"What's that, Inspector Clousseau? You've set the admitted murderer free and given him back the money he stole?"
"Yes, Inspector. The case has been dissolved."

"Unhand me!" said the Venus De Milo.

I forgot to pay the electric bill, so now I'm delighted.

My bank has quit paying me for its use of my money. I asked why, but was told they were disinterested.

My uncle said he won't leave me his toupee when he dies, so I guess I'm disinhairited.

And I suppose removing the hair from a Member of Parliament is depilaTory?

If your secretary mixes up all your records, is that defiling?

"I expected to finish eventually, but I see the task has become endless," he asserted definitely.

You just reminded me of the bashful would-be gigolo who underwent insertiveness training.

Umm...would Onanism be a metaphor for "dissemination"?

"YES!" he ejaculated!

quote:

Umm...would Onanism be a metaphor for "dissemination"?

No, that would be "condom."

Imagine what the exhaust must be: http://www.cumminsonan.com/engines/

quote:

Although Cummins Onan no longer manufacturers engines

Perhaps if they'd changed their name they might still be making them.

Did you know that Manx cats can only be sold wholesale since they can't be retailed?

I know a black guy who gets horny every time he sees "Snow White." So I guess that movie is an AfroDisneyac.

If you're tense and not relaxed, are you diseased?

No, I wasn't talking to you, Hamlet. I was speaking to disdain.

If you eat too much and vomit, but you manage to swallow the upchuck, has it been disrupted?

If you're pulled out of the Grand Canyon you're disgorged

Is the retirement of a Latin prostitute a disputation?

That's the putative conclusion of a smart Latina hooker.

Heard that Tiger might marry his puta?

The answer is dishevel.

The question is "What you gonna dig that hole with?"

My wash-and-wear pants are wrinkled so now we're both depressed.

Due to budget cuts, the federal government's Office of Disability Adjudication and Review (ODAR) is now located in an evergreen tree. The tree, alas, got chopped down with several staff members in it. They were Deodared.

It's a stretch, I know, but if the tree had been in Michigan would a German-speaker have located it in Dearborn?

The apple grower thought he could make more money brewing apple jack so this year he's going to decider.

The doctors successfully operated on my hernia today so I've been disrupted. Unfortunately, the scalpel slipped so I am now disjointed.

Ooohhh, quel déballage!

I think the chefs in my gourmet club want to throw me out. They were overheard talking about dismembering me.

Hello dis-gamers,

I am an Antipodean who joined Wordcraft to generate interest in my book (Casting Nasturtiums), an aim which has been a complete failure so far. Anyway in the process Wordcraft got me hooked on it, in particular the Limerick Game, which I managed to win with my first two efforts. I recently spent a couple of hours reading with much delight a lot of the contributions to the dis-game and although determined not to get hooked again, I inadvertently found myself trying to think of examples. So for what it's worth here's a few I thought up. I haven't managed to finish reading the whole list so some of them may be duplicates of other contributions, but I hope a few of them are unique and that at least one of them brings a smile to the face of some of you, so that I at least feel my contribution was worthwhile.

• Is an exiled Scandinavian disdained?
  
• Could an inability to prove a theory, be said to have improved the theory?
  
• The theory of double negatives would suggest that you can burn non-inflammable material.
  
• He was born under the sign of Aries the ram and she thought he was very "establishment". He said he definitely wasn't. She didn't believe him and said she didn't like him for that. So he accused her of "antidisestablishmentarianism".
  
• Perhaps when Robin Hood was with Maid Marion and without his trusty bow and arrow he was guilty of debauchery. (A bit weak I know)
  
• After the scientist discharged all his static electricity he became unattractive.
  
• The gymnast's fall from the apparatus was unparalleled but he was nonetheless debarred.
  
• When he did not turn up to do his show, had David Copperfield disappeared?
  
• Just because you are unable to feel things is no reason to be so insensitive.
  
• He went around loudly humming, "Nnnn!" all day, until a bloke with a knuckle duster told him to shut the hell up, and he was suddenly disenchanted.
  
• He was so ordinary, he was extraordinary!
  
• He never wanted to have a sister. Was he the antithesis?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,

I thought some to be excellent! You're going to give Proofreader a run for his money!

When the notary's seal broke, was his client unimpressed?

Thanks Geoff,

On the subject of exiles it also struck me that:

The exiled Finn has some unfinished business. and
The exiled Pole must have been unpolished

Whilst the now clean former Coke addict might be uncoked, the withdrawal symptoms of the corresponding Pepsi addict will probably be dyspepsia.

I've a stain on y shirt which I will have to despot.

Unable to integrate the equation, the mathematician completely disintegrated.

After months of anger management therapy he thought he was cured, but now he's got distemper and he's really angry about that.

The worst fruit to be temporarily turned into would be a peach, because on return to normal you would be impeached. Not that a pear would be any better because you'd return impeared

The man with lily-white skin went out in the sun to get a tan, whereby he became impaled.

After unprotected sex is the morning-after pill required to impregnate the woman?

Since "impregnate" means to make pregnant, it does not make sense. I wonder if the one who regrets impregnating her thereafter used a condom as a peni-tent?

If an olympic athlete has a condemnation removed, is he discussed?

If you can't taste anything and it frustrates you, you're disgusted.
(There, that one actually made sense!)

I've lost my old English coins so I'm dispensed.

What will you use to dig the grave?
Dishevel.

The wife said to her servant, "Did my husband have sex with you?"
"Yes, and I'm disgusted."
"And you're also dismayed."

Thanks Geoff,

quote:

Since "impregnate" means to make pregnant, it does not make sense. I wonder if the one who regrets impregnating her thereafter used a condom as a peni-tent?

I thought impregnate and pregnate were synonyms like inflammable and flammable, but I guess I was having an irregardless moment!

The navy should ensure that all the ships in its fleet are not synchronised with each other. That way its fleet would be unsynchable.

quote:

Originally posted by Proofreader:

"And you're also dismayed."

Nah, that's what the NY Giants were with Willie left.

Or when we ripped one month off the calenda.

It would be inappropriate behaviour to appropriate stolen goods. Would it be appropriate behaviour to subsequently inappropriate those goods?

Why are all the other numbers jealous of the prime numbers? Because they get undivided attention.

The East Asian exile was disoriented.

Did Marion Jones, Floyd Landis and their ilk, suffer dystrophy after being stripped of their titles?

After removal from the Britney Spears concert the heckler was disconcerted.
Speaking of Britney Spears, after shaving her head she was clearly distressed.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Greg S,

After losing the soft drink contract she suffered dysPepsia