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<Proofreader>
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Now my life style's chanbged. Ain't it grand?
I'm a lesbian now, understand?
There's no guy in my life,
But I do have a wife.
Should have done this before -- I'm unmanned.
 
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...as was the [i]Mary Celeste[/b]...

(and Lady Macbeth, too, as I recall - see Act iI, Scene 5)
 
Posts: 6197 | Location: Worcester, MA, USReply With QuoteReport This Post
<Proofreader>
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I always thought the Marie Celeste was unassailable.
 
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If you masturbate on a one-wheeler, is that unisex?
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Proofreader:
If you masturbate on a one-wheeler, is that unisex?

Isn't that how you would have referred to the late Sargent Shriver, if he's gotten a divorce?
 
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Recently a woman had an operation to replace her cognomen with that of another, wshich means the second person had to be defaced.
 
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No need to go to such extremes. Just bask in the sun too long and you'll be red in deface.
 
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After his wife died, Prince Ranier was disGraced


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
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Her method of demise was ungraceful.
 
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If someone puts down your dad's sister, you have a distant (dissed aunt)
 
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<Proofreader>
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quote:
After his wife died, Prince Ranier was disGraced


But her casket was graceful.
 
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All of the ash spewed from the Iceland volcano is now being sucked back into the crater as the volcano is disrupting.
 
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Proof PROOF! Yoohoo! Proof, over here!

I still need to know what name you want attached to your limericks in the book!


"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Samuel Johnson.
 
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Back to the DISMAL business of bad "dis" puns (with a little French thrown in for good measure)--

If they shut down the high-energy collider in Switzerland, what will the physicists of the Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire DISCERN ?
 
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Ask Canadian film maker Atom Egoyan what to do! I hear his barber left him distressed


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
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"I'm fuming from my bottom," said Tom aghast.
 
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"My barber left me distressed," said Atom without ado.
 
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I thinik the last two belong in the "Tom Swifties" thread.
 
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As a new member on here, if I do not behave, will I be dismembered?
 
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Yes, but if you behave yourself, we'll remember you.
 
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I joined this forum in July this year. I am filled with dismay that I did not join two months earlier.
 
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We've been dismayed since we fired our female housecleaner.
 
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The New York Mets were disMayed when Willie retired.


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
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PS: Good to see you diving into the loonier parts of this board, Metic! How about contributing a "daffynition" (fanciful, fake definition) to the Bluffing Game?


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
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If you don’t pay your Exorcist… Do you get repossessed?


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
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<Proofreader>
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No, I think you get bedeviled.
 
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If your restaurant is condemned for losing its "A" rating is it B-rated?


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
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<Proofreader>
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I think it's no longer Bess Eaton.
 
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quote:
If your restaurant is condemned for losing its "A" rating is it B-rated?

It means its food can now be beaten.


Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
 
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I was thinking of some more "dis" words...and wondered...is there a "heveled," in "disheveled?" If so, it's not very common!
 
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The hurrican returned to regale us.
 
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Charging an electric cell is revolting.


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
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<Proofreader>
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If you have an assignation, then have another is that a resignation?
 
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Does "assignation" mean one's buttocks catch fire?
Ooops, - no, that's "assignition." Confused


It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -J. Krishnamurti
 
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<Proofreader>
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Yes, in much the same way that you disinter a body. The act of so doing is obviously dysentery.
 
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If you break a coffee mug, must you recuperate?

Speaking of which, must you cuperate before you can re-cuperate?
 
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No but if you drop your soup you'll be bowled over.
 
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<Proofreader>
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Also if you drop the soap....
 
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If you try to announce something but the mike is off, when you turn it on, do you renounce what you said?
 
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If you make up a mathematical number set with two zeroes and no unit, is that by definition a BINARY system?
 
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When a kid outgrows his crib, is he a youth misspent?
 
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Is the child in the crib named "Snooky-ookums" or is that just a pen name?

Wouldn't outgrowing it mean he was dispensated?
 
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Just learned that a man had both legs amputated and he feels defeated.
 
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I missed Halloween: I'm mistreated.
 
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If a garbage collector is given an honorific banquet, is he being fetid?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Proofreader>,
 
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I left my bank because of its disinterest in my account..
 
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<Proofreader>
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Careful! Venus De Milo has a gun.
No, she's been disarmed.

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Colon surgery can be highly distracting
 
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If you need to have colon surgery again, does that mean you are retractable?
 
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If it's "Standard" time on land, when you're under water does it become substandard?
 
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