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Picture of shufitz
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quote:
Originally posted by KHC:
There once was a boy named Rex,
Who thought he was under a hex.
He found a wordsite,
Where he'd Jumble all night,
But it really was all about sex. Razz


The law has Latin maxim expressing that it will not deal with extremely extremely minor transgressions, such as those which have caused no more than trivial damage. But here's another use of that maxim:

The charge filed against lawyer Rex
(With his minuscule organ of sex)
Was indecent exposure.
He pled, with composure,
"De minimis non curat lex."

[This message was edited by shufitz on Mon Feb 23rd, 2004 at 14:52.]
 
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Shufitz,

That was wonderful...!! I had almost forgotten the limerick I had written about S-E-X... Eek

Sometimes the JUMBLE board goes crazy with dressing and undressing women and "ups" and downs.. it just tickles me.

Kalleh and I are just SO embarrassed... Heh heh heh..
 
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Picture of C J Strolin
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quote:
Originally posted by Richard English:
Barbara giggles and flounces off.


"Flounce" is one of those words which everyone knows but which might be difficult to give an exact definition for. With this in mind, I looked it up to find that it means "to move in a lively or bouncy manner."

Considering the subject matter involved, R.E. once again seems to have selected precisely the correct word.


We in the states are occasionally treated to a "Carry On" film (very rarely, actually, and usually on Public Television well past midnight) but the "bouncy" humor definitely travels well.
 
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As I said in another thread, I have been trying to write a limerick (or, worse, a DD) to Robert and aput. Now, I had it in my mind that I wanted to rhyme everything with "aput" (I pronounce it "aput," which made it all worse because my rhyming dictionary has precisely 2 words that rhyme with "aput," "soot" and "foot" (with all the variations thereof.)

Here is my miserable finished product (a C- at best!), and I surely welcome any improvements. I am just glad to get this baby off my plate! Wink

Welcome to Wordcraft!

Greetings to Robert and aput!
Great to have you afoot. (wish we had more of you!)
Your posts we admire,
They set us afire,
Leaving us minimal soot.

[It's that last line that stinks!]
 
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A Limerick's not much of a job
If you let your mind wander and lob
Any word - such as kaput -
To take care of Aput
Then simply change Robert to Rob

Richard English
 
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If Limericks is your new hobby
When welcoming them to our lobby
"aput" is imbedded
And "Robert" is headed
For a nickname; how about Robbie?
 
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Now, why didn't my rhyming dictionary have "kaput?" Mad That would have been a lot easier than "soot!"
 
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Rules are Rules and Must Be Followed Except, Of Course, When I Find It Convenient to Do Otherwise.

With Kalleh, I must disagree.
This limerick was easy for me.
I say Welcome to
Both Bob and Aput.
(The "T" is quite silent, you see!)
 
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Well, CJ, you know I must comment! Razz

I thought you were the one who advocates for only perfect rhymes. Ah, but now I see how you get away with imperfect rhymes!

Here is the revision, based on Richard's "kaput." (I am still mad at my rhyming dictionary!)

Greetings Robert and aput;
Great having you afoot.
Your posts we admire;
They set us afire.
Without you...we're all but kaput!

[I had better be careful; I haven't seen either of them for awhile!]
 
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I do have a rhyming dictionary but I confess I rarely ever use it. Certainly I didn't do so for any of the limericks or the DD I wrote.

I usually find that the rhyme comes easily or not at all.

Richard English
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh:
I thought you were the one who advocates for only perfect rhymes. Ah, but now I see how you get away with _imperfect_ rhymes!
"Imperfect rhymes"??! Me?! I beg to differ! My "Aput" is pronounced "a-POO," a dead-on rhyme for "to." It's an imaginative rhyme, yes, but far from an imperfect one.

Here is the revision, based on Richard's "kaput." (I am still mad at my rhyming dictionary!)

Greetings Robert and aput;
Great having you afoot.
Your posts we admire;
They set us afire.
Without you...we're all but kaput!

You say Shufitz is a stickler for exactness regarding the 6th lines of double dactyls. Besides rhymes, I suppose I'm similarly particular in regards to meter. May I suggest:

Greetings to Bob and Aput.
It's great having you here afoot. (then your last 3 lines)

If, in fact, "Aput" rhymes with "kaput," the lack of workable rhymes makes this particular Wordcrafter difficult to versify. "Afoot" means "in progress" (as in "There's trouble afoot") which, as you use it here, is a bit of a stretch, plus it's a bit too close in appearance to "underfoot" to make for a smoothly read limerick.

"A" for effort, "A" for substance, "C+" for verse.


 
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quote:
I suppose I'm similarly particular in regards to meter
Yes, I definitely take more freedom with limericks than with DDs. I am a complete stickler about rhythm with DDs; in fact, I hate DDs where the rhythm is off, even if otherwise it is funny and perfect. I don't feel that way about limericks. I wrote a limerick once and asked Shu about it. He said, "Honey, it's great." Then in a lower voice, "Of course, it isn't a limerick."
Roll Eyes

Yes, CJ, I like your revisions. In fact, when I went back and reread my limerick, it sounded so awful that I want to delete it. Part of the problem was, I badly wanted to keep "Robert," since we have a "Bob" already.
 
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Wordcrafters Richard and Jerry,
Your pictures are making us merry!
You look very spiffy,
Not at all squiffy,
Though, both of your faces are hairy!

P.S. Can you see that I tried to put up an avatar, but failed miserably! Frown Roll Eyes I remain computer challenged!
 
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As noted in the Wordplay section, there are several outlets for limerick writers who may not, for whatever reason, care to be part of the OEDILF Project.

We certainly don't have a monopoly on five-line aabba poetry!
 
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We're all searching hard for a verse.
Judging which ones are better or worse.
Finding rhythms and feet
With poetical beat
And thoughts that are pithy and terse.
 
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Wordcrafter limericks are great!
Posting them here is your fate.
Give us your best,
With lots of zest!
Waiting for you to create....

Now that CJ has his OEDILF site up (congrats, CJ!), don't forget to keep up with your creations, wordcrafters! Wink
 
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Our shy poster, Oscar, sent me this one from London. I just wish he'd post here more!

A maiden at Oxford named Breeze
Weighed down by BAs and MDs
Collapsed from the strain.
Said her doctor "It's plain,
She is killing herself by degrees."

Oscar would like me to acknowledge the "The Daily Telegraph" Readers' Letters (20 Aug) and Mr Bernard Lawson of London SW1.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,
 
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Strict Constructionists of the World Unite!

...I definitely take more freedom with limericks than with DDs

I don't mean to cavil or curse
But I note disappointment, or worse,
When I see that the feet're
Not true to tne meter
Defined by the rules for the verse!

(although somehow "pick-up notes" at the beginning of a line can be exempt from this insistence)

PS. That's "rules" with one syllable, not ROO-els. I guess that's an imperfection right there, if regional language patterns permit alternative pronunciation.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: haberdasher,
 
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To an anonymous WC critic who thinks we have become too serious:

There once was a critic of wordcraft,
His thinking as clear as a bird...daft!
Our site is still fun,
With lim'ricks and pun.
At him fellow posters and nerds laughed!

I know, I know..."nerds laughed" doesn't quite do it, but, hey, it's tough to rhyme 'wordcraft!'

So, what do you think (in lim'rick form of course), have we become too serious? Smile

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Kalleh,
 
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I'm sure that we're having some great fun
With dactyls, six words and a bad pun.
We twist up our letters
And show up our betters
With daffy defining. This pome's done.
 
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quote:
Originally posted by jo:
I'm sure that we're having some great fun
With dactyls, six words and a bad pun.
We twist up our letters
And show up our betters
With daffy defining. This pome's done.


And nicely done, too!

If I may just clean up he meter a bit, though, taking what is (I trust) minimal liberty with the text itself:

"I'm sure that we're having great fun
With dactyls, six words and a pun.
We twist up our letters
And show up our betters
With daffy defining. I'm done."

:-)
 
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I can't believe I messed up on the timing that badly. Thanks!
 
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Notwithstanding claimed faults in her meter
(Which hab has made flow all the fleeter),
Everyone knows
No foes can depose
Our Queen Jo – there is none could defeat'r.
 
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You're really quite lovely you know.
You cause a harmonious flow
Of words from my pen
(The ink's virtual, I ken)
And make of my poesy a show.
 
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Great, guys! Big Grin

My thanks to our friends on this forum,
Who post with such glee and decorum!
Our critic is wrong,
Our humo(u)r is strong!
He's giving us nonsense...ignore 'im!
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh, Sep 8, 3:39 PM:

To an anonymous WC critic who thinks we have become too serious:

There once was a critic of wordcraft,
His thinking as clear as a bird...daft!
Our site is still fun,
With lim'ricks and pun.
At him fellow posters and nerds laughed!

posted Sep 8, 10:13 PM

My thanks to our friends on this forum,
Who post with such glee and decorum!
Our critic is wrong,
Our humo(u)r is strong!
He's giving us nonsense...ignore 'im!

The critic’s views are subjective;
There is no need for invective.
It’s quite plain to see
That you don’t agree,
But keep it all in perspective.

We've discussed this before, Kalleh. It was our own CJ (Nov.8 - the archive doesn't give the year, but I wish it did) who divided us into "First Group people (greengrocers, inmates of maximum security prisons, teenagers etc.)", "the more reasonable Second Group", and "Third Groupers". He had this to say about "Third Groupers": Might they, despite all their best efforts, become a counter-productive force regarding the proper use of English by driving away those of us in the middle second group, the better-than-average-but-not-perfect people, with unreasonable corrections and improvements to our beloved Mother Tongue?" And someone else (I forget who) commented that a particular discussion was "no fun". They're not "daft" or "wrong" just because they voiced opinions that others may not share. There is a wide variety of topics discussed on this board, ranging from the silly to the esoteric. We each follow the discussions that interest us and skip the others. The addition of more linguists and etymologists to this board has naturally shifted some of the discussionthe into more academic areas. Some of us find this fascinating and others find it very dry and boring. Some of us can't even understand it! I think this is what your "critic" was referring to. His or her comment should be considered just that and not necessarily a criticism.

Tinman

This message has been edited. Last edited by: tinman,
 
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Thanks, Tinman, for helping me to put it into perspective. It is no secret that I am terribly sensitive when it comes to wordcraft. I think you are right. Someone else reminded me privately that, after all, boards, like life, are dynamic and always changing. He advised me not to "bemoan the change; embrace it and benefit from it." That makes sense.

And, really, I was only kidding (maybe half-kidding Wink)

BTW, the year of CJ's post was 2002.

Oh, and, put me in the group that "can't even understand it!"
 
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I can understand only part of it. Some of it makes my eyes glaze over.

Tinman
 
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quote:
Tell me, and I'll probably understand it
Ask me, and I'll probably do it
Hint to me and I'll probably miss it.

Richard English


PLAIN ENGLISH

There once was a fella named English
Who was clever enough to distinguish
A "Yes" from a "No"
But don't imply that he go
'Cause he won't 'cause it's not in plain english.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: straightarrow,
 
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Plain English may be overrated.
It's true that most things can be stated
In words that are plain,
That won't cause disdain.
Such language sometimes sounds quite dated.
 
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The use of a ten dollar word,
In place of a twenty cent verb,
By speakers of English
Will never distinguish.
It just leaves them sounding absurd.
 
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Picture of Caterwauller
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I must say that, though I'm a newbie
I have really enjoyed reading through-bie
all the limericks here
from far and from near
and I didn't e'en partake of a doobie!

I couldn't resist, what with the previous sub-thread about dropping acid and tokes and so forth.

As for the use of "do" here in the states, I propose this coinage:

"Come do me," she said with a twinkle
and giving her eye a quick winkle
she flounced off to bed
and he just shook his head
thinking "Why not give the old sheets a wrinkle?"

too contrived?


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
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I think I've gone soft in the head
and I joke I'd be better off dead
now I'm constantly rhyming
all of the timing
even when dreaming in bed!


will the obsession stop??? I think I am going to need a 12-step program to get over this site!


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
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Picture of Hic et ubique
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"I am going to need a 12-step program to get over this site!"

But why would you want to? Smile Welcome to the madhouse, Caterwauller!
 
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My brain is awash with great simile
my coworkers all say, "By Jiminy!
She's nuts, don't you know
I wish she'd just go
Back home to her fireplace and chiminy!"


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
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It's good now to have a librarian
An expert in matters grammarian
But the Limerick rhyme
Could take all your time
Though your lifespan's a true centinarian


Richard English
 
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A family once entered a corn maze
adventure and good times to seek
but as time went by
Mama said, with a sigh
"We must leave, I needs must take a leak!"


Took us about a hour to get through the maze in the corn field (should I call it a Maize Maze?), but sure was fun!


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
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I have been at a conference about Sages in Nursing, so it prompted this:

My profession is that of a nurse;
It can be a bit of a curse.
We get no respect;
Yet I suspect:
Without them? You'd best get a hearse!
 
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My profession is that of librarian.
In some ways I'm a communitarian.
I will help you look
for your info or book,
but I'm not yet a quinquagenarian!

(no silver hair in a bun . . . I do wear practical shoes, and I suppose dowdy clothes, but not drab colors . . . and I am NOT quiet and shy - lol - oh yes, and I don't have a pet cat, only a snake)


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
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Great! How about more of these, guys? Shu, lawyer ought to be fun to do! Wink
 
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I no longer slave in the fields
Of learning, where teaching oft yields
An answer outre.
I've gone out to play.
Dear, get me my sword and my shields!
 
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I love my 3 kids; I'm their "mother."
(Defining it "mom;" not the other!)
They give me much joy;
They sometimes annoy.
Though, why do they call me "Big Brother?"
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Caterwauller:
I don't have a pet cat, only a snake)


What type of snake, CW? I used to have a garter snake (Eastern or Common, not sure). I wanted a bigger one so I could let it roam around the house, but my dad didn't like them so I had to compromise (indeed, it took me fourteen years, from the age of four to 18, to persuade him to let me have one. Never let it be said that I'm not persistent Wink).

Erm... I'm limericked out at the moment. Sorry.
 
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We own a Ball Python named Jack,
and some of my friends give me slack.
But he's sleak and he's clean,
a rat-eating machine,
and he's gentle, he'll never attack!

Actually, you would not want him to roam freely. He's a burrowing animal, and would get into the ventilation system or the walls and get stuck. Unlike cats, snakes don't pay attention to how big their bodies are when they're deciding where to go (it's true what they say about reptilian brains). But he's very happy in his tank, and is currently almost full grown, at about 4 ft long.

It's great to own a snake - it helps me keep my status as "coolest mom". ;-)


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
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Oh, I hate all those slithering snakes!
They give me the willies and shakes!
They're slimey and creepy,
And make me all weepy.
Take them you Cats! My head aches!

Oh, I feel so free when I post limericks here because I don't have to worry about all that workshopping! Big Grin

it helps me keep my status as "coolest mom".

I had a bit of that too (though never a snake!). Let's see, we had a cat, 2 ferrets, a dog, usually some sort of amphibian (needing crickets of course), and some pet that was so rare that I forgot what it was (Shu?).

Loved the day when the crickets we had just bought got out as we were eating lunch in a restaurant! Eek Though, the restaurant didn't much "love" it!
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Caterwauller:
We own a Ball Python named Jack,

The site you quoted said, "Ball pythons are in the same scientific family as other Boas and Pythons, as such they are constrictors." Hmm. They squeeze balls? And what happens when he climbs on the counter or some place you don't want him? Do you say, "Jack! Off!"?

Tinman
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh:
Loved the day when the crickets we had just bought got out as we were eating lunch in a restaurant!

That reminds me of the restaurant scene in Victor/Victoria.

Tinman
 
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quote:
Originally posted by tinman:
Hmm. They squeeze balls? And what happens when he climbs on the counter or some place you don't want him? Do you say, "Jack! Off!"?

Tinman


Well, we don't let him out of our hands when he's not in his tank. He is a snake that enjoys being stroked. Wink


*******
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai Lama
 
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quote:
Originally posted by Kalleh:
I love my 3 kids; I'm their "mother."
(Defining it "mom;" not the other!)
They give me much joy;
They sometimes annoy.
Though, why do they call me "Big Brother?"
Reminds me of Ogden Nash speaking of another profession, the entomologist specializing in moths. (That's bugs, not 'etymologist.' Italics added.)
    A male entomologist author
    Waxed wrother and wrother and wrother,
    Because of his brother,
    Who called him a mother,
    Instead of an eminent mother.
 
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Oh, great, Hic. Show me up to the great Ogden! Roll Eyes It just shows that mine could use a little...what's that 'W' word? Wink
 
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