<Proofreader> posted September 11, 2008 08:22
I certainly hope I'm never in a horrible accident and diagonally .
<Proofreader> posted September 19, 2008 08:09
There was a problem with one of our nuclear weapons and we are discrete .
Member George was mugged yesterday and
divested of his valuables.
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
<Proofreader> posted September 21, 2008 13:39
If you prick a balloon, there is no way to disburse it.
Member When they evicted me from my apartment for nonpayment of rent, I felt dislodged. ...... but when a generous friend lent me money to pay the rent, I was released.
<Proofreader> posted September 22, 2008 19:25
If I have to go, I want to die nicely, not dynasty .
Member The archaic defininition of
list meaning
inclination or
craving is preserved in the word
listless , which offers a few good options...
The cancellation of the jousting tourney has resulted in a lot of
listless ex-contestants.
The bored designated driver stood up and
listlessly gathered up his companions.
"Tell me again--what do I need to get from the grocery?" I
listlessly asked my wife.
Myth JelliesCerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
<Proofreader> posted September 23, 2008 13:52
Thee born-again Christian said he would dynamo .
Member Undecided as to whether she'd go out to dinner she said, "dinamite. "
<Proofreader> posted September 23, 2008 16:55
Did the late elderly spinster diverge ?
Member They took a certain block of literature and modified all of its names of people, places, and things .... thus it became renowned.
<Proofreader> posted September 24, 2008 05:34
Pirates are active again in the Caribbean so I guess it's been remained .
Member "left dislocation" = "she ain't here no more"
<Proofreader> posted September 24, 2008 12:11
With a new windstorm approaching, the home-owner looked at his windows and decided it was time to reply . After the storm passed, he noticed the house color was windblasted so he had to repent .
<Proofreader> posted September 24, 2008 12:15
quote:
"left dislocation" = "she ain't here no more"
"right dislocation" = "put the house back on its foundation."
Member When Cain slew his brother the family became dis-abel-ed.
<Proofreader> posted September 25, 2008 05:51
If Cain's brother was melted down into a butter substitute, would you call it Abelard ?
Member In the final scene of
The Birdcage , the conservative Senator in drag escapes the press by way of
dis-guys .
Myth JelliesCerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
<Proofreader> posted September 29, 2008 06:03
My cleaning woman quit today, so I'm dismaid .
Member You know, if she was the
Maid of Orleans then you might hear a clue to her whereabouts in
Dijon .
Myth JelliesCerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
<Proofreader> posted September 30, 2008 12:41
Or she could perform her toilet in Dijon .
Member Wouldn't that sanctify it--make it all
saint loo-ey ?
Myth JelliesCerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
Member While we are on place names...
Do you realize how hard it is to get food service in
Decatur ?
Myth JelliesCerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
<Proofreader> posted October 01, 2008 16:41
Now that the pedophile is gone, the kid is disabused . I paid the court but they wanted more money, so I guess I'm refined .
<Proofreader> posted October 02, 2008 09:53
Terrorists destroyed a foreign embassy, so they'll have to relegate .
Member I put tubeless Michelins on my 4WD. Now I'm retired.
<Proofreader> posted October 03, 2008 13:16
My grass died so I have to recede .
Member After his hemorrhoid surgery, he declared himself assfixiated.
<Proofreader> posted October 06, 2008 14:35
Once I turned 65, I retard . Then my driveway got bumpy so I retard . But it had already ruined my wheels, so I retard . And my son signed up for another hitch in the Navy, so he retard . And at Xmas, I often drink one and then re-hot-tardy .
Member When his CPA license was revoked, he was disfigured.
<Proofreader> posted October 09, 2008 05:45
When the circumcision went awry, poor John was disjointed .
<Proofreader> posted October 09, 2008 13:02
Alaskans are having trouble getting to an island since they've been unabridged .
<Proofreader> posted October 16, 2008 08:56
A woman backed into an airplane propeller. Disaster but she's been rebutted .
Member Shortly after she had announced her engagement, someone stole her ID card. A clear case of mistaken identity.
<Proofreader> posted October 16, 2008 18:48
Desperate Housewives wouldn’t be nearly as good if they were unadulterated .
Member When he lost his case on appeal, he was refined.
<Proofreader> posted October 17, 2008 05:40
just before he was buried, a man miraculously returned to life. Unfortunately, he died a short time later and was reprobate .
<Proofreader> posted October 27, 2008 18:26
The local zoo has successfully bred a large mammal in the shape of a triangle. It's called a hippotenuse . Unfortunately, it can only mate at right angles.
Member Halloween trick-or-treaters will soon be out and about and people in our
district know to provide candy.
Myth JelliesCerebroplegia--the cure is within our grasp
<Proofreader> posted February 26, 2009 11:07
My wife shaved her hair off, so now we're both distressed If you fall out of bed, are you debunked ?
Member Strangely,
Oscar Pistorius is not often
defeated. Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
<Proofreader> posted February 26, 2009 11:53
And he can be congratulated but cannot be feted .
<Asa Lovejoy> posted March 01, 2009 06:56
But he'll be fetid for his rotten deeds.
Member "What an ingenious way to get rid of all these young newts," he said deftly.
<Proofreader> posted March 01, 2009 09:49
If you e-file a mistaken income tax form, does that make it erroneous ? And must you recall it by defiling ?
<Asa Lovejoy> posted March 01, 2009 16:52
If you quit loving something is it dephyled ?
<Proofreader> posted March 01, 2009 17:09
Is the person who helps you defile a defilade ?