are lumberjacks
That's a dead parrot, now.
Nudge, nudge! Wink! Wink!
(This one took a total of about two minutes, it's somewhat flawed and very silly, and I could hardly be more proud of it!)
I like it, CJ! I am changing my view of double dactyls. Some of my favorites don't quite work, but so what! This is supposed to be fun.
Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Victim of Polio,
Lead with such zeal.
Eased the Depression with
And the New Deal.
Colleague and dear.
She was admired and
Fought for the poor, though she,
Looked like a steer!
I was with Kalleh when she wrote these. As one who won't even attempt a DD, I enjoyed watching the wheels turn as she churned these out!
Chris!!! You have tickled my funny bone to the core. I love everything Python and your DD is no exception. (I have the CDROM "Monty Python's Complete Waste of Time" and it turns everything on your computer into a Pythonesque bit... I highly recommend it.)
I also have schooled my children in Monty Pythonism and I bet I have the only 13 and 12 year olds who know the crunchy frog and parrot sketches by heart and can act them out for company.
My favorite line? I'm glad you asked...
"Pardon me, Miss..." (Cleese)
"What you mean, Miss?" (Palin)
"Oh I'm sorry... I have a cold..." (Cleese)
It is obvious you have very high quality kids! I would expect nothing less.
Getting off the main point of this thread but since you brought it up, favorite MPFC quotes:
"There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not."
(I hope that's right. I've been searching the net for almost an hour for a confirmation with no luck. One positive aspect of the next quotation is its ease of memorization.)
(Glad you liked the MP DD.)
Earle Stanley Gardener
Explaining the compost
Brought from the zoo
Eschewed new word coinage,
Said, "Sanctuary mulch."
Skunks would say, "Whew!"
The notion of "chewing zooeffluvium" is not appealing.
Background note for brits, etc., as to US baseball:
Our largest cities have major league professional baseball teams, playing in leagues that date back to the 1870's. Until the 1950's the teams traveled to each other by rail, and it was simply impractical to spent the time needed to travel across a country of this size. As a result, all major league teams were based in cities at or east of the Mississippi River. This continued until the 1950's when, with the growth of airplane travel, teams relocated to markets further west.
One team that relocated had been in our capital city, Washington D.C. That team was so consistently poor that it inspired the witty saying used here:
Played in a town that is
Known for intrigue.
Locals would bellyache
"First in war, first in peace,
Last in the league."